When Harry Left Severus
by Raven Dancer
Summary: Sometimes there is no such thing as "Happily ever after". Complete.
1. Chapter 1: Severing Ties

Title: When Harry Left Severus  
by: Raven Dancer   
  
rating: R for adult themes including male/male relationships.   
  
Chapter 1 - Severing Ties  
  
  
disclaimer: All characters belong to J.K. Rowling except for the Drs. Barnes, Daniel Murphy and Beryl. I receive no monetary compensation for these works.  
  
a/n Having read a plethora of fanfiction that couples students with teachers, especially Harry Potter and Severus Snape in happily ever after' scenarios I decided to write my own version.  
  
Thank you, HLB, for your ideas, your editing, and especially your friendship.  
  


************  


  
The first five days the owls bore messages of loneliness and need: wanting to come home, knowing he could not.   
  
Each message was read, a response was written and passed on to Remus Lupin to be reviewed before sending. Sirius Black had been very leery at first; wondering if Snape had been right: that all Harry needed was a few weeks away to be broken of his fascination with the Potions Master.  
  
They had destroyed Voldemort together. Harry had been fine afterward, requiring little medical attention. But Snape... Snape had been drained of his strength and his powers diminished. By all reckoning he would regain them over time and had, after six months, improved enough to be sent home from hospital to his rambling manor deep in the countryside.  
  
Much to Black's dismay Harry had stayed by the bastard's side all six months at St. Mungo's then came to live with him at the manor home. Lupin tried to mediate between Severus and Black, pointing to the change in the Potions Master's bearing: he simply was no longer the hateful, angry wizard Black had once known.  
  
Which led to another contentious point: Lupin had been Snape's lover for over 12 years during the time Black was in Azkaban for murder. Snape had let his lover go when Black escaped and exposed Peter Pettigrew as the true culprit. Black, after all, had been Lupin's mate before the events which sent him to prison.  
  
It appeared to Harry, and all those at Hogwarts at the time, that Snape had exposed Lupin as a werewolf thus destroying his ability to teach. Lupin was dismissed from Hogwarts. It was assumed the Potions Master had ruined Lupin in a fit of anger when he lost the chance to get the Order of Merlin first class.  
  
It appeared this way to everyone except Lupin, Black and Dumbledore. Black was sick, needing much attention after his 12 year ordeal.   
  
And so Snape had forsaken his own heart, given up the one warm spot in his life and released Lupin to return to his mate. The werewolf loved the animagus and Snape would never stand in the way.   
  
As planned, public humiliation gave Lupin the ability to leave freely and nurture Black back to health in secret. It also caused Snape to be more reviled by staff and students alike.  
  
These events left Snape to become more reclusive in the bowels of the school. The struggle against the Dark Lord continued on for six long years. It ended in his death and destruction at the hands of both The Boy Who Lived and the Potions Master.  
  
The long fight had brought both an alliance and an understanding between the Potions Master and student. One that culminated shortly before the final battle in declarations of love and need. Their combined strengths drew them closer still. The affair that followed was tumultuous and definitely not hidden from anyone.  
  
Black railed against the match, constantly trying to drag his wayward godson away from the evil clutches of the older man. Then Voldemort died. To Black's mind it had bad enough in hospital, with Harry refusing to leave. When plans were made for Snape's release the animagus became angrier still. He didn't care if Snape were the true savior of the Wizarding world. As far as he was concerned Snape was a slimy git and no good for Harry.  
  
Despite Black's ill-will it was Snape himself who invited Lupin and Black to live with Harry and him. They were given full access to all of the manor. They were able to delve into all the darkness Snape was reputed to hold while Harry played the dutiful lover, caring for his chosen.  
  
Dumbledore was a regular guest at Snape's home, spending weekends tending to his best friend. Dr. James Barnes, the Healer from Hogsmeade, also came weekly to continue looking after the weakened wizard's health.  
  
Despite the opinions of Dumbledore, Harry himself and his mate Lupin, Black kept trying to pull Harry away, to break the bonds that had grown between him and the Potions Master. After four months, in the first winter after Voldemort's fall, Snape himself began talking to Harry about his younger life and of his love of travel and exploration; something he sorely missed during the long struggle against the dark forces.  
  
Lupin watched as Snape sat in the morning room, waxing eloquently of the nightlife in London and Paris, planting the seeds of curiosity and wanderlust in his young lover. He even encouraged both Black and Lupin to recount their own adventures and love of travel.   
  
Once planted, the seeds were nurtured. Gentle suggestions were made to visit other cities; meet up with old friends from school. Even Black was astounded as he watched the Potions Master pushing Harry away. Harry was finally unable to deny the need to go and see the world and be with his age mates. He made plans to meet Ron in France and travel several weeks through that country then down to the tip of Italy. Hermione even requested a two weeks leave of absence from teaching to join her friends.  
  
There was initial dismay from his lover when Snape gracefully declined to join him; claiming he was well enough to be left alone but not well enough for the rigors of travel. After all his carefully laid plans, Harry relented with the proviso Lupin, at the least, would stay with Snape. Black reluctantly agreed to remain at his lover's insistence and let Harry explore the world with his friends.  
  
So, on a fine spring day in early April, Harry left. The owls had been frequent at first and Snape read each carefully before responding. He always expressed great pleasure that Harry was having a grand time traveling; always encouraged him to continue, noting that he, Snape, was fine under his companions' watchful eyes.  
  
Each owl and its response went to Lupin to share with Black before the reply was sent off.  
  
When the owl came describing a new friend Harry had met in Paris, Snape was more encouraging, more than willing for his young lover to explore. Even Black could read between his godson's lines: there was an attraction and Snape gave permission in his between-lines to pursue it.  
  
I never intended for Harry to ruin his life staying with me, Snape said simply, sweeping out of the kitchen when both Lupin and Black stared at him.   
  
Finally Black understood: it was not that Snape was a cold hateful man who wanted to torment Harry and keep the young man bound to him forever. He had only given Harry time and space to avoid the entire wizarding world before returning to the public eye. He was still a celebrity, The then Who Lived. But over time the initial glory and frenzy of public interest had dimmed and the world at large was willing to let Harry go out without the harassment that would have crushed him earlier.  
  
The owls slowed over the two weeks after Harry met his new . Then finally there was an owl bringing some regret, some bittersweet news that Harry was going to spend more time in the French countryside with a young wizard named Vachel. Dobby had gone to his precious Harry Potter, wanting nothing more than to work for him.  
  
Snape's response was dignified and positive, full of the love and encouragement that marked him for who he truly was, a man who loved Harry more than even Black could imagine.  
  
After this exchange of owls, Snape rambled through his manor, finding stray pools of sunlight to nap in as he still struggled to regain the strength lost defeating Voldemort. He packed up all Harry's belongings for him when he was ready to collect them and spent meals cordially... but ate less and less.  
  
It was Lupin who first suspected there was something more was happening between Harry and Snape. An owl had come and was not shared... put away somewhere in the depths of Snape's private room. A second was similarly treated. Then an owl came for Black.  
  
It was full of excitement. Harry shared his new life, his new love, and an invitation to join him in his new home. Black read with growing happiness until the last few lines:   
  
_Think of it, Sirius! Free at last from that snarky old git   
who's made our life a misery_, Harry had written. A misery? Not at all. In fact, the last six months had been wonderful for Black. He had his privacy, his mate, and a wonderful manor in which to wander about and in which there was plenty to do. Several fireplaces were on the floo network, so traveling to places such as The Leaky Cauldron and Hogsmeade, was simple. And Black had to admit Snape simply wasn't the snarky old git' he used to be.   
  
Lupin was happy, too. The gardens kept him busy and there was enough forest beyond for him to run in on nights of the full moon. Having a Potions Master was also a great boon, saving him the worry about meeting his monthly potions needs. And he still loved Severus, his dear friend over the years.  
  
So Black had tactfully declined Harry's invitation saying he wished to remain in Scotland... saying Lupin needed the freedom of the manor. Owls continued to come several times a month full of spirit and always with an encouragement to join Harry in France. They all included a few sentences about the Potions Master that weren't kind.  
  
It was the return of Dobby that alarmed both Lupin and Black. He simply appeared in the kitchen after a month, preparing a tea tray for Snape. The house elf wouldn't say much, only that he wanted to be with Professor Snape.   
  
Finally, Lupin went to speak to the Potions Master, venturing into his bedroom. He watched as a parchment was shoved into a pocket.  
  
Severus, why has Dobby come back? Lupin asked quietly, sitting on the sofa across from his friend.  
  
I don't know, Snape lied. He merely asked if I would take  
him on as my servant. He was very adamant. The werewolf could smell the lie, his eyes traveled over his old lover reading the exhaustion and misery. He longed to comfort the wizard but restrained himself.   
  
I am going to rest in the morning room, Remus. I'm rather   
tired, Snape had admitted as he stood and left the room. Lupin watched him go, feeling the heat roll off his body as he passed. Glancing at the just vacated chair, he saw a flash of white. The parchment.  
  
With a guilty movement the werewolf retrieved the letter and read it swiftly. The vitriol within was palpable and, with a shrinking heart, he realized it was from Harry.  
  
Besides condemning him for his involvement with Voldemort, Harry berated Severus for keeping him so long after the final battle... accusations that he was keeping his godfather against his will at the manor... spiteful, hurtful... and a post script stating he'd be visiting _again_ to pick up a few more of his things.  
  
Again? When had Harry visited since he'd left on his travels? And if he was so sure Black was being held there, why hadn't he sought him out when he had come? Had he? Had Black not mentioned it to him? With parchment in hand he went to find his mate.  
  
Black was lounging in the gardens, also holding a parchment. He watched Lupin cross the grass and sink down next to him.  
  
Lupin asked. Black handed the letter over. This one was friendly, still pressing them to join him in France.  
  
Did Harry drop by in the last month or so and I missed him? Lupin asked. Black looked at him quizzically.  
  
I haven't seen him since he left nearly two months ago, Black responded. Wordlessly Lupin handed him Harry's other letter. The animagus read, his face slowly turning dark.   
  
Well, that explains why Severus' become so silent and moody, Black commented noncommittally.  
  
Siri, he's sick again; he won't let me near him to check, Lupin said worriedly.  
  
I'd be sick too, if someone I cared about wrote this to me.  
What is up with Harry? Black asked, concern painting his voice.  
  
I don't know but I can guess. It's the first time he's been   
out and really free in his life. Completely unmonitored.   
Maybe his new lover is souring his memories of Sev? Jealousy is a nasty thing, Lupin offered.   
  
I want to go check on him, but if Severus is sick, I don't want  
to seem like we're abandoning him, Black responded.  
Did he say why came Dobby back?  
  
Severus told me he didn't know, Lupin sighed. He lied,  
Siri, I know he lied to me.  
  
Suddenly a dark shape popped in front of them. Dobby. The house elf was wringing his hands.  
  
Black encouraged. The elf actually flinched.  
  
Mr. Potter is here Mister Sirius. Mr. Potter is here waking  
the master, the elf eked out.  
  
Well, then, let's go speak with Mr. Potter, Black replied. Dobby nodded vigorously and pulled on his hand.  
  
Professor Snape is sick and needents be disturbed. Mr.  
Potter is loud, Mister Sirius. Make Mr. Potter be quiet for  
Professor Snape, the elf begged. They followed the house elf quickly into the house and hurried to the Morning Room where Snape liked the late morning sun.  
  
When did Harry become Mr. Potter', Lupin whispered to his mate. Black shrugged as they caught the sound of yelling down the hall. They could hear an angry voice launching bitterness. Together they entered the sitting room. The lounge was vacant and Snape stood by the windows arms tightly wound around his body. Harry was standing a few feet away, body rigid, spewing his anger out at the silent figure.  
  
Black called and immediately the young man turned and smiled broadly.  
  
Sirius! Remus! Harry exclaimed as he rushed to hug both godfather and friend.  
He wouldn't tell me where you were, he indicated angrily.  
  
Professor Snape tell Mr. Potter Mister Sirius was in the   
gardens. Dobby was told to take Mr. Potter to the gardens, the house elf squeaked. He was scared. Why was the elf scared?  
  
Still lying, eh Dobby? I have no use for a lying house elf!  
I'm sure you'll fit here just fine, Potter snapped. Dobby slinked off, moving near Snape, away from the irate glare.  
  
House elves do not lie, Harry, no matter what you've  
been told. They will refrain from... Snape started to defend the house elf.  
  
Shut up! Just shut up! I didn't come to listen to your  
pathetic lies either. I just want some of my things and make   
sure you weren't keeping my godfather locked in the   
dungeons, Harry burst out again. He turned to Black.  
Honestly, Sirius, I don't understand why you stay here. You  
hate him, you've always hated him!   
  
Black said quietly, come and let's get your things.  
Remus? the animagus tipped his head towards the Potions Master.  
  
Go ahead, Lupin gestured in understanding. Black pulled his godson from the room.   
  
Lupin waited a full minute before turning and looking at his friend. Snape stood completely still, Dobby leaning against his leg. Both looked out the windows but clearly saw nothing.  
  
Dobby? Would you bring us some fresh tea and a light  
snack, please? Lupin asked quietly. The elf nodded and disappeared. Now came the difficult part. The wizard slowly moved next to Snape. The stone mask was firmly in place and it seemed he didn't even notice his friend.  
  
Well, Remus, don't you want to go pack?... I never intended  
to keep you and Sirius here. I'm very sorry, Snape managed without emotion. Then he cracked.  
gods, I'm sorry. I know I'm a disgusting creature, but I  
never meant to, to, and he had to stop turning abruptly away from Lupin and leaning against the thick glass window.   
  
Finally Lupin reached out putting his hands on the Potions Master's shoulders. The shoulders were warm, too warm, and a quick body scan revealed Snape was running a fever.  
  
Severus, we don't want to leave. We are grateful you've  
let us stay. I like being here with you and Sirius, Lupin said as he very carefully began to run his hands over tight muscles. The rigid body before him was trembling. Moving closer he pulled Snape back against his own body and embraced him. The other wizard's tenuous grasp on control was lost as he began to cry.  
  
I'm s-sorry. I don't feel good Remie, Snape managed as he turned enough to hide his face on Lupin's shoulder. It was all he could do to stand there and not collapse in a sobbing heap.   
  
It's ok, Severus. It's going to be fine. Come lie down and  
I'll have Sirius call for Dr. James, Lupin said.   
  
Lupin managed to help his friend walk over to his lounge. He drew the ill wizard up against his chest as he held him gently. gods he was too warm, much too warm. Lupin's ability to scan a body using magic was limited. Still, he could tell Snape was not only running a fever but also in physical pain.  
  
Dobby returned carrying a large tray. There was a small pot of hot tea and a larger pitcher of iced juice along with the selection of tidbits to eat.  
  
Professor Snape likes cold juice? Dobby brought icy cold  
fruit juice and bubbly water, the elf said setting the tray down and pouring out a glass mixing the two liquids together. Lupin reached out for it and thanked the house elf, bringing the drink to his friend's lips.  
  
Sev? Drink for me, he coaxed. At first Snape drank, very thirstily, but he soon stopped and moved a hand over his stomach.   
  
It hurts, it hurts when I drink, he whimpered, now giving into his pain. Lupin placed his hand over his stomach and scanned the roiling and burning beneath the surface.  
  
I think a milk based drink would be better. Dobby? Lupin called the elf closer and explained what he wanted.   
And tell Sirius I need to see him. Again the elf snapped out of the room leaving the two wizards huddled together. Lupin whispered a soothing charm over his friend's stomach then snugged him closer.  
  
I never meant to hurt anyone Remie. Albus asked me to   
protect Harry a little while, Snape said sadly. He stilled against his comforter and said nothing more.   
  
You haven't hurt me and I know you haven't hurt Sirius. You  
love Harry. Just relax Sev. I'll stay with you, Lupin soothed, running his hand over Snape's back.  
  
The door soon opened again and Dobby trotted over with a tall tumbler.  
  
Professor Snape wants milky drink? the house elf gave the cool drink to Lupin.  
  
Yes, Dobby, thank you. Is Sirius coming? the wizard asked as he held the cup to Snape's lips and encouraged him to sip.  
This will make you stomach feel better, love. Drink some  
for me.  
  
Mister Sirius is coming back. Mister Sirius help Mr. Potter   
with boxy things. Sirius Black will be here, Dobby reported faithfully. The elf settled on the edge of the lounge and rested against his master. Snape took several tentative sips before taking a longer drink. The cool, creamy concoction coated his stomach and stopped the burning.  
  
Again the door opened and Black came in looking furious. His glaring eyes met his lover's. Lupin shook his head slightly as he mouthed a silent plea for him to calm down. The animagus took several deep breaths before continuing over to the lounge. He took in the trembling Potions Master holding onto Lupin tightly with eyes closed. The milk drink was set down.  
  
Sev, let Sirius check you over. He's better at scanning  
than I am. Then we can call Dr. James, ok? Lupin asked softly. Snape nodded in agreement but did not release his grip.  
  
Just relax, Severus. You don't have to move, Black leaned over the lounge and placed his hands on the Potions Master's head as he began to concentrate. Slowly he worked his way down the wizard's body until he came to Dobby. With a careful sigh he patted the elf on the shoulder.  
  
Ok, Severus. I want you to sleep a little while. Remus will  
stay right here with you and when I come back we'll get  
you cleaned up a bit and let you rest in our bed, Black murmured as he ran a sleeping charm over the ill wizard. Blinking, then yawning Snape settled down, his fingers finally unclenching as he fell asleep. Black continued to soothe him until his breathing evened out.


	2. Chapter 2: Building Trust

Title: When Harry Left Severus  
  
rating: R for adult themes including male/male relationships.   
  
Chapter 2 - Building Trust  
by: Raven Dancer  
  
disclaimer: All characters belong to J.K.. Rowling except for the Drs. Barnes, Daniel Murphy and Beryl. I receive no monetary compensation for these works.  
  
a/n: Thanks HLB for cleaning up my sentences. Who knew I was master of the fragment? You make me look good!  
  
  
He's so sick Sirius. How did we miss it? Lupin asked quietly. Black shook his head slowly.  
  
He's been slowly distancing himself from both of us. I   
don't think anyone has touched him in over a week. He's  
been eating less and less but I hadn't thought much of  
that until now. I need to go call Dr. James and tell him  
what I've read. I'll be back soon, Black said. He leaned over and kissed his mate.  
He'll be ok once we get Dr. James here.   
  
Snape remained asleep. For his part an unusually quiet Dobby curled against the two wizards.  
  
Dobby, why did you come back to Severus? Lupin asked gently. The house elf startled slightly before turning his large eyes to the werewolf's.  
  
Mr. Potter no wanted Dobby anymore. Mr. Vachel told   
Mr. Potter Dobby took things. Mr. Vachel said Dobby told   
lies. Mr. Potter believe Mr. Vachel and not Dobby, the house elf said sadly; large tears fell slowly from his luminous eyes.  
Mr. Potter send Dobby away.  
  
What is Mr. Vachel's last name? Did he have any house  
elves? Lupin queried.  
  
Dobby not know Mr. Vachel's names. House elves no talk  
to Dobby. House elves turn back on Dobby. Big house,  
many rooms. Many wizards come and go. Mr. Potter talk   
with many wizards. Mr. Vachel say bad things about   
Professor Snape, Dobby lowered his eyes in shame. Lupin encouraged the elf to crawl up closer, to come where he could run his hand over his sad face.   
  
Mr. Vachel loves Harry? Lupin asked.   
  
Dobby not know love. Mr. Vachel say Mr. Vachel love Mr. Potter.  
Mr. Vachel say Professor Snape is evil. Dobby no like  
Mr. Vachel, the elf hissed. Snape stirred at the sound.  
  
Dobby? Are you ok? Snape murmured, eyes still closed. The elf lay his head against the drowsy man's shoulder. An eye slipped open.  
  
  
Dobby sad, Professor Snape, was all the elf said. The wizard moved slightly, looking confused. He reached out to comfort the elf then looked up at Lupin.  
  
he started to ask when he remembered the afternoon and became ashamed. Snape curled away from his friend ducking his head down. Lupin pulled him back up tight against his chest.  
  
Severus, it's ok. You've been sick and Dobby is worried, Lupin soothed.   
Just rest. Dr. James will be here soon.  
  
With a shuddery sigh Snape settled back against his old lover. Lupin simply ran his hand up and down his back while Dobby curled close. When Black came back into the room he looked at first surprised and then amused at the huddle of wizards and elf.  
  
Dr. James will be here within the hour. He wants you, Black touched Snape's head gently,  
to have a cool bath and get into bed. He'll bring some  
fresh potions for you. The Potions Master sniffed delicately before opening his eyes. He had no fresh potions for anything in the house. Making Lupin's wolfsbane potion had been all that he could handle, making potions for fevers, ulcers or headaches was out of the question.  
  
Carefully Snape stood up from the lounge, albeit clearly shaky on his feet. Black quickly put a supporting arm around his waist and held him.  
  
Let's get you down to the washroom. Remus can help you bathe   
and I'll find your sleep shirt and get the bed ready, Ok? Black asked. He wanted to help the Potions Master, but he felt Lupin would be more comforting. Lupin moved ahead to start the water while Black and Snape trailed behind.  
  
Nearly there, Severus. Sounds like Remie's all ready for   
you, Black encouraged. Now that his secret was out Snape didn't bother hiding how weak and sick he was. At the washroom door he was passed over to Lupin and quickly divested of his clothing. Then encouraged his friend to settle into the cool tub. Snape shivered, gritting his teeth. His mind knew beyond a doubt the cold water would help lower his fever. His body, on the other hand, wanted to bolt!  
  
I know it feels cold, but you have a fever, Lupin soothed as he watched a very shaky Snape gather up soap and wash cloth to clean himself. Lupin could count ribs on the long, lean body. He managed to refrain from helping knowing Snape's preference for taking care of himself.  
  
He did get to help Snape out of the tub and towel dry. Sitting in the tub was fine, standing up was not. Even Snape recognized he was unstable on his feet. Wrapped in a large bath sheet Lupin helped him down the hall to the bedroom where an agitated Black waited. As soon as they crossed the threshold the animagus tooled his face into a friendly smile and held out the sleep shirt.   
  
With a tired sigh Snape dropped his towel and slipped into the long shirt.   
  
Ok, Sev, come lie down, Black had turned back the covers in preparation. A charm would keep the sheets cool.   
  
I don't understand why I'm going to rest here. I have my  
own bed you know, Snape balked at the last. Black gently prodded the obviously exhausted wizard towards the bed. Again the Potions Master simply stopped and stared wearily at the inviting sheets.  
  
I need to be in control, you know that Severus! I really am the  
perfect Gryffindor, Black teased as he turned Snape around and lowered him down between the sheets. He was still too warm. The animagus backed off and let his mate fuss over the Potions Master.  
  
Master Sirius? Dobby's shy voice sounded at the door.   
Dobby need Master Sirius to help Dobby in the kitchen. With a parting smile Black left the room. Lupin pulled covers up and sat in a chair next to the bed. He pulled close and began smoothing back messy strands of hair.  
  
Sirius is a bit of a control freak, eh? Lupin teased. A smile flitted over Snape's lips.  
  
Oh, is he? I hadn't noticed, Snape managed to reply as sleep tugged at him. Lupin continued to feather his hair back reminding him of years before when the werewolf looked after him. Maybe if he just closed his eyes he could pretend they were still together for a few minutes.  
  
Oh, yes, the silly fool likes to think he runs the show but you and  
I know who's really in control, Lupin ran his fingers up and down his face just so, remembering how his old lover loved simple touches. Yes, Snape knew exactly who was in charge; it had never been the Potions Master, either.  
  
Lulled by the soft words and gentle touches Snape dozed.  
  
  
Dr. James quietly came into the room a scant ten minutes later. The letters Black had shared with him angered him. Snape had done nothing to earn such abuse! The Healer took a deep breath centering himself before going to his patient. Lupin shifted out of his chair.  
  
Why don't you go join Sirius and give me some time to focus  
on Severus? the doctor suggested quietly. Lupin thought to disagree, but the look on Barnes' face was stern. Silently he left the room.  
  
Sirius was sitting at the kitchen table sipping tea while Dobby worked on piling scones and bisquits on a small tray. A few parchments were spread out on the table top.  
  
Remus, read these over, Sirius said abruptly, stacking the parchments in order. Curious, Lupin began scanning the half-dozen letters. But soon the curiosity became alarm and then incredulity.  
  
Siri, these two aren't Harry's. The writing is his, but the  
flow of the words isn't. It's like someone else dictated it  
and Harry wrote it, Lupin said. Black looked grim.  
  
My thoughts exactly. But I want to know if Harry's doing  
this because he feels this way or if this Vachel is influencing  
him somehow, Sirius growled.  
  
Harry seems to be fine, just misguided. I still think Vachel  
is overly jealous, Lupin stated quietly.   
You could go to France... if you really think it's necessary. Black looked back over the letters and scowled.  
  
I know I probably should go, but I hate to leave Severus at this   
point. All the letters accuse him of either abusing or harassing   
me. That's absolute rubbish, the exact opposite of the truth!   
He's been more open and pleasant than I'd ever had thought him  
capable of being, Black said, making his decision.  
We need to stay here until he's better then I can go.  
  
  
  
Master Sirius, Master Remus, Dr. James said come. Master   
Severus is sleeping, Dobby's large eyes peered over the table at them. Sirius gathered the parchments and tucked them into his pocket.  
  
Thank you Dobby, he said quietly standing up. Lupin followed close behind. The house elf bounced around them, trying to settle his nerves. With a gentle smile Lupin managed to put a calming hand on the elf's shoulder.  
  
You're a good elf, Dobby, Lupin murmured.  
  
They found Barnes sorting powders on the night stand. Snape was curled up deeply asleep, his hair obscuring his face. Lupin carefully sat on the bed next to his friend and smoothed his hair back.  
  
Well, Dr. James? Black asked abruptly. He was worried about the Potions Master and it caused very mixed feelings. Barnes finished his sorting and pushed back into the chair looking at both wizards.  
  
As you deduced, Sirius, he has an ulcer. That I took  
care of and I've left a potion to give him daily to keep his  
stomach settled, Barnes indicated the box of packets for the week. He watched as Lupin ran his hand soothingly over the sleeping wizard who sighed and settled further against the pillow.  
He is very run down; those letters and confrontations have  
not helped. You will be able to shield him? He needs to   
rest completely without stress.  
  
We will take care of him, Dr. James. We've discussed the  
situation and we'll both stay here until he feels better, Black affirmed. Barnes gave the animagus a very measuring look.  
  
Pardon me for being frank, Sirius, but you have not exactly been   
known to care for Severus at all, the Healer commented and turned his gaze to Lupin. Black stared at Dr. James in stunned silence.  
You will be here Remus? the Healer continued. Black blushed slightly.  
  
Contrary to what everyone has come to expect from me, Black said stiffly,  
I do care for Severus. I thought we'd reached... well, reached an   
understanding of sorts in the past year.  
  
Yes, Dr. James. They have been working on their mutual  
hatred and have come to respect one another, Lupin said in his mate's defense. Still the doctor looked a bit suspicious.  
  
Severus needs more than a little respect at this point, Remus.  
He's going to need a lot of understanding and kindness!  
But, the Healer looked Black right in the eye challenging him,  
I will _trust_ you both. I will also be back tomorrow to start  
a series of strengthening potions and to be sure he's  
resting comfortably, Barnes said firmly. He finished packing up his bag and shrank it, tucking it into a pocket. Sirius watched as the Healer lovingly tugged covers up and kissed Snape on the forehead.  
  
Sleep child, he murmured. Standing up he turned to leave.  
I'll stop by and tell Albus what has happened. Perhaps he  
can help figure out why Harry is behaving so poorly.   
  
Black led him out of the room while Lupin sat next to the bed.  
  
  
  
Snape woke hours later. His stomach growled menacingly but there was none of the accompanying pain he'd come to know. He peered down in the dark wondering why it didn't hurt. Relief flowed through him.  
  
*I think I will go raid the pantry* Snape thought to himself. But as soon as he moved, no, _tried_ _to move_, he nearly panicked. Some one, at the least, was holding him down. Panic rising, he began to struggle to get away.   
  
Hands. There were hands on him, grasping at him. Unable to control himself Snape whimpered. They found him. They would hurt him. He suddenly went limp overwhelmed by fear. The knowledge had been destroyed was completely wiped out in one moment of pure panic.  
  
Severus? What's wrong? the very sleepy voice of Lupin wafted over the man as he continued to shut down.  
  
You're safe, Severus, Black said, slightly more awake. He remembered many nights waking just like this, knowing he was going to die. Swallowing his own fears and memories Black turned slightly towards Snape.  
  
Severus? It's ok, you're at home!, Lupin said urgently, seeing the Potions Master's eyes begin to roll up showing the whites. It was Black that sat up and dragging Snape with him.  
  
Severus! Severus Snape! the animagus said sharply. The Potions Master suddenly drew in a shuddering breath and began to focus on his surroundings.  
  
Snape barely whispered. The werewolf snugged close to him and gently pushed sweaty hair out of his face.  
  
Yes, Sev, we're here. Sshh, it's Remie and Sirius. You've been a little sick, Lupin soothed. Snape leaned against the soft touch and then looked up at his pillow'.  
  
Hi, Sev, Black murmured gently, his face full of concern. The frightened wizard calmed, breath evened out as his companions soothed him further. In a bizarre way he felt very safe with his old enemy holding him close. Lupin moved and placed his hand on Snape's stomach. The ill wizard's stomach rumbled loudly.  
  
the werewolf asked with a chuckle.  
  
Snape admitted sheepishly.  
  
Any pain? Black asked. He placed his hand just above his mate's to scan the empty stomach. Snape shook his head instead of trusting speech. He hadn't been close to anyone but Albus; and since he'd left Hogwarts his time with his mentor had been greatly curtailed. Of course, Harry had been close during the end of the war and after. But that relationship had been tempered with the knowledge he had to be the strong one in their relationship, the protector. Here, between his old lover and Black, he didn't have to be strong. He gave in to the closeness and feeling safe. Black actually shifted him against his shoulder and chuckled warmly  
  
Well, if you're hungry I'm sure Dobby would love to make  
you something to eat! Lupin said cheerfully.  
  
Let's help you up and we can go to the kitchen, Black said soothingly. The animagus turned and moved to the edge of the bed, taking Snape with him. Lupin moved around the bed to help him stand up.  
  
Moonlight shimmered through the large windows. It was a about a week before the full and Snape wondered how he'd manage to brew the wolfsbane potion for his friend. He'd started preparing ingredients but it needed to be simmered two full days. Lupin nudged him from his contemplation.  
  
Come, Sev, maybe the loo first? Sirius will go see to our   
tea, Lupin smiled softly taking the wizard's arm. Lupin managed to get him to the washroom and allow him complete his ablutions with minimal interference. The two wizards then continued out to the kitchen, Snape leaning heavily on the werewolf.  
  
Dobby was busy, bouncing about the stove and counter. Black crossed the room and simply picked Snape up, carrying him to the table. The Potions Master tried to glare but was too tired to bring up its full effect. In any case, no one in the room, including Dobby, seemed to notice.   
  
Soon a hot cuppa blackberry tea was nestled in his hands. The smell of chicken and a little rosemary began to fill the room. Dobby was chittering a tune to himself happy to be cooking for his Professor.  
  
As he sat being fussed over, Snape tried to work out the subtle and not so subtle changes in his home. Remus had always been protective of him, well before they were lovers. Even back in the old days when pranks turned bad. It was Lupin who'd step in them when things got out of hand. It was Lupin who'd get help for Snape when Black was done with his mischief.  
  
Yes, it was easy to understand Lupin. Definitely the alpha male now, even though Black was stronger.   
  
And Black: the promise the two old enemies made to Dumbledore to put their hatred aside had finally become reality with the downfall of Voldemort and the animagus' subsequent residence at the manor. But even the understanding between them seemed to have changed over the past few weeks now that Harry had gone. Snape's drowsy mind turned over the notion of the alpha female of the triad.   
  
Not an adequate definition. In the pack' they'd formed he knew Lupin was alpha; he certainly deferred to Lupin in many cases as did Black. But he certainly couldn't say Black was higher up than him. No, Black was Lupin's chosen mate but he was chosen too, after a fashion. A smile quirked his lips as he sipped tea.  
  
What are you smiling about Sev? Lupin asked, curious to a fault.  
  
I _must_ be sick, Snape snorted, I'm thinking of us as though   
we were a pack of wolves. Black raised an eyebrow at this.  
  
Oh, and you're alpha? he teased gently, but he was interested all the same.  
  
No, Remie's always been alpha, Snape said starting to lie his head on his arms. Black snorted and received a glare from his mate. The animagus caught himself ducking his head in submission.   
  
Dobby has snack for Professor Snape, the house elf beamed proffering a plate. His quick movements and happy voice broke into the somewhat unsettling conversation. Snape looked at the offering and was very pleased.  
  
Thank you Dobby, he said happily accepting the plate of chicken and dumplings. Comfort food.  
  
Dobby happy. Dobby love to cook for Professor Snape, the elf said, grinning as Snape patted him on the shoulder. With a spring he jumped to the counter.  
Dobby clean up. Master Sirius or Master Remus wants foods? the elf asked.  
  
None for me, thank you. Although... a few of your sugared bisquits? Lupin asked. Smiling at his mate's sweet tooth, Black declined anything to eat.  
  
Black suspected this goopy chicken and lumpy gravy stuff was something the Potions Master actually enjoyed. Still, it was good to watch Snape finally eat. Dobby kept peeking over at his Professor Snape while he washed dishes. The animagus realized that, based on old feelings, the entire scene should have bothered the him. Instead, it was rather sweet Black suddenly busied himself with his tea cup rather than say something maudlin.  
  
*damn! I feel comfortable here with _him,_* Black smirked at the thought. He looked at Lupin who raised a questioning eyebrow but asked nothing while he prodded Snape to eat his fill. Maybe _he_ was the alpha female, Black thought. This caused Black to snort drawing Snape's attention to him along with Lupin's.  
  
Dare I ask? Snape drawled out, managing slight sneer.   
  
Just contemplating who's the Alpha Female, Black shared with a chortle.  
  
Snape answered matter of factly, although not for  
breeding purposes. Now Lupin blushed and snickered followed by Black.  
I really am delirious with these wild flights of thought, the Potions Master grumbled. It was Black who raised a gentle hand to Snape's forehead.  
  
Well, you are rather warm. Didn't Dr. James leave something   
for his fever Remie? Black asked. His mate nodded.  
  
I'll get it, Lupin said and scurried off to the bedroom. Snape looked up at Black gathering up the courage to speak without breaking down.  
  
Really, Sirius, you can go to your godson's. I know that it   
isn't pleasant living with me, Snape said quietly, setting down his fork. He didn't want to lose his only human companionship, but he knew they shouldn't have to stay and suffer him.  
  
Black could read the defeat in the wizard's eyes and hunched shoulders. He knew the letters and Harry's two visits had thoroughly demoralized the Potions Master. It did seem like everything the wizard had done for the cause of the Light and Dumbledore had cost him terribly. gods, he'd been the primary reason Voldemort was dead and yet all the glory, including the Order of Merlin First Class, had gone to Harry. The enormity of the realization was crushing.  
  
Black said quietly, taking Snape's limp hand and pulling himself closer.  
Severus, I enjoy being with you. A year ago I'd have agreed   
with you and left. But over the year I've learned that you are  
not evil incarnate, Black felt something blossom inside his chest.  
  
You are an honorable man, he said with new-found conviction.  
You've struggled for years making amends for one bad choice.   
One. gods, I've made hundreds and I'm not shunned the way you   
are. Snape's head had bowed low over the table as the weight of his life drew him down.  
  
You made forgivable mistakes. I did not, Snape murmured. Black suddenly felt his heart ache for the Potions Master. Before he could settle firmly into the despair and depression that threatened to bury him Black gathered him up onto his lap. Folded him close and rocked the rigid body.  
  
Severus, one mistake, one, when you were but a child. And  
years making more than up for it. You are forgiven, Black said gently, kissing his forehead. Continuing to rock, a soothing hand running over the now relaxing back. Snape finally rested his head against the broad shoulder of his one-time enemy with a shuddering sigh.  
  
That was where Lupin found them, Snape nearly asleep in Black's arms. He mixed the fever powder in a bit of tea and coerced the ill wizard into quaffing it. Then watched as Snape closed his eyes and leaned back against Black.   
  
Let's get back to bed, hmmm? Black murmured. Using a small levitation spell he stood up from the table bringing Snape with him.  
  
Snape didn't balk at their bed this time, allowing himself to be slipped under cool covers before being surrounded by his companions. He was very drowsy and wondered if Dr. James had put a sleeping draught in with the fever powder. He felt Lupin gather him close while Black curled against his back murmuring soft words of sleep into his ear. The animagus' hand ran gently circles over his shoulder and back.  
  
Snape's last feeling was one of incredible peace. He felt, at that moment, he belonged there, between those two men, and no where else in the world.  



	3. Chapter 3: Explanations & Confessions

Title: When Harry Left Severus  
rating: R for adult themes including male/male relationships.   
  
Chapter 3 - Explanations & Confessions  
by: Raven Dancer  
  
disclaimer: All characters belong to J.K. Rowling except for the Drs. Barnes, Daniel Murphy and Beryl. I receive no monetary compensation for these works.  
  
  


**** ~ ****  
  


Black woke to the twinkling blue eyes of Albus Dumbledore looking down at him. It was quite an eerie feeling; he'd had no warning whatsoever and jerked upright wondering if the wards had been compromised.  
  
Severus's wards always allow me through. Dobby is making  
some tea, Dumbledore said with a satisfied grin.   
  
Do you always know what I'm thinking? Black groaned.  
  
Not always. Seeing you in bed with Severus curled tightly   
in your arms has me a bit confused, the Headmaster admitted.  
Although Remus snugged up close behind doesn't surprise  
me at all.  
  
Black glanced at his companions.   
  
To be honest, Albus, it confuses me, too. But I am not upset  
by it, the Animagus admitted.  
He is sick, more than a little sad and I can't say that I blame  
him at all. Hearing voices Lupin stretched and opened his eyes.  
  
Good morning Remus, Dumbledore said warmly. The waking man smiled.  
  
Hullo Albus! Severus will be pleased to see you, Lupin yawned.  
  
Dumbledore sat near the bed and spoke quietly waiting to see if Snape would wake on his own. After nearly ten minutes Black grimaced.  
  
Maybe you could hold Sev? My bladder is demanding attention, the animagus admitted sheepishly.  
  
I would love to, Dumbledore grinned and immediately levitated his sleeping friend and his covers. A Second charm transfigured the chair to hold the two of them together.  
Go on and get your day going gentlemen. I'll watch over  
Severus for the time being.   
  
Dumbledore happily arranged Snape comfortably against him. He'd done this scores of times over their long friendship when the Potions Master had returned injured or had become ill. He'd even managed to curl up with the wizard for no reason at all on a few occasions.  
  
Slowly he ran his fingers through unruly hair. It had grown longer during his convalescence and less greasy since he wasn't brewing many potions. Snape twitched beneath his touch.   
  
Severus? Child? Dumbledore called to him gently. The wizard called stretched and sighed before opening his eyes.  
  
Snape responded in hopeful, longing voice.  
  
Of course, child, Albus responded kissing Snape's forehead affectionately.  
  
Snape began happily. I'm sorry I pulled you away  
from your work, Albus, but I'm very glad you're here. Dumbledore continued to run a soothing hand over the Potions Master's back spreading warmth in the wake.  
  
Severus! You never pull me away from anything! You know I  
love being right here. Minerva needs to take over more of  
the Headmaster's duties. It's all hers next fall, Dumbledore replied with a small grin.  
Then I get to come bother you all the time. Snape stilled.  
  
I though you were going to live at your cottage or the beach  
house, he said hesitantly. Dumbledore chuckled.  
  
I don't know exactly where _we'll_ be, Severus, but I won't be  
able to live alone. I am a social creature, used to having lots  
of people around, he resumed carding Snape's hair.  
I have been hoping that you'll let me live with you. I want to   
sell my cottage. Although I'll keep the beach house. You like  
it there, don't you? Snape wriggled with waking excitement.   
  
Oh, yes! I love your beach house, the Potions Master said with growing hope. Not to be alone. To have _Albus_ with him.   
  
Then the tears started. Dumbledore expected them and simply pulled his friend a little closer, below his chin and cuddled him.  
  
You know I've always loved you, my child. I have planned for  
years to retire with you even if you were still working at   
Hogwarts. You are my family, the older wizard admitted. Which caused Snape's tears to flow a little faster.  
  
I, I guess I've always known deep inside you cared for me. I   
care for you so much. I've... I've been afraid of being alone   
lately, he confessed very quietly.  
  
Remus and Sirius like living with you, Dumbledore pointed out.  
They might like to share a home with us.  
  
They feel pity. It has been very hard wanting their presence,   
their voices if not their touch. I have so many memories of Remus...   
But I want them to go join Harry where they'll be happy, Snape admitted. Dumbledore considered all he'd seen the past year.  
  
It's not pity, child. I know Remus still loves you. Sirius has   
watched you and has discovered you really aren't evil and in  
fact are a worthy person, Dumbledore pointed out. Snape sighed and shut his eyes.  
  
I still love Remus. It's, it's been very hard to be around him,  
Albus. I have to control myself, he began.  
  
You've been using potions or charms? the Headmaster asked quickly, knowing exactly what Snape meant.  
  
Can't brew much but that charm works. I used it sometimes when   
I was with Harry. I never wanted to hurt him but I'd find myself  
wanting Remus, and, and I'd, Snape tried to explain.  
  
and you'd transfer your desire for Remus to Harry. I understand,   
Severus. You knew you couldn't keep Harry, Albus said quietly.  
  
I love Harry, but not as a mate. He needs to be out in the world.  
The world needs him out there, too. If he'd stayed with me he   
would never be the wizard he has the potential to become, Snape sighed.  
I want Remie around, but I also want him to go away with Sirius   
and be happy. I only cause friction. When I hear them argue it's   
always about me.  
  
You still want Remus? Dumbledore asked gently.  
  
he admitted.  
  
the Headmaster probed a bit.  
  
Harry was just a moment of desperate passion at a horrible  
place in time. It seemed like love, passionate and exciting, Snape stumbled over his confession.  
I really do love him, but not as a mate. Once we were separated  
I knew he'd find other friends, lovers. He's a very charismatic  
person.   
  
It was good you sheltered him, Severus. Harry would have been   
eaten alive by the media and the wizarding world after   
Voldemort's death, Dumbledore pointed out.  
  
Well, I suppose. Although it also kept me from being alone. Ever  
since that night, Snape shuddered at the memory of the final battle.  
I have not been able to care for myself.  
  
You will come back to Hogwarts when Sirius and Remus leave, the older wizard said soothingly. This elicited a small smile as Snape settled more comfortably against his mentor.  
  
Thank you, Albus. I love Harry, but not as a spouse or lover. I   
was a little sad, but mostly happy to see him go off to France.   
No, the difficulty in letting Harry go is that Remus will be gone   
soon. Again, tears threatened once more.  
  
I'm sorry Severus, Albus said gently, knowing there was no way to compensate for that pain.  
  
Don't be. Remus needs to be with Sirius. They are mates, I  
understand that. But, and his voice dropped slightly, But I  
still love him, want him. It is exquisite torture being with Remus  
every day and not be able to touch him. When he touches me  
I... I can't...   
  
A sniffle rose from the Potions Master as his voice abandoned him for the moment. Dumbledore's comforting hands ran over his back.   
  
The damned thing is I'm so happy for him and Sirius to have one  
another after all those years, but it hurts, too. I, I lost a part of   
my heart when Remie left and I never found it again, Snape said. He looked up at his mentor and studied his face, a shaky hand came up from the blankets to touch the older wizard's cheek.  
  
I'm so pleased that you want to stay with me. It is more than  
I dared dream for. I thought that I'd be alone soon. It has been  
crushing me, thinking of being alone, a last confession.   
  
Child, I am delighted you want me to be around. When Remus and   
Sirius go you will come to Hogwarts for awhile. You can organize   
some of my books and papers for my move, Dumbledore said.   
It would help me immensely. Plus his child wouldn't be alone.  
  
Snape curled closer, too overwhelmed to speak. Albus had always loved him, even when he wasn't lovable at all.   
  
A movement at the door suddenly caught Dumbledore's attention and he realized that they'd had an audience; someone had been listening and he wondered how much had been heard. He decided it didn't really matter as neither Black or Lupin would tease Snape. Maybe it would help they understand they needed to move on and let Snape alone. With a sigh he wrapped himself tightly around his child and rock slowly.  
  
  
  
A thoroughly shocked Black and stunned Lupin retreated to the kitchen ostensibly to check on breakfast. They moved in silence, both feeling various levels of confusion and shame.  
  
Remie? You never said anything about... Black started not knowing how to ask.  
  
You knew we were lovers while you were in Azkaban, Lupin said in tired voice.  
  
Yes, but he still loves you, Black replied tentatively. Lupin looked sick at heart.  
  
I didn't know. He's always been good at hiding his feelings, Lupin reported. He sank down at the kitchen table. Black sat immediately next to him and pulled close, reaching for his hand.  
  
You, you never told me how you came to be with Severus, the animagus prodded gently.   
  
I couldn't tell you because you were jealous. You never liked   
Severus and when we first got back together any mention of him   
sent you into an angry fit, Lupin pointed out. Black digested this.  
  
Yes, it did. But over the last few years you've gotten across  
to me that Severus isn't the greasy bastard I'd hated. During the   
past year with Voldemort's death and the long convalescence I've   
seen for myself that he isn't a monster. He does have a sarcastic   
streak a mile wide and he's very, very private. He certainly does  
not like to be touched... Black mused. That certainly could be explained if Snape still loved Lupin. The contact would be difficult to bear.  
  
I still love him. I still dream of him, Lupin admitted quietly. Black wasn't surprised. He just stroked his mate's hand gently.  
  
How did you two ever get together? Black asked curiously. Lupin drew in a deep breath.  
  
It wasn't an easy beginning to say the least, Lupin sighed. He glanced at his mate questioningly.  
How much do you really want to know?  
  
As much as you'll share, Black responded immediately. Lupin nodded.  
  
Then let's have Dobby make tea and breakfast for us, Lupin said. The elf happily took their orders and got to work heating a skillet.  
  
You have to understand, it was very confusing and emotionally  
crushing when Voldemort fell the first time, Lupin began, turning to face Black. He wanted to be able to read the body language and facial expression of his mate as he spoke.  
  
I was at James and Lily's house after they died. Albus asked me  
to look through their papers before turning the house over to   
their families. There were some sensitive parchments from the   
war were still there, Lupin said.   
Albus couldn't help, he was at the ministry. I found out later he   
was getting Severus out of Azkaban.  
  
Black shuddered at the memories of the cold cell. Lupin stroked his face.   
  
He was there about a week. The ministry extracted promises  
from Albus to contain Severus, keep him at Hogwarts year-round  
for a few years. Albus agreed to everything just to get  
him out of that forsaken place, Lupin stopped at looked at his mate.  
gods, Siri, if we'd known we'd have come for you. You can't  
begin to believe how crushed Severus was when he found that  
Pettigrew was alive. Black gathered Lupin into his arms and held the now crying werewolf.   
  
It's ok, Remie. I'm free. It's because of you I'm here and   
healthy once more, Black soothed. Lupin relaxed then pulled back as Dobby set out tea mugs and a hot pot of earl gray tea on the table. Black poured out two mugs and added sugar to both then added a splash of milk to Lupin's.  
  
Well, I came back to Hogwarts the same day Albus made it back   
with Sev. They hadn't just left him to the dementors: they'd  
managed to break ribs and his arm. There was nothing gentle  
about his week. I ended up helping clean and heal him. Then I  
sat with him for weeks because Albus was in and out. He had  
the worst nightmares, Lupin shuddered at the memory.  
  
So Albus threw you two together then, Black commented.  
  
Yes. Albus knew that I was devastated; I lost all my closest   
friends and you, my mate. Severus, for all he'd done for the   
ministry, all the spying, was treated worse than many of the  
other death eaters, Lupin said.  
  
I was locked away but no one beat me, Black said with a shudder.  
  
Anyway, after a few months we discovered we could work   
together, could even enjoy one another. Sev researched and   
found the wolf's bane potion and before the year was up he'd   
made a working solution. I was so thrilled that I was no longer   
dangerous I threw myself on him. We wrestled around on Albus'   
study floor and then he kissed me, Lupin blushed slightly at the memory.   
Then... well, let's say Albus decided he should go for a walk on  
the school grounds after locking the door securely,   
  
So then you lived happily ever after? Black teased.  
  
With Severus? he snorted as he shook his head with a smile.   
We were happy with each other. We certainly fit together well.   
In fact, he brought me out to his manor and let me have free reign   
over the gardens and most of the house. I couldn't live at the   
school, but we were together most weekends and holidays. Albus   
came out often, too. Life was peaceful, happy, until Quirrel came   
and with him Voldemort.  
  
Momentarily lost in thought Black began dishing up omelet and bacon for himself and Lupin. The smell of food brought the werewolf back to the present.  
  
We didn't see each other as much. Albus had me working, some  
research, a little spying. But we still loved each other through  
all the twists and turns. Then you came back, Lupin rubbed his face.  
  
He didn't take the shrieking shack too well, did he? Black asked lightly.  
  
Not at first. Severus felt so betrayed. He was absolutely   
furious. And he wouldn't let even Albus near him. He certainly  
threatened me. Albus literally bound him to a chair before he'd   
listen to him. I took veritaserum and answered every question he  
asked me. All of them. I couldn't blame him; I was in absolute  
shock Peter was alive and you were innocent. That was the last  
night we made love. The next day Albus woke us early and we  
decided I should go and be with you. Severus pulled on his  
coldest mask and went down to the dungeons to spread the  
word I was a werewolf. The rest I think you know, Lupin concluded, fork pushing eggs around.  
  
Everything except this. Remus, do you love him? Do you want  
him? I can go... Black said carefully, his own heart hurting. The response was immediate. Lupin dropped his fork and dove for his mate.  
  
NO! NO! gods Sirius, I love you! You are my mate! he tore out.  
  
But Severus? Black held him close.  
  
I, I don't want to lose him, either. I didn't know he still loved  
me. I, I love him too, Lupin sobbed.  
  
Well, Black mused, this was shaping up to be a very tangled mess all around. Worse yet, he couldn't think of any reason to leave. He should feel threatened that his mate was attracted to Snape. But he couldn't. The jealousy died without a flicker. The Potions Master had been honorable straight down the line.   
  
And he deserved happiness just as much as Black did.   
  
Remie, let's just let it rest awhile. I'm not in any great hurry to  
move to France, Black said.  
  
But, but you heard Severus. It hurts him being so close to me, Lupin whined.  
  
Let it rest. We know how he feels now, don't we? Black asked very patiently.  
And we know you still love him, too. Heck, I think I don't hate  
him at all and the thought of you loving him doesn't upset me. Lupin pulled back and looked at his mate wide-eyed.  
  
It doesn't? the werewolf quivered.  
  
No. Of course, I also don't want to go in there and proclaim my  
undying love either. Let it rest. Give us all some time. You and  
I will take care of Severus until he's on even footing and then   
explore the questions again, Black gently kissed his mate who responded with gratitude. Finally they settled back into their chairs and looked over their cooling breakfast.  
  
  
A few minutes later Dumbledore appeared with a rather sick Potions Master leaning on his shoulder. Black was up and to the door quickly giving his considerable support.  
  
Thanks Sirius, Snape murmured.   
  
You're warm again. Remus? I think we need another fever  
draught, Black's request sent Lupin scurrying out to the bedroom.  
  
  
Breakfast was quiet, but at least companionable. Snape ate lightly, drank his potion, and was returned to bed to sleep. Dumbledore sat near reading a thick book. Black and Lupin went outside to work in the vegetable garden.  
  
We're going to have to speak with Albus, Black said as he wiped the sweat off his forehead.  
Let him know we want to stay to care for Severus.  
  
He's going to be very protective Seri, he always has been, Lupin replied.  
  
Let me take care of it dear heart, Black hugged his very sweaty mate. Lupin took advantage of the closeness to kiss then nibble the animagus' lips. The ensuing activity neither helped nor harmed the garden. Although Black and Lupin both agreed afterwards they should have moved into the shade. As it was Dr. James could not suppress his laughter when he asked for an explanation of how they both got sunburned in several interesting places.  
  
  
  
  
True Gryffindor that he was Black not only convinced Dumbledore they wanted to stay and be with Snape, he received the older wizard's blessings. The merry twinkle in the older wizard's eyes caused the animagus to blush.  
  
Quit reading my mind! he growled.   
  
Dumbledore smirked. Then chuckled. The Headmaster returned to Hogwarts in a much better mood.  



	4. Chapter 4: Tearing Down

Title: When Harry Left Severus  
  
rating: R for adult themes including male/male relationships.   
  
Chapter 4 - Tearing Down  
by: Raven Dancer  
  
disclaimer: All characters belong to J.K. Rowling except for the Drs. Barnes, Daniel Murphy and Beryl. I receive no monetary compensation for these works.  
  
a/n: After reading reviews I just want to mention this fiction is not for me in that I am portraying Severus, Harry, Remus and Sirius as gay. I do this because it is a rebuttal piece in contrast to the many pieces written by other authors pairing Severus with Harry in a sexual relationship that becomes a permanent happily ever after scenario. I will not be writing any explicit sexual scenes past the cuddling/smooching type and a few ribald comments. Remember, the delete key and the back arrow key are your bestest friends if you don't like a story! If you want to discuss my departure from my norm feel free to email me.   
  
  


****~****  


Snape's fever continued for a few days then dwindled. A second bed was magicked into Lupin's and Black's bedroom so the patient was close by but not too close. Dr. James was pleased both with the improvement and the helpful animagus. Black took over most of the physical caring for the patient giving both his mate and Snape the distance they needed. When the full moon came Dr. James managed to produce an acceptable cauldron of wolf's bane potions with little fanfare.   
  
After a full ten days Snape was back up, albeit a bit shaky, wandering about the manor house. He split his time between the Morning Room and the study. He enjoyed both Black and Lupin being with him but when he broached the topic of their ultimate departure his friends changed the subject. Even the suggestion of visiting Harry for a few days was met with diversions. Still, Snape tried, worried something might be amiss with his young ex-lover. His visit had been very disconcerting to the Potions Master and the last few letters out of character.  
  
Snape finally did convince Black to pop' over for a quick visit.   
  
You really need to check up on him, Sirius. It is his first time  
being away from home so long, Snape had pressed.  
  
I know. But he writes to me often and seems happy, Black replied, not mentioning the occasional angry word about Snape.  
  
I would feel better if you'd go, even for lunch in Paris, Snape continued as he laid back on his lounge pulling his blanket closer. It was cool in the house. He'd considered asking Dobby to lay in a fire, but reached for another blanket instead. Black rose and took the blanket, deftly shaking it out and covering his friend.  
  
Black asked as he adjusted the covers.  
  
A bit. Perhaps a sidewalk cafe? You could walk along the  
Champs Elyees? Snape was worse than a terrier worrying a rat. Lupin laughed.  
  
Yes, Sirius, you need to go to lunch with your godson. Let's   
send an owl over now, Lupin's eyes sparkled with humor. Who knew double teaming his mate could be so fun?  
  
Black growled and shook his head. But he allowed them to coerce him into dashing off a quick parchment and giving it to a fast owl.   
  
The upshot of the entire tag-team was Black ended up in Paris with Harry and Vachel for a pleasant afternoon. Both were very happy to see him, although Harry was still slightly concerned about his godfather living with Snape. Black did his best to assure him all was well and that they were enjoying living on the manor. All in all it was a good visit and they ended their visit planning a longer stay at Vachel's home the following month.  
  
  
  
After returning from Paris Black, Lupin and Snape settled into the comfortable leisure of gardening, reading, talking and, for Snape, sleeping often. Cards were pulled out some evenings and on a few other nights Lupin coerced Snape into going out and telling them about the constellations. Dobby bounded about nearly underfoot but too sweet and considerate to get angry at. Knowing all Snape's favorite dishes didn't hurt either. The house elf loved cooking for his master.  
  
The only change to routine was Lupin received all owls. Dr. James had been insistent that Snape allow this one inconvenience. So the Potions Master did not receive the next missive from an irate Harry demanding he release Black immediately. Lupin wondered about the letter and shared it with his mate. Now Harry was insisting Snape had been holding Lupin hostage while Black was visiting in Paris.   
  
What should we do, Siri? Lupin asked, his voice painted with concern.  
  
I'll write him back, Black reached for a quill. I mean, we'll both  
be going out to Harry's place next week. I'll just assure him we're  
both well and to have the guest room ready. Lupin sighed as he watched his mate writing in his bold script.  
  
I suppose you're right, the werewolf said. We'll be there  
soon enough.  
  
We could even go a couple days early and surprise Harry, Black soothed his mate. I'll jot Albus a note and tell him we're dropping Severus off earlier. He won't mind. Lupin smiled and agreed. Although Harry was acting a bit strange, Snape still needed a lot of looking after. He knew Dumbledore loved taking care of his child.  
  
It was very easy for Vachel to convince Harry he needed to save his godfather from the batard graisse'. Especially when no reply came back to the young wizard. A shame that message fell into the hearth. Strange that it burned when there was no fire there. A shame, but not something to trouble his lover about. It made it that much easier to encourage his outraged lover to bring along a few friends just in case. Some very good friends...  
  
  
  
MASTER SIRIUS! MASTER REMUS! MR. POTTER IS BOTHERING THE  
PROFESSOR! Dobby shrieked as he ran out into the garden. Lupin looked up as Black leapt to his feet.  
  
What's wrong Dobby? Black asked grabbing the elf by the shoulder.  
  
Mr. Potter and Mr. Vachel come into Master Severus' room.  
They be yelling at him Master Sirius. Bad wizards come into   
Master Severus' room. Dobby is frightened, the elf squeaked out. Lupin was up on his feet and chasing after his mate into the house.  
  
They had barely cleared the first hall and were going towards Snape's Morning Room when Harry stopped them.  
  
Sirius! Let's go! Vachel is talking with Snape and keeping him  
busy so we can get you and Lupin out of here! Harry asserted.  
  
What do you mean, keeping him busy? Black demanded shaking off his godson's grasping hand.  
  
Just keeping him distracted until I found you, Harry said quickly.  
  
Remus and I both wrote and told you we were fine! For   
heaven's sakes, Harry, we're coming out next week, Black said trying to push past the younger wizard.  
  
A door opened and slammed shut in the distance. After a moment a slender, dark-haired wizard joined Harry.  
  
Are we ready to go mon amoureux? Vachel nuzzled Harry affectionately.  
  
No, we're not! Harry grumbled.  
  
We are not running away with you Harry! Sirius barked.  
  
What have you done to Severus? Lupin demanded trying to push around the younger men blocking the hallway.  
  
I have done nothing to that vile creature, Vachel shuddered as if the mere thought of touching Snape was disgusting beyond words.  
  
Harry whined, He can't hold you here against your will. Now Black became angry.  
  
SEVERUS IS NOT HOLDING US AGAINST OUR WILL YOU IDIOT! Black screamed.  
  
Did it ever occur to you WE LOVE SEVERUS?! Lupin added his own piece.  
  
The look of absolute shock on Harry's face confirmed the young wizard had never thought of that.  
  
You can't. You hate him. You've always hated him, Harry strangled out.  
  
I do not hate Severus Snape. You didn't either. WHAT THE HELL  
IS WRONG WITH YOU POTTER?! Black shrieked. He'd lost any semblance of patience for his godson. Harry stumbled backwards.  
  
I, I just thought he was keeping you here, like me, Harry said in confusion.  
  
Severus didn't you here. He gave you a home and had  
to force you to leave, Lupin pointed out.  
  
I don't have time for this. LET ME THROUGH! Black snarled and shoved both Vachel and Harry against opposite walls.  
  
Harry, we best go now, Vachel prodded his lover. Lupin growled and pushed by.  
  
Harry, mon amoureux! Now! They are so angry! Vachel begged. Harry allowed himself to be pulled down the hall to the fireplace in the kitchen.   
  
What about your friends? Harry looked at his lover in concern.  
  
They have already left, I am sure. They will meet us later, Vachel said quickly then kissed his lover hungrily on the lips.  
Let us go home, Harry. Floo powder was thrown on flames and the young lovers left.  
  
  
Down the hall both Black and Lupin were pounding on the Morning Room door. It was locked and magically sealed. The animagus' anger rose tenfold.  
  
Back off Remus, he hissed as he brought his wand out to bear.  
  
he commanded. The door shuddered under the powerful charm but did not budge.  
  
he raised his voice. The door shook violently, the wood splintered in places but it still held. Black looked at his mate; Lupin nodded his head. The werewolf pulled out his wand and stood firm.  
  
they shouted together. The door wrenched violently then collapsed in a pile of broken shards. Stepping gingerly over the refuse they entered the Morning Room.  
  
The first thing they saw were the remains of the huge windows overlooking the orchard. The glass had been smashed out, the glittering debris spread on the lawn beyond.   
  
Next was Severus' favorite lounge shredded and broken in a heap. As Lupin stepped nearer to the windows a pain-filled whimper rose from the far wall.  
  
Severus? Where are.... Black's voice trailed off as he saw where his friend was. He immediately turned and blocked Lupin's view.  
  
GO! Get me a clean blanket now! Black commanded and turned his lover out of the room with a push.   
Send Dobby! The tone of voice and glint in his eye made Lupin run. Black turned and move swiftly across the room.  
  
Against the far wall lie the Potions Master. By the position of his body he'd been struggling to reach his wand which had been set just out of reach. A manacle reminiscent of Filch's favored devices, anchored him firmly to the wall.   
  
Snape was frighteningly pale with the ghosts of bruises already blossoming on his exposed skin. But it was the blood that bothered Black most. Snape's nose was definitely broken and his jaw looked off. His robe was ripped showing broken skin underneath. Black quickly magicked the retraint off the poor wizard's arm.  
  
Severus? Can you hear me? Black knelt down afraid to touch the Potions Master.  
  
Snape slurred out.  
  
I'm going to touch you, just touch you. Let me see you Sev, Black said and very carefully he placed his hand on the wizard's chest. He heard Lupin come stumbling in the room and was glad the chain was gone. As it was his mate gasped before moving to kneel down on the far side of Snape.  
  
Severus? Remie and I need to take you to the clinic, ok? It's  
going to hurt a little, but I think it would be best to move you now  
instead of waiting for Dr. James, Black explained.  
  
You sure Sirius? Lupin asked quietly as he looked at the limp body.  
  
Yes, we need to get him there quickly, Black plucked the blanket from Lupin's hands and flicked it out. Carefully Snape was levitated onto the blanket, his once manacled arm moved down to his side. The edges were brought up and wrapped around the trembling body. A quick stiffening charm and the Potions Master was ready to be moved. The whimpering was heart wrenching, more so because both knew Snape was struggling not to cry out.  
  
Through the windows Remie. We can apparate just outside, and they gently pushed their fallen friend out into the sweet-smelling night air.  
  
Snape nearly gasped as he identified the fragrance. Trying to concentrate on anything but the pain.  
  
Yes it is, love, Lupin said with a catch in his voice.  
  
Dobby, quietly wringing his hands, followed the three wizards and stood shivering next to Black. The animagus looked at the pathetic creature then once more swiftly knelt down.  
  
Dobby? I need you to go to Hogwarts right now! Go find the  
Headmaster and tell him we're taking Severus to Dr. James at the  
clinic. You have to go to the Headmaster, Dobby! Black patiently explained his message once more and had the frightened elf repeat it to him. There was a resounding *crack* and Dobby was gone.  
  
Black stood and leaned over the stretcher, his hand ghosting over the poor wizard's hair. One eye struggled open and Black smile as best he could.  
  
We're going to apparate to Hogsmeade's clinic, Severus. We'll  
get you to to Dr. James right away, Black said and looked at Lupin.  
  
Hold on tight to Severus. You're going to have to concentrate   
and help me Remie, Black instructed his partner. Lupin nodded, no longer trusting his voice.  
  
They were gone for less than a minute when the first explosions rocked the manor.  
  
  
  
Dr. James Barnes was reading a journal in his office when he heard a minor disturbance outside his door. That escalated into a major disturbance by the time he'd opened the door. The scene that met him threw him off-balance. Severus Snape? But Voldemort was dead! Who'd want to hurt Snape?   
  
Sirius? What's wrong? Barnes moved to the stretcher and looked over the downed man.  
  
Beaten. Don't know how bad. They didn't have long, but, Black began haltingly.  
  
But long enough, Barnes finished for him. Have you contacted  
Albus?  
  
We sent Dobby, Black reported.  
  
Then let me get him into a room to scan and you two get ready  
to sit with Albus, the Healer said.   
  
Can I help? Lupin asked a little too urgently.  
  
In a little while, Remus, let me have a go at it first, Barnes said softly. Lupin felt Black pulling him into a hug while the Healer pushed the floating stretcher out of the lobby.  
  
The little while took longer than anyone could stand. Dumbledore and Dobby arrived within the first hour. The three wizards and house elf discussed everything that had happened. That took most of the second hour and still there was no word from the examining room.  
  
During the third hour Dumbledore tried to go in. The door refused to budge. Somehow a chair managed to crash against the door without any results.  
  
In the fourth hour the receptionist disappeared.   
  
They sent Dobby against the door. House elves were reputed to be able to get through magically locked doors. The clinic had elf-proof spells.  
  
By the fifth hour Lupin had removed every single response card from every single magazine in the lobby. Black had torn each one into small bits. Dumbledore turned each fragment to ash. Dobby moved as far away from the wizards as possible. They were upset (although they were nice to him when he couldn't get through the spelled door). He certainly wasn't going to tempt fate by cleaning up the ashes.  
  
Dumbledore was considering finding a muggle's fire ax while Black was looking at the possibility of wedging a piece of metal into the jamb when the door opened. Just opened and stayed open.   
  
Suspicious they all approached the door. It exposed the hallway that ran the length of the clinic. Dumbledore entered first followed by Lupin then Dobby and finally Black. They walked in line down past several shut doors. There was one door open and they entered.  
  
Barnes was seated with steepled fingers. Four chairs fanned out in front of him. With a nod the wizards sat down. Dobby chose to lean against Black's leg. The Healer did not wait for any questions.  
  
He is alive. He is in a coma. When they struck his face they   
broke his nose and his jaw. There is some swelling in the  
brain itself and we've put a cooling spell on the entire area to  
help reduce it. He has several cracked ribs and his entire groin  
is severely bruised and swollen. We've put cold packs there, but  
I can't assess the damage until it's reduced somewhat.  
I also can't repair his jaw or nose until he's out of the coma.  
We've tapped an IV for fluids, intubated him so he can breathe,  
attached an external urine bag and used a binding charm to hold  
his jaw and nose still. We're going to need all the help we can get   
watching him around the clock. He needs to be touched and   
talked to as much as possible, Barnes spoke softly.  
I don't know who did this, I don't know why they did this. All  
I know is Severus needs us to help him through. And Gentlemen?  
Severus will make it, the grim determination in his eyes did not brook any dissension.  
  
Where is he? Lupin asked finally. Barnes nodded towards a second door.  
  
We will arrange a schedule. Once he's woken from the coma and  
I've healed the breaks we can move him to your rooms Albus.  
He's always done best there, the Healer remarked. Dumbledore looked glassy-eyed. Barnes stood up and approached him.  
  
he called gently. Dumbledore looked up.  
  
I don't understand James. The wars are over. Voldemort is  
dead. Why would they hurt my child? Dumbledore said in a small, sad voice as tears started to fall. Before the wizard could dissolve into either rage or depression Dr. James knelt down and pulled him into his arms.  
  
Albus, it will be all right, he soothed. Now the tears fell in earnest.  
  
All right? How can it be all right? He's suppose to get to rest...  
To build up his strength... To finally get to enjoy his life... the headmaster trailed off in sobs.   
  
Jarred from his own shock Lupin pushed up and threw his arms around the older wizard effectively sandwiching him in between them. Black held back with Dobby pressed against his knee.  
  
There was movement at the door. A security wizard looked in and then waved down the hall. Suddenly Daniel Murphy, head of security at the ministry, walked in. His eyes swept the room and settled on Black.  
*He looks nervous,* Black thought as the officer moved carefully through the room pulling an empty chair up to his.  
  
Mr. Black can you tell me what has happened? Murphy asked very quietly. The wizard quickly outlined what had happened not bothering to protect his godson or lover.   
  
So Severus is here? He's alive? the officer pursued. Black wondered why the wizard seemed so forceful, his body tight with tension.  
  
Yes, Officer. Dr. James said that he's in a coma but he feels   
he will recover, Black said. He wondered why the wizard looked relieved.  
  
No one else at the house? Any house elves there? the officer pressed, sitting on the edge of his seat. gods, the wizard looked like he was going to shoot through the ceiling.  
  
No, it's just the three of us and Dobby. Harry left just   
before we got to Severus, Black stopped to stroke the elf's head gently.  
  
Murphy said. His look hardened. There is a further  
complication. Black froze. Did Harry get hurt?   
  
The manor has been completely destroyed. The dark mark  
was still hanging over it when I left, the officer said. Black's eyes widened.  
  
he gasped.  
  
Mr. Black, it has been leveled. There were reports of explosions,  
multiple, that shook the countryside around it and flames shooting  
high into the air. It is not much more than a pile of rubble and   
scorched stone, Murphy stated bluntly. Black looked with trepidation at the Healer now comforting Lupin as well as Dumbledore. He made a quick decision.  
  
Please, don't tell Albus and Remus yet. They're devastated as  
is and the Healer needs them to sit with Severus, Black pleaded. Murphy looked at the triad huddled together.   
  
I have your statement for now. I will need to interview Severus  
when he's able. I don't need to speak with Albus or Mr. Lupin   
at this time, Murphy murmured then turned his considerable attentions back to Black.  
  
But I will need to speak with Mr. Potter and his friend. I will  
also explain the situation to Dr. Barnes. He needs to be prepared  
for all eventualities, the officer finished. The animagus perked up immediately.  
  
You will speak with Harry? Black asked quickly.  
  
Yes, Mr. Black, I must. He was on the scene just before it the  
explosion. And given that his friends were in the room with  
Severus before he was apparently beaten... Murphy trailed off unwilling perhaps to admit the famous Harry Potter had culpability in the events.  
  
It's just that I'm worried about Harry. He's never been out on  
his own and this wizard he's fallen for seems ok. I went out over  
and met them for a few hours, but, the animagus hedged.  
  
But something doesn't feel right? Murphy nudged.  
  
Harry doesn't feel right. Remus and I both feel something is  
going on but we haven't been able to figure it out. We  
chanced upon some letters he sent Severus. Two of them  
didn't sound like Harry, Black admitted guiltily. It had been three weeks since he'd found them. The parchments had not been returned to Severus' drawer. They were in a safe under charms at the manor.   
  
These letters were at the manor? the officer asked. Realization dawned.  
  
gods. They were in a safe that Severus let me use for my   
private papers. I have spells on it but I don't know if it would  
survive the fire, Black said. All his papers showing he was free! Murphy grimaced.  
  
Well, it's too hot now. But if you can I will apparate out with you  
tomorrow afternoon. They might have survived. Severus had   
many special protections on his private papers. If not, I will issue   
you copies of your trial transcripts and whatever identification   
papers you and Mr. Lupin need, Murphy added seemingly as an afterthought. But Black knew the security wizard was reassuring him and the animagus appreciated the gesture.  
  
I will go with you tomorrow. Whenever you need me. I'll be   
here, Black said.  
  
By now Dumbledore had pulled himself together and helped Lupin do the same. All three were looking at the security wizard curiously. The two conferencing wizards stood to join the triad, Dobby firmly attached to Black's hand.  
  
Albus, I heard about Severus from Deputy Headmistress   
McGonagall. I came over to investigate the matter. Mr. Black  
has been very thorough in his debriefing so I won't have to   
speak with you or Mr. Lupin. I would like to see Severus if I may  
Dr. Barnes, the chief looked at the Healer. Black admired the slightly adjusted truth.   
  
He's in a coma Officer Murphy, so all you can do is see him. Come  
along, I was just about to go over his needs with his friends, Dr. Barnes said, motioning the growing group to follow.  
  
The first thing they noticed was the clinic's receptionist, Stacy, seated by Snape's bed holding his hand and talking softly. She stood and quietly left the room at Dr. Barnes' nod. Dumbledore immediately slipped into her place and picked up Snape's hand, gently running his fingers over the back.  
  
I'm here child. I'm here, he murmured then turned his attention back to Dr. Barnes.  
  
The Healer carefully went over Snape's injuries and explained about the coma the wizard had slipped into. The cooling charms were all he could apply at the moment. In addition he stressed the need to continue to talk, not necessarily to Snape, but to discuss various things that had happened of interest. Even in a coma Snape would be aware of them; many patients woke up remembering snippets of conversations and music while they were out.   
  
Plans were made to owl the school and invite any staff that might want to help. There were two extra beds in the room as well as several chairs to accommodate the visitors. The clinic and staff were ready.  
  
Through it all Snape lie still his chest scarcely moving with each inhalation...


	5. Chapter 5: Enlightened Vigils

Title: When Harry Left Severus  
  
rating: R for adult themes including male/male relationships.   
  
Chapter 5 - Enlightened Vigils  
by: Raven Dancer  
  
disclaimer: All characters belong to J.K. Rowling except for the Drs. Barnes, Daniel Murphy and Beryl. I receive no monetary compensation for these works.  
  
  


*****~*****  


  
Where's Jeffrey? Dumbledore suddenly asked. The younger Healer was conspicuously absent from the clinic.  
  
He is giving a presentation in Geneva on counseling in the   
wizarding world today. Stacy sent an owl to him about two hours  
ago. Jeffrey will return probably as soon as he reads the   
message, Dr. James reported. His son had built up quite a reputation with his therapy practices. But he'd forgo the rest of the conference to help Snape. The Healer looked at the frightened elf.  
  
Dobby? Come with me and let me show you the kitchens. I think  
that you can help most by fetching your friends tea and meals,  
hmmm? Barnes knew it would help Dobby. The elf nodded his head and reached out for the Healer's hand.   
  
I will join you Dr. Barnes. And then I must be off, Murphy said, although he moved to the comatose wizard.  
  
I'll be back to see you Severus. You rest and get better, the officer gently stroked Snape's forehead before turning and following the Healer out of the room.  
  
  
  
  
It took time to get used to sitting with the Potions Master. His face was bruised and battered. The breathing tube hissed. Dr. James had been very careful to explain the injuries to his friends and taken more time to explain why Snape had been lucky they weren't worse.   
  
Much Worse.  
  
So they learned to moisten the injured wizard's lips and mouth. Learned to gently stroke his forehead and arms and carefully massage feet and calves. They also learned not to look under all the covers.  
  
Curiosity had nudged Black to look at the trauma to the groin' and Lupin had joined him. Dumbledore, whether from intellect or personal knowledge, moved away having no desire to look. One glance was trauma indeed for the two. Black dropped the covers and looked at his mate.  
  
Will he ever be able to... the animagus began, stopping when he saw the tears form and simply held Lupin until the sadness ebbed enough to bear.  
  
  
  
In the evening Minerva McGonagall came into the clinic, received a briefing from the receptionist and calmly moved into the chair across the bed from Dumbledore. The Headmaster had to admire the witch's soothing manner.  
  
While Black and Lupin curled up to sleep a for few hours McGonagall told Dumbledore of all the doings at the castle. Once going through all the news she reached into her robe and pulled out a small paperback book. Dumbledore read the title, The Magician's Nephew and looked quizzically at the witch.  
  
It's a muggle's book, Albus. Severus had the entire series  
on his personal shelves at school. They looked well-read, she explained. After the fall of Voldemort Snape was not able to continue teaching. Since the rooms were needed for the new potions teacher all his things had been packed up and stored. Although Snape was considering staying retired Dumbledore had held his personal effects at Hogwarts until Snape had returned to his manor. Harry had enjoyed putting things away under Snape's amused eye.   
  
So McGonagall read aloud for over an hour, sipping tea and discussing the story as it unfolded with Dumbledore. He was interested in the muggle's concept of magicians/wizards. He was also interested in the witch's comments about more interesting issues to discuss as the story progressed. When she left the Headmaster kept the book so he could continue reading aloud.  
  
Jeffrey Barnes swept into the room well after midnight. He moved the nodding Headmaster onto the other empty bed and spent hours gently tending to Snape. He even went so far as to repeating his speech and views on current theories in therapy. He kept hands itching to heal still, knowing he could do more harm than good while his patient was in a coma.  
  
The following day brought a steady stream of staff members willing to sit and talk, slurping up all the tea that Dobby could brew. Through it all the patient stayed unmoving save for the slight rise and drop of his chest.  
  
Murphy came, easily talking to the comatose wizard, running soothing fingers over his forearm. Once he'd paid his respects he and Black went back to the manor to check on things'. Only McGonagall knew about the destruction and the animagus wanted to keep it that way until Snape came out of his coma.  
  
Even though Black knew the manor was destroyed he really wasn't prepared for the shock of seeing the charred stone, beams and ash. It had been a long, low home, the wings embracing the gardens. The second story that was over the middle of the house had collapsed as had most of the roof on the west wing where both the morning room and bedrooms were.  
  
They walked around the destruction, some areas still smoldering, to the east wing. Here the roof was still intact but the internal fire had been so hot the the furniture and wall hangings were practically gone. Black stopped at a huge lump of blackened metal and realized it was the remnants of several suits of armor and an extensive sword collection.  
  
Walking into the sitting room the animagus paused in the door surprised at the birdsong. He realized the glass in the huge windows had shattered and melted. It was no house fire; the heat generated could only be attributed to magical means.  
  
Murphy prodded gently.   
  
Uh, the safe was on the wall opposite the windows, Black managed, shaking out of his horror. He picked his way through the debris and was surprised there was a wall still standing. The fire had been fast and hot scorching the surface of the brick wall. Brushing aside what had been a hinged painting the animagus exposed the safe.  
  
Being a wizard's safe there was no combination knob to turn nor keyhole. Black carefully laid his hand on the smooth surface and spoke his opening spell. Both wizards were more than a little surprised when the door opened revealing a neat stack of papers. Glancing at Murphy Black reached in and removed the intact parchments.  
  
Well, if these survived then perhaps some of Severus' papers  
and journals survived. He has a few of these safes in the manor, Black commented.  
  
I think we will check on those later. I have placed a seal over the  
premises to keep out the curious, Murphy explained.   
Let's go back to my field office and go over the relevant   
papers.   
  
Field office? Black asked curiously. The security wizard grinned sheepishly.  
  
I don't always want to bring things back to the Ministry. Too  
many ears and not enough privacy wards. I certainly do not want  
to have our discussions about your godson get out, Murphy admitted. He pulled a small key ring from his pocket and selected a plain brass door key. He held it out to Black to touch.  
  
Don't tell me. A port key? Black smirked. A sly grin spread on the security wizard's face.  
  
he said.  
  
You are so clever, Black retorted. He touched the key and felt the familiar strange tug when Murphy murmured an incantation. The burned-out manor dissolved into a surprisingly comfortable-looking office. There were cupboards along one wall and a kitchenette of sorts. The opposite side of the room had a fireplace and couches. The middle of the room was dominated by a large conference table.  
  
Let's get some tea and we can sit at the table, Murphy suggested. Papers were set down and the two wizards put together tea and a light snack. Once settled Black separated the parchments and sorted them in order while Murphy poured out tea.  
  
Finally Murphy accepted the stack of parchments. He read through them quickly, then reread them. Black fidgeted through his own stack of personal papers fingering the court decision that he was a free wizard. Then over his identification papers and Lupin's.   
  
After ten or so minutes Murphy set two parchments aside and studied the remaining stack yet again. From this pile two more were plucked out and set aside. Once more he read the four left in front of him.  
  
Well, Mr. Potter seems to have written all these parchments at  
first glance, Murphy said.  
  
Black asked tentatively.  
  
Seems. Although these two, and here the security wizard handed Black the two exact parchments he and Lupin had decided were not Harry's.  
These two may be in his cursive, but they are not Harry's. The  
flow of the words are not his, the word usage has a foreign edge,  
German I believe.   
  
As Black reread the two letters he understood what Murphy was saying. The structure itself, the noun/verb/descriptor usage, was subtly off and did in fact seem as though written by a non-native speaker of English.   
  
That is what Remus and I felt, Black agreed.  
  
These two are Harry's, plain and simple. His writing, his thoughts.  
They are not as harsh as the later parchments, Murphy handed over the next two for his cohort to peruse.   
  
Now, these, these are not written by Harry at all but the script  
is extremely close. This writer does better writing in Harry's  
style, but harsher, more accusatory. See? Look at the way the  
t' is formed and the connectors between the small b' and small  
a'. A good reproduction, but not original, Murphy determined.  
  
Black was more than impressed and he looked at the security officer with something close to awe. Murphy smiled slightly.  
  
I have always been curious in insignificant details. Things that  
seem just slightly skewed. These parchments are excellent and  
I know you didn't catch the forged handwriting. Nor would most  
other people, the wizard said modestly.  
  
I think it's amazing. I also am doubly worried about Harry. Do  
you think he's been coerced into helping harm Severus? Black asked worry painting his voice.  
  
I do not wish to form any opinions either way, Murphy said, gathering up the parchments and handing them to Black.  
I do want to go visit Mr. Potter as soon as I am able. I need  
to speak with him and nose about. I will let you know what  
I find out when I can. An oblique promise, but a promise none the less.  
  
Don't you want to keep these parchments? Black asked.  
  
No, not right now. I would rather you keep them secure. I   
might want them later, the wizard said. He rose and opened a cupboard selecting a leather valise. This he unzipped and handed to the animagus.  
  
Here. Not quite as fireproof as Severus' safe, but good  
enough for now. You can key it to you and Mr. Lupin. It will  
withstand some destructive forces. Black accepted the gift and carefully put his papers and parchments inside. He spoke the keying charm on the inside of the lining and then closed it.   
  
Thank you very much, Black said gratefully. Together they floo'd to the clinic.  
  
  
  
The vigil stretched to the second night. Black had noted that Snape had moved in the bed but found out the Healers had moved him to prevent bedsores. In this position, rolled carefully on his good side (no broken ribs) with plenty of pillows to cushion him, people could gently rub shoulders and back.   
  
There were more people that night. Both McGonagall and Hooch had taken over the midnight shift while an exhausted Dumbledore snored softly nearby. Some more of the muggle book was read and a spirited discussion on good and evil ensued between the witches.   
  
  
When Lupin woke late in the morning he sleepily watched as Dr. James and his son bathed Snape. Cream was rubbed into skin and they softly murmured back and forth. single words and a few phrases drifted over.  
  
  
  
...remove ... tube?  
  
...nose first...  
  
  
  
...don't know..  
  
Which was all well and good but Lupin wanted to know what was being discussed and pushed himself up off the bed and moved silently over to the empty chair. The older Healer gave him a warm smile while the younger concentrated on scanning Snape's lower torso.  
  
Good morning Remus! I've sent Albus off to shower and change.  
Black said he'd find you some clean clothes and bring them back, Dr. James told him. Lupin wondered why he hadn't picked some up when he'd gone back to the manor with Murphy the day before. His drowsy thinking was derailed by an elvish hand.  
  
Master Remus wants tea? Dobby asked quietly.  
  
Yes, please Dobby. Breakfast, too, Lupin replied, patting the hand on his forearm. With a toothy smile Dobby left the room. Lupin returned his attention to the Potions Master and the Healers' ministrations.  
  
Any better? Lupin asked hopefully. This time Jeffrey looked over at him.  
  
Well, the swelling is starting to go down and he's breathing  
easier, the Healer reported. We'll leave the airway in until we  
can fix his nose.  
  
What about, uh, his groin? Will it, uh, will he function? Lupin stumbled over his question. He had been quietly pleased his mate was willing to consider bringing Snape into their intimate circle but what if he was damaged? Jeffrey now glanced over at his father subtly deferring to the head Healer.  
  
If by you are referring to his toiletry, then, yes, that  
is fine now, just the swelling prevents the functioning, Dr. James said carefully. Lupin blushed very slightly.  
  
If by function you are referring to the ability to sustain an  
erection, Jeffrey took over, I can't answer that. Physically he should. Emotionally? he shrugged.  
  
Is there something I've missed here? I don't recall that Severus  
had any lovers currently, Dr. James looked both curious and protective. Lupin fidgeted.  
  
We were together for over 12 years, before Sirius came back. I,   
I am concerned for him, the werewolf managed. The younger Healer looked at him carefully.  
  
That's a long time to have a relationship and walk away, he commented without inflection.  
  
Sirius is my mate. I had thought I had lost him, Lupin tried to explain. Surely they knew about werewolves and their mating habits! Continuing to tend to his patient the younger Healer glanced at the rather nervous wizard.  
  
You believe werewolves mate for life? he asked casually.   
  
Of course, everyone knows that! Lupin stated firmly.  
  
Well, if they do why were you able to enter into a relationship  
with Severus? Jeffrey asked lightly. Your mate wasn't dead,  
only unavailable. You should not have been attracted to anyone   
else.  
  
But, but he was dead to me! Lupin stuttered. Barnes silently finished wiping his hands and moved to the chair next to the confused wizard.  
  
Remus, if you truly mated for life, as most of the texts say, then  
you would not have been interested in sustaining a relationship  
with another lover for 12 years and you would not feel the need   
to protect and care for Severus now this deeply, Jeffrey pointed out.  
  
He's, he's part of my pack. I protect my pack, Lupin blurted out using Snape's own description.  
  
You never stopped loving Severus, did you? Jeffrey asked point blank. Lupin reeled back.  
  
he whispered. I love Sirius, but I love Severus too.  
  
Remus, wolves mate for live. But a werewolf is not a wolf; he  
or she is person who has been infected with lycanthropy. A   
person with wants and needs. Barnes explained.  
Society perpetuates the idea of life mates. From what I've  
studied it is a misguided attempt to curb werewolves in society.  
It has been somewhat effective over the years, but it also causes  
many werewolves to be confused and upset. Lupin was stunned. So all his turmoil over Severus _was_ normal. It was as if a great weight had been shifted off his shoulders and he looked with fondness at the comatose wizard.  
  
Remus, Da and I need to go over some clinic business. Why   
don't you and I sit down and talk later this afternoon when some  
of the Hogwart's contingent show up? I suspect you might need  
someone to talk with, Jeffrey offered.   
  
I would like that. Maybe later Sirius could join us? Lupin asked.  
  
We'll just set up a couple appointments, hmmm? Jeffrey asked gently. Lupin nodded then made his way to Snape's bedside. The Healers left him alone to whisper soft words to his old lover.   
  
  



	6. Chapter 6: Waking

Title: When Harry Left Severus  
  
rating: R for adult themes including male/male relationships.   
  
Chapter 6 - Waking  
  
by: Raven Dancer  
  
disclaimer: All characters belong to J.K. Rowling except for the Drs. Barnes, Daniel Murphy and Beryl. I receive no monetary compensation for these works.  
  
  
  
Another long night. Hagrid came and sat with Snape discussing his latest wee beasties he'd managed to secure for magical creatures classes. He chuckled as he reported the mishaps of caring for his odd menagerie. Hermione Granger joined the half-giant. She had taken over potions the year after Snape fell ill. At first she felt strange, talking to a sleeping wizard, but she became used to it as everyone else had. Hagrid pointed out he'd felt strange when she had been petrified years before when he'd come to sit and talk.  
  
Along about five in the morning when the clinic had settled into a peaceful silence Dumbledore felt a twitch in the normally limp hand he was absently stroking. Setting down his tea cup the Headmaster stood and leaned over his friend.  
  
Severus, are you waking up? Hmmm? the older wizard soothed the waking wizard.  
Dobby will go find Dr. Jeffrey for us, Severus, right Dobby?   
  
Oh, yes Headmaster Dumbledore! Dobby find Dr. Jeffrey.   
Dobby likes to help Master Severus, the house elf chirruped, his long fingers stroking Snape's forehead where he'd been told he could touch. More twitching, now the face animated slightly and the elf rocketed out of the room to find the Healer.  
  
The Headmaster continued to talk, gently prodding the ill wizard to open his eyes. When the Healer made it to his bedside Snape was moaning very softly.  
  
Severus, you're just fine. You have a breathing tube down   
your throat so you can't talk. I had to bind your jaw to keep  
it all in line. If you could open your eyes then I could help you  
with the pain, Jeffrey wheedled. Snape trembled slightly beneath their hands but the Healer's scan was promising.   
  
After several minutes of cajoling the wizard Snape's frightened and confused eyes opened. The trembling increased and they could hear him gasping great draughts of air in and out. Hands were holding him down and he was panicking.   
  
Child, I am so glad that you've woken, the Headmaster managed with only a hint of tears, trying to get through to his friend.  
  
Severus, you're fine, Jeffrey cooed, sending in a warm stream of energy. The shaking reached a peak and then began to melt away into the energy feed. Snape's eyes lost their fear as they finally found his friend.   
  
I'm going to heal your nose, Severus. You just concentrate on  
Albus and stay awake, Jeffrey cautioned as his hands move to his patient's face. Carefully the Healer began.  
  
Snape struggled to stay awake listening to Dumbledore's expressive voice telling him about Fawkes' latest burning day. Strange, the Headmaster had already told him about the bird's antics hadn't he? Snape swore he recalled the flaming molt that scared the daylights out of several prefects come to report the week's activities.   
  
As he listened he felt his nose warm from the Healer's energy and slowly _shift _as cartilage and bone realigned and attached. The slight throbbing diminished and he soon twitched his nose much to the delight of both Albus and Jeffrey.  
  
There, all healed. I bet that feels better. Let me go get some  
potions mixed up and we'll take out that breathing tube and you   
can sleep a little while, Jeffrey soothed. The Healer glanced pointedly at the Headmaster. Dumbledore quickly stroked Snape's face and gained his attention.  
  
You look much better Severus. Once Jeffrey removes the tube  
he's going to let me take you back to Hogwarts to my rooms, Dumbledore explained. Snape's eyes softened. He felt safe there. Although he could not recall how he got hurt in the first place. His ribs hurt as he breathed in and out. Before he could work on remembering there were fingers on his face and he turned his attention back to his mentor.  
  
Remus and Sirius will be with us, too. They've been very worried  
about you lately. You can trust them, they want to be  
with you, Dumbledore was prattling on trying to keep Snape focused and not allowing him to drift. Jeffrey was back quickly and set down a large mug and straw.  
  
Severus? Here, look at me, Jeffrey called. Still drowsy and befuddled the Potions Master turned his eyes to the Healer.   
  
Good, Severus. Just stay awake a little bit longer. You'll sleep  
much better without the tube, the Healer smiled brightly.  
  
I am going to pull the tube out all at once, one steady pull. I   
need you to take a deep breath and blow out your mouth, like  
you're blowing out candles. Can you take a deep breath and   
blow out for me? Jeffrey asked looking for understanding. Snape nodded slightly and took a deep breath then exhaled to show the Healer.  
  
Good, that's exactly what I want you to do. Let me get ready.  
There, I have the tube. Now, take a deeeeeppp breath... Barnes coached the ill wizard.   
  
Blow out the candles... The Healer commanded and pulled the tube out of his patient. Snape immediately started to cough and tear up. gods, that HURT!! He twisted miserably under the pain as Dumbledore held him down.   
  
Ok, it's all done, ssshhh, Jeffrey immediately put a hand on the wizard's throat and poured in soothing energy. The coughing slowly came under control and the terrified eyes soften back into sleepy trust.  
  
I'm going to carefully lift you up so you can sip through a straw  
for me Severus. Your jaw won't move so don't try to talk. Just  
sip for me, gooood Severus. It tastes pretty good, eh? A little   
lemony, not too sweet. Nice and cool. Makes your throat feel  
better, too, The Healer continued to soothe Snape until the heavy eyelids slipped fluttering closed. He handed the mug to Dumbledore and gently lowered his patient back onto the bed.  
  
This works out just fine Albus. He should sleep for a few hours.  
We can heal his jaw and ribs then we'll be ready to move to your  
rooms, the Healer smiled.  
  
Minerva had the elves restore the extra bedroom so that Remus  
and Sirius will have a place to sleep, Dumbledore commented as he watched Snape twitch and settle deeper into a natural sleep.  
  
Good. They'll need a place to stay, Jeffrey said as he tucked covers up eyeing his patient's jaw.  
  
I suppose they'll just go back to the manor soon, Albus sadly sighed. Jeffrey looked up and stared at the wizard.  
  
They haven't told you? Barnes asked quietly.  
  
Told me what? Dumbledore asked sharply. Shaking his head slightly Barnes reached out and took the older wizard's hand.  
  
Come sit with me. Severus will be fine now, he's asleep, Jeffrey pulled Dumbledore over to the chairs at the foot of the bed and sat down so that he could easily hold both hands, knees touching. Dumbledore's anxiety rose higher as he recognized the Healer's favorite technique for dealing with difficult issues.  
  
Dumbledore asked curtly.  
  
Albus, Severus' home was completely destroyed within minutes  
after he was brought to the clinic. Practically burned to the   
ground. I guess Da and Sirius decided not to to tell you or Remus   
until Severus regained consciousness, Barnes said all in one long breath.   
  
Dumbledore stuttered, face paled significantly. Barnes immediately began feeding a thin stream of energy into the trembling wizard.  
  
Yes, Albus. Destroyed. The dark mark hung over the spot  
for quite awhile, Barnes explained.  
  
Dumbledore whispered.  
  
I think so. Daniel and Sirius think some things that were covered  
by protective spells may have survived. They haven't searched  
yet, the Healer allowed.   
  
My child, my poor child, Dumbledore began, then froze.  
He, he could have died.   
  
Jeffrey was sure the Headmaster was going to fall apart and pulled him into a hug.   
  
But he didn't die Albus. He's right here and he needs you, Jeffrey soothed as he ran his hands over Dumbledore's back. He felt the tremors ease and a huge breath of air drawn in.  
  
The Headmaster sat up straight, thinking. Jeffrey remained close, still partially holding the older wizard, waiting for a meltdown.  
  
Well, then, I think I'll round up some staff and a few students  
and we'll poke around and find any magical spots that might have  
survived. It will be much easier when we tell Severus if we can  
lead him right to the areas rather than let him face the ruins   
alone, the Headmaster decided. The Healer regarded him curiously.  
  
Yes, you're right, he said tentatively, still watching for problems.  
  
Thank you for telling me, Jeffrey. I understand why Sirius would  
want to shield Remus and me, but I'd rather know, Dumbledore patted the Healer's hands. Another assessing look.  
  
You ok? Jeffrey hedged. The wise Headmaster looked at the young Healer.  
  
No, I'm not. But falling apart is not a choice right now. I want  
Severus safely tucked in my rooms with Sirius and Remus. Then  
I want to send out some people to shop for necessities for them  
and organize the search. I need to get busy, Dumbledore said. He pushed up with and managed to stand. Barnes took an elbow and they moved back to the sleeping wizard.  
  
I will heal his jaw and ribs so he's ready to move. We're going  
to leave the collection bag on for the trip, Barnes was all business. He wanted Snape in the Headmaster's rooms where he was most comfortable and secure.  
  
I'll wake Sirius and Remus, Dumbledore decided.  
  
Send Dobby for tea and my father. He should be up by now, Jeffrey directed as he gave the Headmaster one last hug before moving back to his patient.  
  
  
  
Within two hours the move was completed. Snape lie in Dumbledore's bed sleeping deeply while the Headmaster marshaled his considerable troops. His first order was to Black to take Lupin into their room and bring him up to date on events.   
  
Leaving Dr. James with the Potions Master Dumbledore sat at his desk discussing plans with several Hogwarts Professors.  
  
Personally I'm all for going out to the Manor today and having  
a look about while we have some time, McGonagall stated.  
  
Yes, today would be perfect, otherwise we'd have to wait until  
next weekend since it's nearly finals, Flitwick agreed.   
  
Count me in, Lupin said as he crossed the room, eyes still red from crying. Black followed, his body showing exactly how tired he was.  
  
I'm sure I can find a few students who'd help, Hermione said.   
  
As well as a few more staff members. I know Hagrid was very  
keen to get out there with Fang and some nifflers, McGonagall added.  
  
You'll have to contact Officer Murphy, Albus, Black stifled a yawn.  
He's put wards around the ruins. I'm sure the authorities need  
to be there in any event.  
  
In the end Granger and McGonagall went to gather helpers while Flitwick and Lupin went to the kitchens to arrange for food and drink to be delivered to the gardens by the Manor. Dumbledore contacted Murphy and the officer promised to join the search party.   
  
Black stood in the bedroom as the Healer explained how to care for Snape. The animagus did not have the emotional strength to go back to the burned-out manor and volunteered to stay with the Potions Master. Dr. James had finished healing the damaged ribs and did what he could for the bruised groin. Soft tissue damage was hardest to heal. Time and a warming blanket would do the best job.  
  
Well Sirius, now it's just rest and understanding friends, Dr. James explained.   
Severus' injuries are nearly healed, but he's going to need a lot  
of emotional support. You and Remus have been very good to  
him, do you intend to stay with him or move on now that the   
manor is destroyed?  
  
James Barnes could be very pointed when need be.  
  
Remus and I will stay with Severus, Black said just as sharp.  
It was nice to have the manor to live in, but that's not why we  
stayed with him and you know it. The Healer sized the animagus up.  
  
I know you care for Severus. That Remus still loves him. But  
he's going to require a great deal of help. He was falling apart  
when Harry was pestering him. Now his home, his sanctuary, has  
been destroyed. He has nothing left, Barnes pointed out.  
  
He has his life. He has concerned friends that will stand by  
him and help him rebuild, Black's eyes glinted mischievously.  
And he has the doctors Barnes to care for him. I hear they can  
work miracles.  
  
You've been listening to Dobby again, haven't you? James snorted. The house elf had been effusive in his praise of the Healers. Black chuckled then turned serious again.  
  
Remus, Albus and I are here for Severus. With your and Jeffrey's  
help we'll get him through. And I know there are more people  
here at Hogwarts that will help, Black moved to the sleeping wizard. The Healer stood by him and put his hand on Black's shoulder. The lines of pain had eased and Snape's face had softened in sleep.  
  
He should sleep as much as possible. There's a pitcher of juice  
and packets of sleeping draughts that he can have every two  
hours. The draughts are very weak although it won't take much  
to put Severus under, Dr. James said.  
  
Can he be moved? Can he eat? Black asked eying the lounge beyond the bed by the windows.  
  
Of course. You could even hold him if you'd like. The contact  
would make him feel safe and he'd sleep better. As for eating, if  
he asks then give him broth and soft things like puddings or  
protein shakes. Steer clear of things that need to be chewed.  
I need to go to the clinic but Jeffrey will be back tonight, the Healer said. Turning he finished packing his satchel.   
  
Black busied himself moving a table near the lounge and setting up the things he'd need. Finally he levitated Snape and with Dr. James' help they settled in the lounge. The weight of the ill wizard was welcome and the animagus indulged in a gentle hug and cuddle. In his sleep Snape shifted towards the warm, to the heartbeat beneath his ear.  
  
He'll be confused when he wakes, Sirius. Best not tell him what  
has happened either to him or the manor until he's stronger, Dr. James suggested.  
  
Or until Jeffrey decides it's time? Black drawled. The Healer grimaced.  
  
I will be consulting with the younger Dr. Barnes before he comes  
to the castle tonight. Severus needs time to regain some   
strength. If he wants to talk about the beating that's fine. The  
rest WILL wait, Dr. James said very firmly. Black was secretly glad he wasn't Jeffrey Barnes at that moment.  
  



	7. Chapter 7: Confronting Black

Title: When Harry Left Severus  
  
rating: R for adult themes including male/male relationships.   
  
Chapter 7 - Confronting Black   
by: Raven Dancer  
  
disclaimer: All characters belong to J.K. Rowling except for the Drs. Barnes, Daniel Murphy and Beryl. I receive no monetary compensation for these works.  
  
  
  
Harry Potter stormed into the Headmaster's office. It appeared empty although he knew someone had to be in the rooms since he got into the sanctuary. As a rule the prefects had the simple password that allowed access if someone was already in the Headmaster's rooms. Noting that the bedroom door was ajar he hurried across the room looking for his godfather. He pushed in angrily.  
  
For Merlin's sakes, Sirius! Why the hell did you have to sic that  
damned security wizard Murphy on us? He did everything but   
arrest me and Vachel for bothering... Harry's voice boomed from the door then immediately diminished.  
  
  
The Potions Master still looked horrible, bruised and battered. Although his jaw had been healed enough to be released from the binding spell the IV was still in and dripping fluids. Black glared, not very happy to see his godson.   
  
Black was tired and alone. What if Harry was part of the plans to hurt Snape? He loved Harry but Snape was lying there completely vulnerable. Did Harry come alone? He certainly wasn't alone at the manor a few nights back. If Harry became violent could Black stop him? The fear that rose in Black's chest turned quickly to anger.   
  
Why are you here? Black hissed. He gathered Snape closer.  
  
Sirius, what happened to Severus? Harry ignored the palpable anger in his godfather's tone.  
  
Lower your voice, he whispered angrily. After what you and   
your friends did to Severus I didn't expect to see you until Murphy  
dragged you in. Harry dropped to the floor totally missing the chair he'd been aiming for.  
  
My friends? Vachel and I stopped by to pick up the last of  
my things and insist you join us in France. We talked to Severus.  
Vachel just detained him for a few moments, Harry said confused and a bit put off by his godfather's ire.   
  
You had several acquaintances, I believe, who followed you to   
Snape Manor, Black pointed out. He hoped Harry didn't know. If he didn't then maybe Harry had been duped.   
  
Well, a couple did come along with us, but only to see the   
Manor, Harry allowed. Black immediately reacted.  
  
And to beat Severus to a bloody pulp leaving him manacled to  
the wall so he couldn't escape! Sirius quelled the shriek, but the effort caused spit to shoot from his mouth. The image of Snape manacled and bleeding on the floor flashed once again in his mind.  
  
Wh, what are you going on about Siri?! Vachel and I spoke   
briefly to Severus in the morning room then I spoke with you  
and Remus, Harry started. Vachel joined us within a couple  
of minutes.  
  
Well, then, Vachel must have been the one who lowered a few  
wards in the morning room, then, and your _friends_ joined him, Black seethed.   
And this is one part of what they did.  
  
Harry managed to push himself up and into the chair staring at his old lover.   
  
That's bullshit Sirius! Vachel would never hurt anyone! He's been   
very supportive of me and has helped me with my anger. Neither  
would Iris or Andy. They're my friends! They helped me. I was   
trapped by that greasy git for Merlin's sake! You were too, still  
are if you'd only think about it! Harry's voice began to raise again and he earned another glare from Black.  
We didn't touch him! We just wanted him to feel guilty about  
the way he treated me all those months!  
  
Guilt? He always treated you with the greatest respect, Black snorted.   
And those letters you sent him were threatening! From  
harming him physically to sending him to Azkaban. Murphy said  
you didn't write them all, but Harry, you wrote some of them!  
  
Letters? What letters? I sent one or two after I broke it off, Harry complained. Lifting a suspicious eyebrow Black motioned with the wand.  
  
Accio leather valise, he muttered and the leather bag Murphy had given him floated into the room. He rested it atop of Snape for a moment as he riffled through finding the packet of letters.  
Here, these are the letters I'm talking about.  
  
a soft whimper arose from Snape. Dropping the valise to the ground, Black motioned to his godson to move back.   
  
+be silent!+ Black mouthed. With a sneer Harry chose to obey and sat quietly.  
  
the plaintive sound welled up.  
  
I'm here Severus. Does your jaw feel better? Dr. James   
released it while you were asleep, Black set his wand down and began to gently stroke the waking wizard's face.  
  
where am I Sirius? what's happened? asked the confused exhausted voice.  
  
You're in Albus' bedroom, remember? You've been hurt and  
Albus wants you right where he knows you'll be safe, Black reached for a cup on the table next to him.  
  
I'm always hurt and in Albus' bedroom, Snape said softly.  
  
No you're not silly. Here, have a sip of cool juice, Black tucked the straw between Snape's lips and encouraged him to drink. The fruity concoction was heavily laced with a sleeping draught.   
  
That's good, Severus. Dr. James said you needed to sleep,  
Do you think you can sleep for me? Black set the cup down and carefully arranged the nearly somnolent man more comfortably against him.  
  
'k Siri, I'll try, Snape murmured, slurring his friend's name. Eyelids fluttered and shut as breathing lengthened. out. After a long moment Black glanced up at his godson. He felt the anger start to drain away.  
  
You love him, Harry said, staring incredulously at Black. Now the younger wizard thought he understood the anger never suspecting his godfather could fear him.  
  
He was in a coma for three days. Dr. James has kept him   
mostly asleep while they healed the major problems, Black explained ignoring his godson's sharp comment.  
  
Harry shrugged. The idea that Vachel or his friends had something to do with this was ludicrous. He looked at the packet of letters in his hand. The first one he remembered and admitted as much to Black. The second he somewhat recalled, but it was a hazy memory. He'd had too much to drink that particular night and Vachel, or was it one of Vachel's friends? Someone had helped by dictating large parts to him to write. The final six he had no recollection of at all. The writing certainly looked like his, but Harry tossed them aside and told his godfather they weren't his.  
  
I suppose those two little visits to the Manor harassing Severus  
weren't you, either? Black asked sarcastically.  
  
I only went to the manor once after I left. You and Remus had   
gone into town to shop, Harry countered. At first the younger wizard was confused. But his godfather's accusations drew him back to righteous anger and shock.  
  
Black snorted. Something was going on but he couldn't decide if Harry were lying to protect his friends or if he were under the Imperious curse. From Black's limited knowledge he wasn't sure.   
  
I find it hard to believe you, Black drawled in a perfect imitation of the sleeping Potions Master, deciding to push Harry.   
You sit there telling me you had no knowledge of those  
letters or screaming at Severus? What next, you're going to  
tell me you didn't know his home was destroyed, either?  
  
Harry stared in disbelief at Black.   
  
Oh, come off it Harry, the place is a total loss. Remus has gone  
out to sift through the rubble with half the Hogwarts staff and  
most of the seventh year students, Black said. With a jerk Harry snapped up out of the chair.  
  
You are lying! Harry nearly yelled.   
You have to be! Vachel and I have done nothing wrong!  
  
Black just shook his head.  
  
No, Harry. When you and Vachel left we had to blast the   
morning room door open because it was spelled shut. Severus  
had been beaten and manacled to the wall. We brought him to  
the clinic and found out several hours later that his home was  
destroyed. The Dark mark had been cast above it, Black briefly explained.  
Dobby survived only because we sent him to Albus to bring  
him to the clinic.  
  
Vachel said he only yelled at Severus, Harry said a little softer.  
I am going to go see for myself!  
  
Well, then, go. But if you apparate be sure to go to the  
gardens and not the house. It's totaled, Black said with a sinking heart. Harry was confused. His Harry would never had hurt Snape.  
You really didn't know, did you?  
  
I have to go Sirius, Harry responded and ran from the room.  
  
  
  
The young wizard apparated in the garden. He could hear the bees mumbling in the flowers. Before him was the Manor.   
  
Or the remains of it.  
  
Anything wooden was charred, much falling into ashes. He simply stared at the blackened stone arch numbly. He was aware of voices, perhaps heard his name called out. A hand touched his shoulder.  
  
He found himself on his knees. At some point his arms had wrapped around his body. The house was gone and Albus Dumbledore was sitting next to him.  
  
That was an interesting sight. Dumbledore with his hair tightly braided back and beard wrapped in cloth. In trousers!   
  
Ah, Mr. Potter, I see you've decided to recognize me, the Headmaster said firmly. Harry managed to nod vaguely then looked over the ruins. There was Remus Lupin and Hermione Granger working with several students he supposed. Wands out and moving over a pile of debris.  
  
Not everything was totally destroyed. Several areas had been  
carefully charmed. His personal brewing logs, for instance,   
seemed to have survived, Dumbledore said almost casually. In fact the Headmaster had to tamp down his anger at this former student and officially recognized savior of the wizarding world.  
Severus has a tendency to change protection charms often  
enough over those. But I'm afraid he's lost most everything else.  
Did he ever mention his protections to you?  
  
Of course Snape had. Snape had shared practically everything with the curious Harry. He'd made no secret of the disarming spells over his books and curios. The Potions Master had, over the course of six month convalescing, shown him nearly every nook and cranny of the manor. Harry simply looked at Dumbledore as tears started to flow.  
  
I didn't believe Sirius, the young man managed to get out of his tight throat.  
  
You seem to have some friends that do not care for  
Severus at all, Dumbledore said a bit more callously than he meant to. Maybe. Harry startled.  
  
There are always a few people hanging about Vachel's place.   
Ben, Iris, Andy, and others. Vachel's home is open most of the   
time, Harry murmured. The shock was wrapping around him like a cold blanket of snow.  
  
Dumbledore said more kindly than he felt,  
Harry, you are going to Hogwarts and stay there for now. We'll  
send for Vachel. I don't think you are very safe around these  
friends' now that they've destroyed Severus.  
  
But I saw Severus, he's alive, Harry protested.  
  
And everything he's ever had or done had been completely  
wiped out by either the ministry or the remnants of Voldemort's  
followers, Dumbledore pronounced coldly. How in the name of all things holy were they going to tell Snape his home was gone?   
  
But Sirius was furious when I came into your rooms, Harry felt the small ball of panic growing inside him.  
He doesn't want me at Hogwarts.  
  
You can have run of the castle except for my office and rooms, Dumbledore said.  
You will leave Severus alone. If you want, Ms. Granger might need   
some help in the potion labs.  
  
Harry looked over at his friend.  
  
I doubt that very much. I, I wasn't very good to her, Harry murmured.  
  
Perhaps not, but she has a great capacity for understanding  
and forgiveness, the Headmaster said. We'd better leave  
now Harry.   
  
  
And soon Harry was back in Hogwarts treading down stairs and hallways to the staff wing. A door opened into a small sitting room, windows open letting in the breeze.   
  
Dumbledore made him sit in a stuffed chair as he seated himself nearby. Reaching for a small bell he summoned a house elf.  
  
Beryl will assist you Harry. He will bring you some robes and  
personal toiletries. When we owl Vachel this evening you can  
have him bring you your own things. Meals are at the same time  
as when you attended. Is there anything else I can do for you? the Headmaster asked. Harry gave a vague shake of his head.  
  
Then I will see you at dinner in three hours. Please stay on  
the grounds. With that pronouncement Dumbledore swept out of the room.


	8. Chapter 8: Confronting Harry

Title: When Harry Left Severus  
  
rating: R for adult themes including male/male relationships.   
  
Chapter 8 - Confronting Harry  
by: Raven Dancer  
  
disclaimer: All characters belong to J.K. Rowling except for the Drs. Barnes, Daniel Murphy and Beryl. I receive no monetary compensation for these works.  
  
  
Dinner had been a chilly affair; even Hagrid was not very happy to see Harry sitting at the staff table. Dumbledore had barely nodded.  
Hermione managed to make polite conversation with her old friend, but merely polite.   
  
Both his godfather and his mate were missing from table.  
  
There were no introductions, no fanfare that Harry had come to expect nearly everywhere he'd gone. Food eaten and a quiet word from McGonagall that the Headmaster would be down to see him after nine in his room.  
  
Feeling more than sorry for himself Harry walked through the halls towards his rooms, the voices of students hurrying along getting ready for finals and summer vacation filled the air. He wondered belatedly where his godfather was and if Snape was doing better. There was no one to ask.  
  
Hmmmm. Maybe Beryl could get Dobby for him. He was sure the house elf returned here after he left Vachel's place. Dobby would find out about Sirius for him! Maybe not Snape though. He doubted the house elf could stand the Potions Master any more than he could.  
  
With more purpose Harry hurried back to his rooms and rang for Beryl. The elf appeared promptly but was hesitant to fetch Dobby for the wizard.  
  
Dobby not Hogwarts elf. Dobby no work here, the elf explained carefully.  
  
Is Dobby here? Harry pressed. The elf answered a tentative yes.   
  
Well, then, go ask him to come see me. I'm an old friend, Harry explained. The look from Beryl was disbelieving at best. But being a good house elf he agreed to tell Dobby that Mr. Potter wanted to speak to Dobby.  
  
When Dobby finally showed up it was nine o'clock and the elf walked in with Dumbledore. The first thing Harry noted was Dobby was not wearing strange socks or a pillowcase or tea cozy. He was wearing a small dark t-shirt reaching his knees and belted with a length of black cord.   
  
The second thing he noticed was that Dobby was NOT smiling.   
  
Hullo, Dobby! I asked Beryl if you could help me, Harry began. He knew that all house elves loved to help their wizards and Dobby had always loved to help Harry.   
  
Dobby is free elf. Dobby does not helps if Dobby not wants to  
helps, the elf sniffed indignantly. Harry was floored.  
  
But Dobby, you always love to help me, remember? Harry said faintly. Dobby simply glanced at the wizard.  
  
Mr. Potter tell Dobby go away. Mr. Potter no need Dobby, the elf threw back in Harry's face. Oh, gods, he had sent the elf away. Vachel had asked him to since there were more than enough house elves in the house already. There was something more, but Harry couldn't quite recall.  
  
Master Severus takes Dobby. Master Severus loves Dobby, the elf said.   
Dobby loves Master Snape, Dobby asserted. With that declaration the elf turned and walked out of the room before a soft was heard. Dobby had left for his master.  
  
He, he loves Dobby? Harry stuttered. Snape said he loved a house elf? Snape hated house elves and everyone else! Another movement at the door caught his attention. In walked both Dr. James Barnes and Officer Daniel Murphy.   
  
Why are you here? Harry asked, mostly of the security officer.   
  
We are concerned about your involvement in the assault on  
Severus and the destruction of the manor, Murphy stated.  
  
We left! Both Sirius and Remus can attest to that! Harry quickly defended himself.  
  
Yes, they did say you two apparently left the manor, although  
both of you had been alone with Severus, Murphy continued.  
  
Dumbledore moved in quickly, we are all concerned  
about your involvement with Vachel and his friends. We wonder  
if you have been hexed or subjected to a potion. You are not  
acting quite like yourself.  
  
This was almost too much for the young wizard to tolerate. He suddenly felt trapped by these three old meddling men. Hexed? Potioned? Ridiculous!  
  
Yes, Daniel, I see what you were referring to. He does have   
some of the mannerisms, Dr. James murmured as he quietly closed the door.  
  
You can't keep me here against my will, Harry hissed, teeth clenched.  
  
No, we can't, Murphy asserted, but we can ask you to let  
Dr. James perform a series of terminating spells and scan you  
for possible potions.  
  
NO! I have not been hexed! I have not taken any potions! Harry asserted. The three wizards watched as the younger jerked and paced back and forth.  
  
I take responsibility, Dumbledore said quietly.  
  
No, I will, asserted Murphy and he turned to Harry.  
Mr. Potter, I believe you have been compromised either by  
curse or potion. I do not believe you are in control of your   
actions. You will subject to a Healer scan and terminating  
spells or be taken into custody.   
  
Harry's jaw dropped. He was trapped and all he wanted to do was flee this insane place and get back to Vachel! Vachel understood him! Loved him! Vachel was always there for him.   
  
You have no right to hold me like this, he snarled. Murphy frowned slightly.  
  
Harry Potter, I place you under arrest for the assault on Severus Snape and the destruction of property belonging to Severus Snape, Murphy began, his wand wove a binding spell over the young wizard.  
You have the right to counsel...  
  
You've got to be kidding! I HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH SNAPE   
OR HIS BLOODY MANOR! Harry screamed. Dr. James stepped up to the youth.  
  
Well, then, if you had nothing to do with any of this, let me scan  
you and if you pass I'll have Murphy let you go, the Healer said simply.   
  
I'll be released? Harry demanded.  
  
Of course. Once you've passed your scans, Dr. James replied.  
  
Ok, do them! Harry asserted.  
  
Now haven been given permission the Healer first simply touched the young man's head. He was still bound and attempted to sit still, but the compulsion to get away from Dr. James was strong.  
  
Barnes said, putting Harry effectively to sleep.  
  
What James? Dumbledore pressed immediately. The Healer rubbed his face and turned to the other two wizards.  
  
Memory blocks. Plural. I have no idea what is behind them, he said quietly.  
  
So there is something more here. This Vachel or his companions  
have effectively snared Harry, Murphy said.  
  
What else, James? the Headmaster asked.  
  
I need to scan; I just wanted to let you know there are some  
complications, and the Healer turned back to his sleeping patient.  
  
  
  
  
Dobby flashed back into the Hogwarts space in the Headmaster's bedroom. The angry cracking noise drew the attention of the wizards present including one that was barely awake.  
  
Dobby! Whatever is wrong? Lupin quietly asked as the house elf agitatedly hunched down by the lounge.  
  
Dobby mads, was all the elf would say. Lupin carefully returned his attention to the ill wizard sandwiched between him and Black.  
  
Another spoonful, Severus, Black encouraged holding the small scoop up to Snape's mouth. The house elves had made a very protein-rich custard for the Potions Master.  
  
It was difficult to feed the confused and sleepy wizard. Snape knew he'd been hurt and was still uncomfortable. But he couldn't figure out what had happened nor was he coherent enough to ask his companions anything.  
  
So Black and Lupin continued to stuff bits of extremely tasty vanilla custard into his mouth. He gave up trying to figure out what had happened and simply accepted bite after bite of the soft, sweet food. He was sleepy, he was snuggled up in nice warm blankets between two people he trusted very much. With a sigh he swallowed one last spoonful and leaned against Black's chest listening to the heart beating within.  
  
So tired, Severus? Have a small sip of juice for me, Lupin pushed the straw between the passive lips and waited as little sips were drawn up and swallowed.  
Good Severus, cool juice to keep you nice and hydrated.   
  
The IV swung above them, the tube still bringing potions and saline solution into the wizard. A few gentle circles rubbed along his back and Snape slipped back under cuddled tight against Black.  
  
Now Lupin cleaned up, removing the bowl and mug, wiping the nearly clean face with a warm damp washcloth. Fussing with covers and he kissed Snape's forehead then his mate's responsive lips.  
  
Love you, Lupin whispered with a smile.  
  
Love you, Black managed, stilling one last kiss before Lupin sat back.  
  
Love you, too, Sev, Lupin stroked the sleeping man's hair eliciting a chuckle from his mate.  
  
I don't think he's going to join us in this set of declarations, Black pointed out. Lupin sighed.  
  
He wouldn't even if he were awake. Severus completely cut  
himself off from me, from us. He's told me he's glad I'm here,  
that he's going to miss us when we leave, Lupin told his mate.  
  
He doesn't know he's back in the loop. That he really was never  
out of your heart. That the greasy git has managed to capture  
my heart, too, Black murmured as he now kissed the Potions Master. They watched the sleeping wizard resettle into sleep.  
  
We will just have to slowly convince him of our intent, then, Lupin suggested as he looked at Black.  
  
Oh, yes. It will take some time, but we will help him understand  
that we both want to be with him, Black replied.  
  
  



	9. Chapter 9: Ensnared

Title: When Harry Left Severus  
  
rating: R for adult themes including male/male relationships.   
  
Chapter 9 - Ensnared  
  
by: Raven Dancer  
  
disclaimer: All characters belong to J.K. Rowling except for the Drs. Barnes, Daniel Murphy and Beryl. I receive no monetary compensation for these works.  
  
  
  
When Harry woke he immediately reached for Vachel. It took a few minutes for him to reorient himself and remember he was not at home, not in France. He was still at Hogwarts. It certainly was no longer evening, given that the sun was brightening his window. But if it were morning or afternoon he wasn't sure.  
  
There were clean robes laying on a nearby chair as well as a small collection of things for the washroom. Picking these up Harry busied himself with his morning routine rather than think on why he was here. He found his head would ache some days if he thought too closely about what was happening around him.  
  
That was a strange thought. He remembered getting headaches from thinking about who he'd met and what he'd done when he was at Vachel's. He allowed his mind to wander a bit and recalled Dobby refusing to help him the night before. And that security officer going on about him being involved with the happenings at Snape's manor.  
  
OW! That made his head hurt, thinking on the manor. He discarded that thought and went back to the night before. All three wizards had insisted he get scanned and looked over by the Healer. He could recall most of the conversation without any problems. So weird!  
  
They were all concerned he'd had something to do with the destruction of the manor. He could remember seeing Lupin and Hermione there, sifting through the debris with no problem. He then tried to recall when he went with Vachel to save his godfather from Snape. The pain in his head welled up again and he leaned against the porcelain sink hissing. That hurt!  
  
Showered, brushed and groomed the young wizard pulled on clean robes and went back out into the bedroom. The bed was already made and a tray sat on the table. Dr. Jeffrey Barnes was pouring out two steaming mugs of tea.  
  
Good morning Mr. Potter, the Healer nodded pleasantly.  
Beryl has brought up a nice selection of breads and toppings. Harry moved towards the table and sat down, accepting the mug of tea.  
  
What time is it? Harry decided to at least be polite. This Healer had always been polite and concerned. Well, so had his father, but he liked Jeffrey more.  
  
It's just after 8. I didn't know if you'd want to go down to  
breakfast, Barnes responded.  
  
Oh, am I allowed out of my rooms? Harry retorted sarcastically and immediately wondered where the vitriol had come from. The Healer watched him carefully noting the rush of anger.  
  
Yes, you are. Although you are to stay within the castle for  
the time being, he explained calmly.  
  
Oh, so I guess I didn't pass the scan last night, eh? Harry reached over and selected an interesting scone. Barnes nudged the cream and jellies closer.  
  
Unfortunately, you passed but I don't think you are going to   
like the results yet. Maybe in a few days you'll think better of  
them, Barnes said before biting into a piece of buttered pumpkin bread. Harry glared.   
Dr. James found a few odd readings, your endocrine levels are  
off. He seems to think that this, coupled with two spells he  
disarmed last night, left you susceptible to the spell caster.   
  
Oh, and I suppose you all agree Vachel has captured me and  
is using me for his own purposes? Harry spat out angrily.  
  
That is Albus' opinion. Murphy is more inclined you were being  
manipulated by one of Vachel's guests, Barnes agreed pleasantly.  
  
And your father's? Harry said snidely.  
  
Oh, Da has no opinion on who cast the spells or gave you the  
potions. He's more concerned with the memory blocks he found, Barnes said with calculated disinterest.  
  
Harry now screamed out in anger. That's rich, you  
think that I've not only been trapped in some evil plot but my   
mind's been tampered with on top of it all?? You people  
are paranoid just like Snape. No one has manipulated me at all at   
Vachel's. That was Snape's specialty.  
  
Barnes simply smiled and ate some more bread.  
  
You're full of shit. No way. Vachel loves me! We are going to  
exchange vows at the Winter Solstice, Harry pouted. He was suddenly not liking Jeffrey Barnes any longer. Arrogant ass!  
  
Well, then, the good news is you'll be free and available long  
before the solstice to go back to be with Vachel. Murphy is  
only requiring you stay here for two weeks. If Dr. James is right  
and you were under a suggestibility potion then it should wear  
off in a few days, Barnes countered.  
  
Then I can go by the week's end! Harry asserted.  
  
No, you'll be here two weeks. After the potion has cycled out  
I'm going to remove those memory blocks. We know that none   
of us put them there and we know Severus could not. They are  
not old, barely six months old at best. Once those are gone  
and you and I've had a few chats, then you are free to stay or   
go, Barnes replied.  
  
But what about Vachel? Harry whined.  
  
An owl has been sent saying you've taken ill. He was invited to  
come and stay with you, the Healer said offhand. He neglected to mention it was an old, slow owl they sent overseas and that it had been firmly suggested Vachel didn't show up until the following week. Nor did he mention all incoming mail and packages for Harry would be thoroughly screened before it came to him.  
  
Can I write Vachel? Harry asked.  
  
Of course. There is parchment and such in the desk I believe.  
Beryl will be happy to either send it for you or bring you an owl  
if you prefer, Barnes told him.  
  
And I can move about the castle? Harry asked suspiciously.  
  
Barnes immediately affirmed. In fact I believe your  
friend Hermione Granger said she'd love to have you visit her  
down in the dungeons. Harry thought about this and decided that might be ok.  
  
How is Severus? Harry suddenly asked and watched as the Healer's friendly countenance shifted slightly.  
  
He is doing as well as can be expected. Most of the injuries  
were healed but he's going to need time. He's still weak from   
the final battle. Wizards just don't lose significant parts of their  
strength and bounce back quickly. It took Albus nearly three  
years after defeating Grindelwald to regain his strength from what  
I understand, Barnes explained.  
  
I never did find out what was hurt, Harry fished about. Barnes cooled more and simply looked over the young wizard.  
  
Severus suffered from blunt-force trauma to the head breaking  
both his jaw and his nose resulting in part of his brain swelling.  
He was in a coma three days and is still greatly disoriented. We  
feel there will be no permanent damaged there. His ribs on his  
right side were cracked. These too were healed. The rest of the  
damage was caused by repeated blows to his groin area including  
his inner thighs. The swelling has been reduced and he should   
have no problem physically, Barnes enunciated each problem with a minimum of words.  
  
Harry just stared. Oh, Black had mentioned he'd been beaten, but not the specifics. He wondered how Snape could have been hurt so badly and chained to the wall between the time he left the room and the manor had been destroyed. He winced as his head ached at the memory.  
  
Are you all right Harry? Barnes asked, touching his temple. A thin stream of energy flowed in and removed the pain.  
  
Just a bit of a headache, Harry reported. Barnes looked at him carefully.  
  
Has this bit of a headache' been troubling you long? the Healer pursued.  
  
Harry lied, not wanting to have to think about when the headaches had actually started. He pulled away from Barnes.  
I think I will go down to the dungeons now. Sorry that Severus  
was hurt.  
  
Barnes watched as Harry left the room quickly.  
  
he whispered to himself. Then he called for Beryl. The elf appeared from the corner and waited at his side.  
  
Beryl, you remember your duties? Barnes asked the elf.  
  
Beryl care for Mr. Potter. Beryl watches Mr. Potter, the elf responded.  
Beryl keep Mr. Potter in castle. Beryl takes any things given  
to Mr. Potter.  
  
Unless Dr. James or I give something to him, Barnes concluded. Beryl nodded quickly.  
Good. I know you will do a wonderful job Beryl. Now off with   
you! With a smile bright enough to light the dungeons themselves Beryl disappeared out the door.  
  
The Healer set his tea down. Even though he knew Potter was under the influence of a potions he was still upset. On one hand his anger was an honest, normal reaction as the young man had hurt a dear friend of his. On the other hand he was a Healer and as such had ethical obligations to help those who were ill and should not allow his personal feelings get in the way.  
  
Screw it. He was going to refer the little butt to another therapist as soon as this obligation was finished. Two weeks and no more! His contemplation of the tea tray was interrupted by a sharp knock at the door.  
  
he called as he stood up. The door opened and Dumbledore walked in.  
  
the Headmaster asked.  
  
Gone down to see Ms. Granger. Beryl is watching, Barnes reported.  
I was just coming back upstairs to see if Severus is awake.  
  
Read this first, then we can go upstairs together. I received  
it by owl at breakfast, Dumbledore handed a parchment to the younger Healer. With a questioning look Barnes scanned the parchment.  
  
_Dear Headmaster,  
I apologize for troubling you, but I do not know exactly  
who to go to. My youngest son, Ron, returned home today  
upset and confused. He seems to think that your friend,   
Professor Snape, is in some kind of danger. He cannot tell me  
exactly why and the more he tries the worse he feels. We had  
the local doctor in to see him but he couldn't find anything wrong.  
I would greatly appreciate your opinion on the matter as well  
as letting the Professor Snape know about the situation if you  
deem it important. Thanking you in advance.  
Sincerely,  
Molly Weasley_  
  
So, Mr. Weasley was affected as well, Barnes commented as he handed the letter back. Dumbledore folded the parchment and tucked it away in his robe.  
  
It appears so. Your father has gone out to scan Ron. He will  
bring him back at the least, possibly Molly if she is alone. Until  
the potions wear off we won't know how far-reaching this plot  
is, the Headmaster said. He pushed on the door and held it as the Healer walked out into the hall. Together they headed for the tower offices.  
  
You going to owl Murphy? Barnes asked.  
  
On its way, Dumbledore replied. They walked on in silence.  
  
  
  



	10. Chapter 10: Changing Relationships

Title: When Harry Left Severus  
  
rating: R for adult themes including male/male relationships.   
  
Chapter 10 - Changing Relationships  
by: Raven Dancer  
  
disclaimer: All characters belong to J.K. Rowling except for the Drs. Barnes, Daniel Murphy and Beryl. I receive no monetary compensation for these works.  
  
  
  
  
When Snape woke he was warm and completely relaxed. Someone was holding him loosely. Where was he anyway? Eyes slipped open and bemusedly looked about. Everything seemed so familiar. Curtains, windows full of blue sky, even the scent of soap was known to him. He inhaled deeply and pushed against his human pillow.  
  
Severus, good morning, rumbled a voice both under him and above him. A hand began describing small circles over his back lulling him into peaceful reflection. He was in Albus' rooms. Safe. He began to reach back and figure out why he was here.   
  
Must have been hurt. That was the main reason he ever landed on the lounge by the window. Although it wasn't Albus that was holding him. Hmmmm. He'd been at home and he'd been hurt. Digging through available memories he was suddenly assaulted by the overwhelming helplessness of being restrained and being kicked over and over and over again. Snape clenched up into a fetal roll.  
  
a voice broke through his walls of recollection.  
  
It's ok... safe... another voice? Snape shook as he clutched at his arm trying to remove a non-existent metal band tear into his flesh.  
  
Oh, Severus, love, we have you! Again he paused, trying to focus on that soothing voice so far away. Hands on him. Gentle hands making the pain go away. He opened his eyes again and stared at his wrists. Unencumbered by the manacle he'd imagined only a moment before. No blood, no torn flesh. Just his wrists.   
  
And someone's hands running softly over them.  
  
See Severus? No chains. You are safe. Sirius took the metal  
restraints off and we brought you to Dr. James, the second voice said. Lupin? Was that Lupin?  
  
Snape managed to form his old lover's name.  
he hissed. He was pulled up into those strong arms and felt lips against his face: forehead, eyes, cheek, brushing his lips. Lifting his hand he wiped the remnants of tears away before focusing on his comforter.  
  
Snape said softly.  
  
Good morning Severus, Black soothed back tangled hair. Snape leaned into the welcome touch and rested his head back on the animagus' chest.  
  
Never thought I'd see the day I was glad to see you, Snape joked lamely.  
  
The feeling's mutual, Black retorted gently. He rocked the Potions Master.   
  
So I see that our resident patient is awake, Jeffrey Barnes' voice drifted over from the open door. As he came across the room Lupin stood up to let the Healer check on his friend.  
  
Yes, just now in fact, the werewolf reported. The Healer scanned his patient.  
  
My goodness, your heart is beating a trifle too fast, Barnes commented.  
  
Nightmare. But you're feeling better now, hmmm? Black soothed as his voice rumbled up from his chest tickling Snape's ear.  
  
Sorry, Jeffrey, I, I remembered someone kicking me and, and  
being chained, the ill wizard admitted. A thin stream of energy filled him.  
  
Yes, you were hurt. Do you remember who was there? the Healer asked. Best to let Snape work through the attack when he was able to. Dumbledore sat down next to the lounge and smiled softly at his friend.  
  
Tell us what you recall, Severus. You're safe with us, the Headmaster said patting his friend's thigh. Snape looked at the four men, four people he trusted. He looked up at Dumbledore, the one person who'd been there for him for endless years and reached out.  
  
Shifting around Snape soon found himself curled up against his mentor. Lupin had slipped in on his other side tightly sandwiching him on the lounge as Black sat down in the recently vacated chair. With a contented sigh the Potions Master relaxed a bit more.  
  
I remember Harry and Vachel coming into the morning room. I  
stood up and faced them. Harry didn't stay long, he was furious,  
kept shouting how I'd kept him trapped for months, how I kept   
Remus and Sirius locked away. I tri-tried to talk with him but he  
was so focused on being trapped that Vachel told him to go and  
find his godfather, Snape shuddered as he recalled the angry   
eyes.  
I was thinking that something seemed wrong with Harry when  
Vachel took out his wand and destroyed the wards over the   
windows. Stupid. I was so stupid. I didn't change them when  
Harry left, even when he started getting angry with me.  
  
Snape closed his eyes and drew in a deep breath.   
  
There were four wizards waiting outside. They shattered the   
windows. They never spoke and I couldn't see their faces   
because they were wearing masks. Death eater's m-m, the Potions Master stopped. Dumbledore simply held him close, letting Snape hide in his beard and robes.  
  
That's enough for now, the Headmaster said, both to Snape and the listeners. Although his friend was not crying he was trembling uncontrollably. Lupin found himself quickly replaced by the hands-on Healer who simply wrapped himself around his patient and began pulsing him lightly.   
  
Black and Lupin pulled back, deciding it would be best if they worked with Dobby to bring up a hot lunch. As they cleared off the the table they could hear sniffling from the lounge. Lupin looked over, wanting to rush over. His mate pulled him into a comforting hug.  
  
It's ok, Remie, he'll be fine. He has Albus, Jeffrey and you to   
pull him through, Black soothed.  
  
And you, Siri, you too! Lupin countered as he leaned in for a soft kiss.  
  
  
  
  
Lunch arrived. Dobby carried a large mug of chicken noodle soup to his master. It was accepted and soon Snape was full of the warm liquid.   
  
Thank you Dobby, that was very good, the Potions Master murmured sleepily. The Healer had managed to calm him with judicious pulsing.  
  
Sleep for me, Severus. A little nap, Barnes soothed. Snape's eyes were blinking, fighting against the inevitable. Stepping up his crusade the Healer nudged him against his chest and began to rub small circles of warmth across his patient's back.   
  
Another face-splitting yawn. Snape actually curled into the Healer as his hands pushed into robes and held on lightly. With a smile curving on Barnes' lips he hummed an old lullaby until his patient was finally asleep.   
  
Lupin nearly melted into the ground. Judging by his mate's shallow breath he was in much the same shape. They both wanted to fling the Healer aside and protect the Potions Master. Well, that and cuddle him close.   
  
*for merlin's sake, no wonder Remie loves him!* Black thought dimly. He knew part of his attraction to Snape was his own protective streak. Snape was completely defenseless and vulnerable. But the animagus also knew the sleeping wizard was physically appealing.   
  
Suddenly both wizards realized they were being watched. And not by a benevolent force. Turning slightly both were ensnared in the Headmaster's steely gaze. If Black thought he felt protective of the black-haired wizard he had nothing on Albus Dumbledore!   
  
Perhaps you two would like to go shopping today? the Headmaster actually growled.  
I have contacted Gringotts and have arranged for you to pick  
up a debit card. You can shop in Diagon Alley and out in Muggle  
London.  
  
Um, well, I thought perhaps we'd stay around to help Severus  
since you'll be busy with school business, Lupin managed to say with a perfectly sincere face. Dumbledore's right eyebrow twitched upwards in disbelief.  
  
He's not slept well these past few nights... Black tried to support his friend's statement.  
  
Perhaps if he weren't constantly levitated from his bed and  
passed around to cuddle constantly he'd manage more than an  
hour or two at a time, Dumbledore said sternly.  
  
I don't think we're the only one to move Severus about the  
room Albus! Lupin huffed. Seemed to him the Headmaster moved Snape as often as they did.   
  
Perhaps not but at least I don't seem to be drooling over him, the older wizard retorted, stunning them for a moment.   
  
FIne, _Albus_, Black drawled. We'll go _shopping_ and leave   
Severus free from our _drooling_! The animagus pulled Lupin hard and they stormed out of the room. Barnes watched with growing interest.  
  
Um, Albus? What exactly was all that about? the Healer asked innocently enough. He watched Dumbledore jerk around in agitation as he practically stomped back to the lounge.  
  
Those two! the Headmaster hissed, they want to play with  
my child! And I don't mean a game of exploding snaps!  
  
again, the innocent questioner managed to look confused. Dumbledore glared at the Healer trying to assess if he were being mocked.   
  
Play, as in having their way with him and then dumping him when  
they've had their fun. Severus does not need another affair  
ending with being cast aside when something better comes along.  
He doesn't deserve to have his heart shattered, the Headmaster seethed. His roiling anger surprised Barnes but he was wise enough not to press on that.  
  
I don't think having your mate returned to you after 12 years   
something better', Barnes said carefully. Dumbledore's righteous rage dimmed somewhat.  
And I believe Severus chose to shelter young Harry. Otherwise  
they would have separated much earlier on.  
  
Yes, you're right. But I am worried about Severus, here the Headmaster reached over to touch his sleeping friend.  
He's lost everything! He's completely vulnerable and I can see  
he's come to rely on Remus and Sirius as completely as he does  
on me. What's going to happen when Harry comes to his senses  
and is free from his magical entrapment? I don't think Sev could  
stand the heart break of losing his home _and_ his new protectors  
  
You are assuming that Remus and Sirius will leave with Harry, Barnes stated flatly. Snape twitched slightly, dreaming, and he soothed away the forming dream with a mild suggestion and energy pulse.  
  
Yes, I am assuming that. Sirius adores Harry. He wants to be  
with him, form a family. He's said that often enough during the  
months at St. Mungo's and at the manor, Dumbledore replied tersely. Barnes nodded in agreement. He recalled the animagus saying many times he just wanted to settle down where ever his godson was and enjoy life.   
  
I remember him saying that, but I also have had much more   
recent conversations with him and Remus about staying with  
Severus, Barnes said.  
You are aware that Remus still loves Severus deeply? That  
even though he has Sirius back he does not want to lose Severus  
again? The look Dumbledore gave him showed plainly this was a new bit of information and not entirely believed.  
  
I understand you want to protect Severus. It is completely   
reasonable to protect your child. But I ask you to be open to  
the possibility Remus and Sirius want to continue their friendship  
with Severus and very possibly explore a sexual relationship with  
him, Barnes said bluntly.  
  
This latter concept went over like a proverbial lead balloon.  
  
Oh, right, Dumbledore said scornfully.  
  
*tough audience*, Barnes sighed to himself.  
  
Remus was devastated when he found out how much Severus  
missed him. It seems your child is a master of containing his  
feelings, the Healer launched the next attack.  
  
Well, what good would it have done to pursue Remus? He's  
mated to Sirius. It goes without saying any relationship Severus  
had enjoyed with Remus was over with! Werewolves mate for  
life! Dumbledore asserted.   
If they are interested in bedding my child it's only for the  
experience, not for a relationship!   
  
Oh Joy! The Headmaster was back to hissing through clenched teeth. Barnes sadly shook his head, not believing Dumbledore was so ignorant, blindly accepting the societal lies about werewolves.  
  
Wolves mate for life. Werewolves are not wolves, they are   
people that have a disease! Werewolves do not mate for life.  
That myth has been perpetrated for ages. Remus might have  
made different choices if he'd not been constrained by the  
racist upbringing of the wizarding world, Barnes shot back firmly. He began to card his fingers through Snape's tangled hair working out knots to soothe himself. At the very least Dumbledore was silent, working out the latest bit of information the Healer had provided.  
  
You're telling me the experts lied? growled the Headmaster.  
  
I am saying, _Albus_, that the experts have continued to report  
the same erroneous piece of information for centuries and not  
bothered to even do a study on it. There is no pool of money  
for research for the sexual lives of such creatures, Barnes snarled back.  
Although there's tons of it to contain and destroy them. I'm  
surprised given how good you've been to Remus over the years  
you didn't think about why he was so upset when Severus was  
nearly killed by Voldemort. Not to mention able to have a lasting  
sexual relationship with him even though his mate was alive. If you  
believe they mate for life.  
  
The Healer was now actually glaring.   
  
How do you know so much about werewolves? Dumbledore asked suspiciously.  
  
Whereas the science community has no interest in werewolves;  
Severus has been an exception although I suppose you'd   
attribute his interest as self-serving, the therapists community has  
had begun to take interest. As counseling has become more   
acceptable in our society, more people can take advantage of  
therapy. I've had several patients that are werewolves and have  
many colleagues that have also. Since we actually discuss and   
share our knowledge I can confidently say Werewolves do not  
mate for life, Barnes stated definitively, his expression brooking no negative comments.  
  
Well, be that as it may, Remus has been with Sirius and continued  
their relationship. Where would Severus fit in? As a play toy when  
they're bored? Dumbledore was not going to give up easily. This was his child they were discussing!   
  
Barnes simply pulled Snape closer to him, resettling blankets silently and curled into a new energy feed. He knew that the Headmaster was not going to give in and consider what he'd been told right now. The information had to be assimilated. It wouldn't hurt to see Lupin and Black caring for Snape either. He hoped the two would think to buy something for the ill wizard.  
  



	11. Chapter 11: Continued Entrapments

Title: When Harry Left Severus  
  
rating: R for adult themes including male/male relationships.   
  
Chapter 11 - Continued Entrapments  
by: Raven Dancer  
  
disclaimer: All characters belong to J.K. Rowling except for the Drs. Barnes, Daniel Murphy and Beryl. I receive no monetary compensation for these works.  
  
  
  
Life rarely went smoothly Harry reflected as he sat down to dinner with Hermione. He'd worked most of the day in the dungeons hardly speaking. To be fair Hermione was busy teaching and finals were coming up the following week. Now they sat in less than companionable silence because the only conversation they managed to have dredged up his behavior in France.  
  
Strangely, France with Vachel was very smooth. He missed his lover! For the hundredth time that day he wished the thin French man was sitting next to him instead of a frizzy-haired witch.  
  
Hermione was still angry about being deserted in a wide variety of bars. Multiple times. Harry had gone off with new friends and left her. Of course, several times she'd gone back to the hotel only to find him in a variety of inconvenient stages of undress with some of those friends.  
  
Not that Ron had acted much better. He'd left many times and done much the same thing. Too bad they hadn't co-ordinated better and inconvenienced Hermione on different nights. But for some reason she had taken the most exception to his cavorting with friends before he'd told Snape about no longer being interested in their relationship.  
  
He knew Hermione was brilliant. He just didn't know she was a bloody prude as well.  
  
It was Hermione's final act, making him write Snape to say he was seeing other people before she'd stomped back to Hogwarts to resume teaching. He'd never actually sent the parchment. And Harry had been stupid enough to tell her that just that afternoon. He didn't even know why he told her! He'd been talking about Vachel and then Snape and then, after laughing a long time about Snape's reaction to seeing Vachel face to face, wondered aloud what he would have looked like if he had sent that parchment.  
  
He idly stirred his barley soup, his attention diverted from thinking about Snape and Vachel in the morning room very quickly. Maybe he should tell the Healer about the headache that kept coming and going.   
  
Harry's attention was drawn to the back of the great hall. Dumbledore was coming into the room and he had several people with him. As they drew closer he realized that he knew two of them: Molly Weasley and her son Bill. A third wizard looked vaguely familiar, but he couldn't place him.  
  
As they moved closer he saw that the Headmaster's face was still stern. In fact Bill and the unknown wizard looked his way with less than happy expressions. But Molly caught his eye and gave him a warm smile. Harry nearly burst into tears.  
  
The three wizards sat down at the far end of the staff table. Molly walked passed them and came around to the empty chair next to the young wizard. She opened her arms and drew him into a tight hug.  
  
Harry, I'm so glad to see you again! the older witch said warmly. When she finally released him, again with that same accepting smile, she reached over and touched Hermione.  
  
Professor Granger! Molly gushed mischievously. My nephew  
can't say enough wonderful things about your class! Hermione's eyes twinkled in delight and she flushed slightly.  
  
Well, then, I'd best reconsider that fail mark! she teased right back. The two women shared a chuckle.   
  
Harry settled happily between the two witches who now conversed about both Hogwarts and the Burrow as they ate. He didn't feel compelled to join in much, although it was very soothing to listen to the calm chatter. It also kept him from thinking too much about Vachel.  
  
  
Dumbledore kept a watchful eye on Harry. He was truly appreciated Molly Weasley's ability to accept the young man was not himself. He had trouble with dealing with that knowledge. He could not believe Harry had been that easily snared.   
  
He sighed. He'd become too jaded since the death of Voldemort. Watching the hoopla and minor riots of fanatics chasing after many of the of the great war. Watching his own child tossed aside. It really was time to retire.  
  
But to where? They'd have to tell Snape about his manor. Perhaps they could find a new place to live. Snape did have his family fortune squirreled away in Gringotts and Dumbledore himself was not by any means poor. He decided he'd have to convince Snape to start over at the least. Share a household was even better.  
  
And probably with Lupin and Black. He had to admit, if only to himself, they did both care for Snape. In fact they'd put together quite a nice wardrobe for the ill wizard. The clothing had been sent with Dobby to be washed along with their own new things.  
  
Turning back to his companions he considered what he'd heard from Bill and the Weasley's physician, Dr. Atterly. It seems Ron was suffering from the same set of spells and potion blend as Harry. He did not have any memory blocks in place. The younger Weasley had continued traveling alone after his friends separated. He'd only recently joined Harry at his country home.  
  
Ron was now sequestered in his own small suite sleeping under Winky's watchful eye. Dumbledore had convinced Molly and Bill, who was at home recuperating from an accident at Gringotts, to come stay at Hogwarts until the mystery surrounding Ron and Harry was cleared up. Arthur Weasley was completely tied up at the Ministry and would stay in London with his twin sons.  
  
The Headmaster hoped the poor wizard would be safe with those two pranksters.   
  
  
  
  
The Headmaster was very pleased that Snape had slept the night without pain or nightmare. It didn't bother him, much, that Jeffrey had allowed Lupin and Black to tuck him in _their_ bed. Now the ill wizard was curled once more on the lounge tucked under Dr. James' chin being pulsed with healing energy.   
  
All the swellings were down and the bruises had for the most part become brownish yellow reminders of the abuse. IVs were done and the collection bag was gone. Now they'd start on the emotional turmoil the wizard was suffering. Snape was dangerously close to slipping into depression. Accepting a refill from Black the Headmaster turned back to his breakfast.   
  
So, what do you want us to go shopping for today, Albus? Black mischievously asked as he flashed the debit card.  
  
Oh, yesss, Albus! I've never had an unlimited Visa in my  
life! Lupin chimed in with a grin. Dumbledore shook his head ruefully.  
  
Perhaps I was a bit energetic in dismissing you both   
yesterday, the Headmaster began. But I am very   
concerned about Severus!  
  
So are we, Lupin said softly. Dumbledore carefully looked both men over.  
  
I know you are, Remus, but it's hard for me. No one's cared  
about Severus for years, the Headmaster grudgingly admitted.  
Well, Dr. James and Jeffrey do. It's just that you have   
talked so often about joining Harry. And now it looks as if  
Harry is going to soon be back to himself. He left the conclusions alone. Black and Lupin both glanced at one another uncomfortably. Yes. Harry would soon be all right again. But Black had no desire to go live with the young man any more. Oh, he wanted to be able to see him often, but the need to be with him daily had diminished.  
  
I will be happy to have my godson in control of himself  
once again. But I can't see us living with him, Black commented.  
He has his own life to lead and I would be much too over  
protective.  
  
I have noticed a slight tendency to be over-protective, Lupin murmured stifling a smile. Dumbledore was about to make his own comments about the territorial animagus when a sharp *CRACK* split the air and a very distraught house elf materialized in the middle of the breakfast dishes.  
  
Beryl! What's wrong? the Headmaster immediately had his teacup dashed from his hand as a terrified elf dove onto his lap, burying his hands and face into the wizard's robes.   
  
oh oh oh oh! he cried out, Master Harry is going to kill  
Beryl. Master Harry is going to kill Beryl! The poor creature was starting to set up a wail when a second *CRACK* sounded and a second house elf appeared on the table.  
  
Headmaster! Mr. Potter is angry. Mr. Potter is coming to  
hurt Beryl! Dobby chattered in great agitation.  
  
Um, you did remove Harry's wand? Black asked with concern.  
  
Yes, we did, Dumbledore managed to get out, now two elves were clinging to him.  
  
Dobby? Dobby, come here. The Headmaster has enough  
on his hands with Beryl, Snape called. Much to Dr. James disapproval the Potions Master had managed to sit up and break out of his hold. Now the wizard was moving across the room towards the breakfast table.  
  
Dobby abandoned the Headmaster and went straight for Snape. But the elf did not jump on him or knock against him as everyone in the room had feared. The elf simply stood leaning against his leg wrapping arms around his knee. The Potions Master slipped into a chair near the table to quietly talk to the trembling elf.  
  
But even this lull didn't last long for suddenly the office door swung open with such force two portraits fell off the wall with a *thump* thoroughly waking the snoozing headmasters within.  
  
BERYL! GIVE ME THAT PACKET NOW! SO HELP ME MERLIN  
I'LL RIP YOUR FUCKING HEAD OFF! Harry Potter stormed into the room his face dark with anger. Black and Lupin rose from the table and moved to shield the elf still trying to hide in the Headmaster's robes. Dr. James simply drew his wand and moved by Snape.   
  
Harry, what is the matter? Black tried to catch his godson's attention.  
  
That damned elf took a package that Vachel sent me! the young wizard fumed.  
AND I WANT IT NOW!  
  
Harry, Albus probably asked him to collect all your mail, Lupin inserted reasonably.  
  
He can't do that! I'm not under arrest! I DEMAND MY MAIL! Harry raged moving closer to the Headmaster and elf in question.  
  
Harry, all mail coming into Hogwarts is screened at some  
level, Black tried again. In his fury Harry swung around to face his godfather and caught sight of Snape. If anything the wizard became even more irate.  
  
I understand now! He's here! Snape's gone and had that,   
that disgusting creature steal my things! Harry hissed. Behind him Molly Weasley came through the door slightly out of breath. She'd chased him through the castle from the Great Hall.  
  
she panted, Harry, calm down!  
  
I WILL NOT CALM DOWN! I DID NOTHING WRONG! YOU CAN'T  
KEEP ME HERE AGAINST MY WILL! Harry's voice was beginning to break under the exertion.  
  
I DID NOT HAVE ANYTHING TO DO WITH SNAPE'S GETTING   
BEATEN! he shrieked, Although it was well deserved, the  
goddamn bastard! Snape blanched slightly but did not react otherwise. Dobby quivered uncontrollably as he clung tighter.  
And contrary to what you all believe I had nothing to do  
with HIS GOD DAMN HOUSE GETTING BLOWN TO DUST!   
  
Now several things happened. But the major movement belonged to Molly who swept across the room and slapped the very out-of-control wizard across the face completely derailing his tantrum. He stared at her, stunned into silence, the color draining from his face as well as his anger as he fingered his reddening cheek.  
  
Harry Potter, whether you believe us or not you  
have been ensnared by this Vachel creature. You are not  
in control of yourself and you won't be until the potions  
he used have left your system. And you certainly won't  
know the extent he's used you until those memory blocks  
have been removed from your mind, Molly said firmly as she squared herself in front of Harry.  
You will apologize to these men and elves and then   
YOU WILL GO TO YOUR ROOM AND STAY THERE UNTIL I SAY   
YOU MAY LEAVE!  
  
If a pin had dropped the noise would have deafened the occupants of the room. Harry's mouth had flopped open and he stared at the fiery red head in front of him. He'd never, never seen her so upset and it was all directed at him. gods, he was going to cry just from the shame of upsetting her so.  
  
I'm, I'm, I'm, sorry, Harry eked out, throat raw from all his yelling. Tears started to roll down his cheeks and he had not broken eye contact with the formidable witch. She reached out and pulled him close.  
  
I know you are Harry. Let's get down to your rooms and  
have you rest, Molly moved carefully and walked slowly out the door. The stunned silence hung over the room as the door softly closed behind the retreating figures. Both Lupin and Dumbledore let out the breaths they'd been holding as Black sunk back in his chair.  
  
My gods, that poor child, Dumbledore began as he rocked the shaking elf. Dobby crept over to make sure Beryl was ok.  
  
The potions create compulsions toward the ensnarer, Dr. James explained.  
He's gone nearly three days without Vachel and he's  
near his breaking point.  
  
Well, he's also about cycled through so if he can hold out  
another day or so he'll be fine, Black added.  
  
They were so shell shocked from the raw display of anger they all missed Snape slipping out of the room. He simply walked into Dumbledore's bedroom and closed the door without a sound. Continued to walk until he came to the wizard's immense closet and opened the door, walked in and closed that. Moved as far back into the dark and curled up into a small ball against the back wall.  
  
His home? His home was gone? Harry had said it was blown to dust. He knew of very few dark spells that could completely destroy a structure of stone and heavy wood such as his. Few, but effective.   
  
Deep down he knew it was the same group that beat him into the mess he was now. When they were stopped from beating him to death they did the next most horrible thing they could. All that he had, all that he treasured, was gone.   
  
Worse, was there a worse? There was nothing he could do about any of it. He couldn't retaliate. No one at the ministry would bother seeking any sort of justice. Not for the disgusting Severus Snape. He'd be lucky if he could even go to Gringotts to withdraw enough for renting a room in Hogsmeade without being laughed out of the Leaky Cauldron.  
  
And he couldn't even stay here with Albus because he was retiring. Retiring and there was no place for him to stay. Well, the wizard did still have his beach house and Snape was certain that there were more than enough magical folk who'd take the great Dumbledore in for as long as he needed a place to stay.  
  
But not Severus Snape.  
  
He sat in his own despair for a very long time.  
  
  
  
  



	12. Chapter 12: The Abyss

Title: When Harry Left Severus   
rating: R for adult themes including male/male relationships.   
  
Chapter 12 - The Abyss   
by: Raven Dancer  
  
disclaimer: All characters belong to J.K. Rowling except for the Drs. Barnes, Daniel Murphy and Beryl. I receive no monetary compensation for these works.  
  
  


************~************  


It wasn't like waking up because he hadn't been asleep. It was more like the entire world blinked and became aware of the miserable bundle of emotional rags curled up in a tight ball.   
  
Jeffrey felt the movement, a slight tremble that seemed to come from the middle of the wizard's stomach.   
  
he called and the second Healer moved by him, putting his hands on the wretched mess. Together they pulsed and rubbed, cuddled and coerced until Snape released his body and let them stretch him out. He supposed he must have cried; his shirt was wet and slimed. It was removed as well as his pants. A warm washcloth ran over him until he was clean enough for them.  
  
Not that he cared. Not that the touching and comfort felt remotely good. He didn't care. But they'd never let him leave unless he pretended to be better. Then with a clean conscious they could release him into the world.  
  
And he could disappear like the world wanted him to.  
  
At the least that was what his shattered mind told him at that moment. The mind that conveniently forgot these wizards would never let him go. He dully looked about, saw that the breakfast dishes had been abandoned to the table. Saw the looks of what he thought was shame on the faces of Lupin and Black. Saw his mentor whom he'd let down most of all.  
  
But there were no tears left in him. No more sadness. Just an emptiness.   
  
Sorry, Dr. James, Jeffrey. Just was a bit taken aback. I'll  
be fine, Snape said evenly, lying through his teeth. Perhaps if he could get dressed he could go out for a walk. A long walk...   
  
But he had no clothes. At least, none of his own. He vaguely recalled coming from the clinic to the Headmaster's rooms. No, no clothing at all. This would require some careful planning, getting clothes and leaving. He wondered if Dumbledore would miss one set of robes? He had such a large closetful. He glanced at the bedroom door and considered the possibility.  
  
And it was cold. So very cold. The warmth from the washcloth forgotten as waves of blackness crashed over him. Not even a robe left. He knew they were laughing at him. All of them. Even if there was no sound anymore. The silence of his existence swirled around him. Every time he had thought he'd reached rock bottom during the past several years mocked him as he settled into this latest abyss.  
  
A straw was pushed to his lips, but he didn't sip. He didn't need to drink anything. He only needed to curl up and make everything disappear. He tried, tried to pull his legs up as he felt his body shiver. Cold; ice flowing through his veins.   
  
The straw left. He once more tried to roll up into a small ball but was thwarted by the Healers. Snape was aware of energy pulses coursing through his body but it made no difference. He was nothing. Energy couldn't work unless there was someone to accept it. His head was pulled back and something was shoved between his teeth. Liquid splashed over his tongue and pooled at the back of his throat.  
  
At some point he realized he couldn't breath. There was stuff in his mouth and his nose seemed to be plugged up.  
  
Sputtering, he swallowed the slightly sweet potion and gasped in a few lungfuls of air. He could feel the liquid in his stomach and it seemed to radiate a small kernel of warmth. He gripped his belly wanting to rip it out. He deserved no warmth, no consideration. But his hands were moved away as he felt himself being bound in a blanket. First wrapped around his body, then wrapped firmly around his arms pinioning them to his sides. He considered struggling but discarded the thought as the darkness welled up and he was lost once again.  
  
  
  
  
The world blinked again and he was now warm. So warm. Wrapped up in someone's arms and another wrapped around them both. It was so warm and he listened to the rush of blood, the gentle lub-dub, of the heart beating next to his ear. With a whimper he tried to nestled nearer to that wonderful sound and was immediately allowed to come even closer. Warm air tickled down through his hair against his scalp and he thought he felt something like a kiss pressed against the same spot.  
  
The body behind him cuddled closer. Gentle hands on his face, on his arm, on his thigh. The warmth permeating through him. He'd been upset. Had been upset and had become so cold that it seemed he'd never been warm, never felt anything but ice running through him, surrounding him. Trapping him.  
  
But not now. Now it was all warmth and air, his body surrounded by soft, gentle hands and the soothing heartbeat of whomever some of those hands belonged to. He imagined there was someone talking, the air plosive at times against his hair.  
  
Not talking. Singing. Soft gentle lullabies. As soft and gentle as the hands touching him. He sighed and tumbled finally into sleep. Warm, cleansing sleep.  
  
  
He woke with the sunlight dancing against the wall, spilling across the bed and the smell of a warm spring day well on its way into afternoon. His blanket cocoon was gone. The play of the covers was soothing against his skin. He was nestled between softly-clothed bodies.  
  
Still Warm.  
  
Good afternoon Severus, Dr. James calmly intoned. He'd sent his son to care for Harry and had enlisted Dumbledore, Lupin and Black to alternate in the bed to keep his patient lulled by human touch.  
  
Hullo, Severus, Black greeted the waking wizard with a nuzzle.   
  
Snape managed, wriggling a bit between the two wizards. They let him roll onto his stomach hugging into the warmth of the bed. It felt so incredibly good. Their hands moved up and down the long planes of his back.  
  
It's good you're awake, Severus, Black continued but did not ask any questions, not even do you want breakfast' since Dr. James had forbade any questions of any sort. The Healer moved his face down and kissed Snape's shoulder affectionately.  
  
Dobby decided he would obey Dr. James' rules and asked no questions. He did not even speak as soon as he saw his master was awake, but brought into the bedroom a fragrant dish of chicken and dumplings. Not a question. Simply a statement. Snape's stomach started growling immediately.   
  
The Potions Master sniffed the air. It smelled gooood. What was it? Chicken? Was it rosemary? Questions started filling his mind and he moved onto his side facing Dr. James.  
  
Can I have some? Snape asked, eyes big and pleading. The Healer ran his hand over his patient's face.  
  
Of course, Severus. You may have as much as you'd like, he responded and carefully sat up. Pesky elf! But the Healer was very glad for the wonderful food aromas that added to the comfort of his patient. With Black's help Snape was wrapped in a soft flannel blanket and curled up onto Dr. James' lap. The animagus held the bowl of food under the twitching nose before offering a small bite.  
  
Snape purred with pleasure. It was so impossibly good. The light, the warmth, the food. He knew he'd been upset but he didn't know why. Something about being hurt? But he could not remember, all he could do was focus on here, now, the warmth and the food and the Healer's heart beating beneath his ear.  
  
Dumbledore sat near the bed watching quietly. The Healer had used some extreme potions to calm Snape. They'd all been cautioned not to ask any questions and not to make any conversation within hearing. They were confined to simple, positive statements and very slow, soothing movements.  
  
Snape's collapse had been complete. Unprepared, not over his beating, the loss of his only sanctuary had pushed him over an edge they had been struggling to keep him from. But as horrible as the fall had been Dumbledore was also worried about the potions the Healers forced into his child. Strong, mind-ensnaring potions that were carefully regulated by the medical branch of the ministry.   
  
The irony that Harry, and to a lesser degree Ron, had been trapped by similar drugs was not lost on the Headmaster. The difference was in strength and usage. The Healers had actually given Snape a stronger dosage than either boy. But the dose was not accompanied by the dark spells that controlled the person nearly like an Imperious curse. Nearly, but since it was not the unforgivable curse the punishment was much less than the dementor's kiss or even imprisonment in Azkaban. Black had asked Murphy straight away when the Healers announced the cause of Harry's problems.  
  
The stronger dose left Snape completely susceptible to everyone around him which was exactly why Dr. James was controlling the ill wizard's environment completely. To the point where no one but the Healer was allowed to be left alone with Snape. To the point where no one was allowed to speak or touch Snape unless Dr. James was right there to observe.  
  
Which was a very good thing given how very motivated Black and Lupin were to comfort. Snape was completely vulnerable to any suggestion and would want to please whoever he was with. Given his heightened sensitivity to stimulus any stray hand or comment would certainly elicit a strong response.   
  
Given how much those two men had been drooling before a blissfully erotic Snape would cause some definite problems. Not the least a full heart attack for the Headmaster after he blasted the offending party off the face of the planet.  
  
The taste of rosemary and chicken filled him, but it was the thick bready dumpling that actually overwhelmed Snape. Dr. James rocked and soothed the wizard until he was somewhat calmer, although now he was wrapped tightly into the older wizard, his only reference point in his world.   
  
The original plate of food disappeared and was replaced by a simple mug of warm broth. The straw was pressed passed the passive lips. Snape slowly suckled up the liquid without daring to open his eyes. All the sensations were bombarding him. Before he'd finished the mug the Healer carefully tipped a small vial into the dregs and it was swallowed with the last few sips.  
  
Warm, so warm. He rubbed his face against the warmth and drew in the elusive scent of Dr. James. Yawning he nestled against the heart beating within and lost himself completely in the sound.   
  
He's asleep, Dr. James said quietly.  
  
Severus' better, right? Black asked with a hint of stridency in his voice.   
  
Yes, Severus' is better. He's no longer lost in his   
depression. We will work him through his loss, Dr. James said firmly. There was no doubt in his or his son's mind that the Potions Master would come through. Just some concern about how strong he would eventually be. There had been too many changes, too many life altering events, to let them believe he'd ever be the exact person he was before.  
  
No one would be.  
  
How long will he sleep this time? Dumbledore asked as he moved to the bedside, being sure not to touch until the Healer nodded.  
  
Four or five hours. Do you want to take a turn here so  
I can shower and eat? Dr. James asked lightly. He knew both Black and Lupin wanted to be asked, but he too worried about inadvertent stimulation. Dumbledore was not a concern.  
  
The Headmaster rose and levitated the sleeping wizard. Barnes slipped out and was quickly replaced, Snape barely registered the change. Curled up and smiling faintly he slept on in his oblivion.  
  
  
  
  
Dr. Jeffrey Barnes had his hands full and he briefly wondered if his father had gotten the better end of the deal. This thought was set aside as superfluous. This was his expertise, working with the minds of their patients. Sighing he looked at Harry.  
  
The young wizard was no longer manic, no longer screaming about the injustices done to him by Snape and to a lessor extent Dumbledore. No longer wanting to see his lover so much that he shivered convulsively. He glanced at Molly Weasley and decided he'd have to have a cuppa tea with her sometime. She was a formidable witch who sat through all of Harry's ravings without once breaking.  
  
Next to her was her son Bill. He was pale and drawn from his exertions although Barnes knew the wizard had not been with Harry the entire time. He'd been with his younger brother, Ron. The youngest Weasley wizard was currently with Hagrid, preferring to be busy and far away from his best friend. His own ensnaring potions had completely leeched out of his system during the night. Hence poor Bill's current state.  
  
Sizing up the situation Barnes stood without saying a word to the babbling Harry. Since the potions were finally wearing off the confusion had tripled. He moved past him with a comforting pat to the shoulder and reached out his hand to the Gringott's Cursebreaker.  
  
Come here, Bill. Let's get you settled first, Jeffrey said with a comforting smile. Bill would have refused but his Mother nudged him.  
  
Go on, honey, you've been a wonderful support for me and  
your brother. Let Dr. Barnes help you now, Molly urged. Harry fell silent. Bill was in pain? How did he miss the sharp lines and dark shadows that haunted the older Weasley brother? And why hadn't he asked earlier what had happened to him? He used to be concerned about people, especially people that were like family to him.  
  
He watched as the Healer pulled Bill into a hug, pulsing the tired wizard. As the pulsing continued the red-haired wizard relaxed more and more finally going mostly limp. Harry recalled that there were very few full Healers in the wizarding world and considered the possibility Bill was being treated by a medi-wizard for his illness.  
  
Soon Bill was being placed on the bed and the comforter loosely pulled over him. Molly stood next to Barnes soothing her son's face.  
  
Thank you Jeffrey, Molly said softly. He's had a hard  
time this past month. Barnes patted her shoulder.  
  
Dr. Atterly is very good, he said quietly.  
  
But not a Healer. I am sorry that we have to be here  
because Ron and Harry have been hurt. But I am very  
thankful for Bill; just a few days with you and your father  
have done wonders for him, the witch sighed.  
  
Molly, I hope there isn't a next time' for Bill, but if there  
is then send us an owl or bring him round. Traditional  
healing is good for dragon burns, but what he went through  
really requires a different treatment, Barnes said.  
In fact, perhaps he should stay here for a few weeks. I  
will tend to him. I have to be here for Severus, too. Molly looked relieved, her body sagging slightly before she pulled herself together.  
  
Harry sat burning with curiosity. What had happened to Bill that would require different treatment? The witch seemed to feel the questions being silently asked as she sat down next to the bed and her sleeping child. She looked at Harry with a wane smile.  
  
Bill was trapped in a cave-in while on assignment. He   
and three others. They were lost for only' thirty hours, Molly said with a trace of disgust.  
When they pulled them out one wizard had died from his  
injuries and another was unconscious. Bill and the goblin,  
Osssek, were mostly alert. The broken bones were fixed  
easily enough but he's still disturbed by the dark and closed  
in places.  
  
Harry shuddered. To be trapped underground in the dark must have been horrible.   
  
Being trapped is terrible, whether physically or by spells, Barnes commented, looking directly at Harry. Perhaps it was time to start removing the blocks.  
You, for instance, have been trapped for longer than thirty  
hours, said the Healer. He moved to the chair next to Harry.   
  
The savior of the wizarding world squirmed uncomfortably. He still loved Vachel, but he was confused about his other actions. Why had he been so angry with Snape? He now clearly remembered leaving for France and traveling two weeks with Hermione and Ron meeting many people. He couldn't recall why he'd been so mad. Wincing he touched his forehead. Damned headache.  
  
Barnes prompted.  
  
I have this sharp pain. Whenever I try to remember certain  
events I get a piercing headache, he explained. The Healer came closer and touched his brow nosing about.  
  
What were you just thinking of? Barnes prompted.  
  
Trying to recall why I hated Severus so much. I mean, I  
can vaguely recall our last days together and they don't  
jibe with what I've been OOH... Harry tried to explain when suddenly he felt something jerk in is head; a sharp pain that immediately dulled and disappeared.  
  
And there were his memories of Snape. Warm and prickly like the Potions Master. As he silently explored them he recalled Vachel and some of his friends discussing how horrible Snape had been: how he'd trapped Harry, held him against his will, forced him to have sex.  
  
But that wasn't true! If anything Snape had been hard pressed to get Harry to leave even for a few weeks. And as for the sex part, it seemed in retrospect he'd done all the advances and pushing, not Snape at all. In fact they hadn't had sex at all for weeks before Harry had left for France.  
  
At some point Molly had come to his side and was simply stroking his hair back from his face. With a lost expression he suddenly focused on the witch.  
  
They told me that Snape had hurt me, held me in his home.  
He never did that! Why did I believe them? he lamented.  
  
Because they blocked the true memories and inserted their  
own, Harry. You really had no choice but to believe them, Barnes said very gently.  
  
I don't understand why, the very young-looking wizard whimpered as a few tears rolled down his face.  
  
I'm afraid we're going to have to wait until Officer Murphy  
can locate and retrieve Vachel to find that out, Barnes replied. He took Harry's hand and massaged it gently while Molly ran her hands over his quivering back. This would take some time. 


	13. Chapter 13: Turning Points

Title: When Harry Left Severus  
  
rating: R for adult themes including male/male relationships.   
  
Chapter 13 - Turning Points  
by: Raven Dancer   
  
disclaimer: All characters belong to J.K. Rowling except for the Drs. Barnes, Daniel Murphy and Beryl. I receive no monetary compensation for these works.  
  
  
Officer Daniel Murphy took the stairs of Hogwarts two at a time, lightly running upwards to the great doors. He'd had a long hunt with his partner Taylor, but they'd caught up with Vachel and two of his good friends. Currently they were under house arrest with several British and French aurors standing guard. Best go with the elite group given the circumstances.  
  
He only needed Ron or Harry to identify which was actually Vachel. Iris had been easy after an hour or so and the polyjuice had worn off. But the two men had refused to identify themselves and were currently silently moving about the house looking for ways to escape. Murphy snorted to himself: as if they could escape those aurors!  
  
They had also found a veritable stockpile of various controlled drugs, both magical and muggle. Even if they could not prove these men destroyed Snape's manor, they had them on drug charges. Which allowed the use of veritaserum to obtain full confessions once they had a clear identification of the three wizards.   
  
The French security chief was very helpful but wanted everything legal. He did not want anyone to escape justice because of some slight technicality. Heaven forbid the famous Harry Potter be ensnared in France! Once identities were established all three wizards would be escorted to the British Ministry of Magic for questioning and to ultimately stand trial.   
  
So Murphy was quite sure he had one of the men directly involved in both the beating and the destruction of the manor. Maybe two; Iris did have a nasty punch. Vachel was going to be a little harder to figure out. He hadn't actually hurt Snape but he had been in on the plans and he'd helped ensnare Potter.  
  
He passed through doors and was met by several ghosts and a house elf. Shifting the package he carried he identified himself and started for the stairs to the Headmaster's rooms. He had good news at the least for Snape and felt the poor wizard could use it by now.   
  
Dr. James met him at the base of the stairs looking rather more grave than the Healer really ought to Murphy thought. He waved the security chief to two chairs that had been set up for their use. After a moment of greetings Dr. James ploughed ahead and described his patient's condition.  
  
Severus had a complete collapse, Daniel. Three days ago  
Harry burst into the room and after shrieking let it be known  
that the manor had been destroyed on top of everything   
else, the Healer said briefly.   
  
I knew he was beyond his breaking point with everything  
that has happened to him this year, even if you don't take  
into consideration how much power he lost at Voldemort's  
demise, Murphy shook his head. How is he doing?   
  
Fragile. The medications have worn off and he's barely  
dealing with the knowledge that everything's gone. Albus  
has been working on the notion of rebuilding or buying a  
new place. Severus is overwhelmed by it all, Barnes explained.  
  
Let me tell you why I'm here and you can tell me what   
you think Severus can tolerate, the security wizard said. He bent close and told the Healer all the news. Barnes was very interested stopping for clarifications as the story unfolded. Once The Healer heard it he made requests for editing.  
  
You'll need to talk with Albus afterwards. I'll suggest he   
see you down to see Ron. I know that Jeffrey would rather  
protect Harry just as much as I want to protect Severus, Dr. James commented as they stood and stepped on the stairway up to the Headmaster's door.  
  
Barnes went in first. This allowed Murphy time to remove his traveling cloak and size up the room. Professor McGonagall and the Headmaster were at his desk going over parchments. With the end of school so close there was plenty of work to do. Lupin was seated on the couch reading the Daily Prophet while Black was pacing near the fireplace casting furtive glances across the room.  
  
Snape was standing at the windows hands clasp behind his back as he seemingly looked out over the grounds. He was wearing a light black robe that clung to his frame. Thin, but not as gaunt as six months back. Murphy wondered if this latest setback was causing eating difficulties like before. Having hung his cloak on the rack the officer picked up the package and walked across the room to the Potions Master.  
  
Severus? Officer Murphy is here to speak with you, Dr. James said without inflection. The security wizard was very aware every person in the room was watching, listening, trying not to be seen watching and listening. He tooled his face into a pleasant smile and approached the protected wizard.  
  
Professor Snape? Murphy began.  
  
Snape turned abruptly. There was no smile, the face was incredibly tired and drawn.  
  
Murphy grinned but received none in answer. Not that he expected one. He'd dealt with many people in shock and overcome by disasters. Instead the security wizard indicated he'd like to sit and with a slight nod Snape followed him to the table.  
  
Do you mind if I join you? Barnes asked in his most unpressing tones. Snape glared at him.  
  
he snapped.  
  
Because I am concerned about your health and whatever   
Officer Murphy has to say may affect you? Barnes did not follow. Snape stopped but did not turn.  
  
Yes, Dr. Barnes, you may, the ill wizard said formally. He then continued to the table and sat down next to Murphy forcing the Healer to sit to his left with the table corner between them. Not exactly what the Healer wanted but he accepted the arrangement for now.  
  
Up close the security officer noted the robe Snape wore was in fact a sleeping robe; he had socks but no shoes or slippers. When his eyes met Snape's he realized his surreptitious glances were noted. He decided to step out of his script.  
  
Flight risk? Murphy asked bluntly. He caught the pained look on the Healer's face but ignored him otherwise. Snape sneered.  
  
Yes, I suppose I am since this is all I've had to wear in two  
days, the Potions Master face might have sneered, but his voice was devoid of emotion. Murphy shrugged and set his package down before reaching into his pocket.  
  
I knew you have been unable to look after your affairs   
while you've been ill, Severus so I informed Gringotts of  
your loss, Murphy began watching the man next to him carefully. He would have preferred to be across from him, easier to read body language and facial expression, but Snape had chosen his position to get some distance from the Healer. As there was no reaction he continued.  
  
They had papers to fill out regarding the destruction. They  
also indicated you updated your personal assets last March, the security wizard said.  
  
Yes, Harry was, restless, Snape offered blandly with only a slight shift of position.  
  
So they have set aside the insurance monies in a separate  
vault for you to use to rebuild or purchase a new home, he handed the first set of papers to Snape. Which were set down directly on the table.  
  
800,000 galleons for the structure and land. Separate  
addendum of 100,000 for your personal effects. They were  
also quick to point out your vault at the London bank is  
intact. You have two vaults for the time being.  
  
No reaction. The wizard had been handed nearly a million galleons for his damages and he said nothing. Murphy thought a moment and realized Snape must have known about the money all along. He had just updated his policy nearly four months ago. He knew the worth and would expect it.   
  
In addition Gringotts, at my suggestion, applied to the   
Ministry's special relief fund that was set up after   
Voldemort's death. The monies secured from his holdings   
were rather, immense. These have been used to help   
remunerate people that lost property to the various Death   
Eaters attacks. After paying generous benefits to survivors   
the rest was set aside. Knowing that you have to start over,   
from kitchen to lab, the Ministry sent you an additional   
50,000 galleons, he handed the second set of papers over to the now trembling wizard. This was not expected, that the MINISTRY would recognize his loss and give him something did impress him that he might not be so undesirable after all.   
  
On a personal note I thought I might help you start rebuilding  
that formidable library, Murphy now smiled and pushed the package to Snape.   
  
What's this? Dr. James suddenly entered the conversation. They had agreed on the insurance and special monies from the Ministry. He hadn't realized the package was something else. Snape was already untying the string.  
  
Severus lent me a very interesting book last winter when  
I visited. By a muggle author named . When I was  
in London earlier this week I stopped in a bookshop, here Murphy grinned.  
I discovered the muggle's mysteries section after I read the  
book Severus lent me. There are all sorts of intriguing   
books to read. So when I was in town I picked up a volume   
on Sherlock Holmes and two more by an author my wife likes,   
Laurie Free. She's written some more stories on Holmes that   
I thought Severus might enjoy.   
  
The Healer had risen and was now standing behind Snape, hand on shoulder just in case. Murphy noted that both Black and Lupin had crept quietly near the table and that even the two at the Headmaster's desk were watching every move.   
  
Snape's long slender fingers trailed over the cover of the top book. It was a favored book, he enjoyed the detective and his companion the doctor. He lifted the cover and read the inscription from the security wizard, again letting his fingers run along the terse script.  
  
Thank you, Daniel. I'll, I'll treasure these, the Potions Master was able to get out, although tears were already trailing slowly down his cheek. He brushed them back with shaky hand.  
Sorry, I've not been myself.   
  
Murphy smiled warmly.  
  
But you are yourself, Severus. You've just been pushed  
where no one should ever be pushed. You'll feel better.  
Give it some time, Murphy murmured, patting Snape's hand gently.  
  
I'd best be off. I promised Dr. James I'd not upset you. I  
think I might be able to make it to the door before he tans  
my hide, the security wizard gently teased. Snape's grateful eyes met his.  
  
Oh, Dr. James is really very understanding, he sniffed, feeling the warmth of the Healer's energy softly fill him. Snape then leaned against the Healer seeking comfort for the first time in days. Murphy stood and once more touched the ill wizard eliciting a small smile.  
  
I'll be back to visit next week, Murphy promised as he moved towards the Headmaster's desk.  
  
Albus, would you see me down to Mr. Weasley's room? the security chief asked very quietly.   
  
Of course, Daniel. Perhaps Minerva can join us? Dumbledore asked.  
  
That would be wonderful, Murphy replied.  
  
  
  
Barnes quickly assessed his patient. Snape was very tired having not slept much unless drugged. Then he slept deep and it still was not restful given the nightmares that plagued the Potions Master. The Healer ran his hand through the ill wizard's hair.  
  
Do you want to lie down for awhile Severus? he asked in his most unpressing tones. He felt Snape nod his head.  
  
Would you sit with me? Snape asked in a very small voice.  
  
I will lie down with you if you'd like, the Healer offered. Snape drew the Holmes' book Murphy had given him to his chest.  
  
Bring your book, Barnes suggested. He helped his patient stand and then walk over to the lounge. The Healer sat down first and scooted over to the far side next to the window. Sitting down slowly Snape handed his book to Barnes and carefully lie down.  
  
The Potions Master moved closer, finally resting his head on the Healer's shoulder. His book was returned to him and he held it against his chest while Barnes gathered him in closer. Soon a thin stream of energy began to flow.  
  
Sleep, Severus. I'll be right here with you, Dr. James soothed back his hair. Once more a few scant tears pooled and trickled across Snape's face. The Healer wiped these and gently snuggled a little closer. The Potions Master responded by rolling up against Barnes and tucking his face under the Healer's chin with a shuddering sigh. He used one hand to clutch Barnes' waist while the other still held on to his book.  
  
Now the Healer could run his hand lightly up and down his patient's back. He was pleased with Snape's response and had forgotten everything else when he felt a hand touch his shoulder. He startled which in turn caused Snape to jerk, eyes flying open.  
  
Just wanted to make sure you're both ok, Black's voice drifted down.   
  
We were, Barnes snapped as he resettled himself and Snape.  
  
Well, if there's anything we can do for you let us know, the animagus continued in a hopeful tone.   
  
We'll be fine. Just a nap and some healing energy, Barnes said tersely. He began to run his hand in small circles feeling Snape relax against him when another hand began rubbing near his. Once more the Potions Master tensed up and he tried to scoot closer to Barnes.  
  
Dr. James hissed, go drool somewhere else. There was affronted silence until Snape snickered.  
  
Right. I'll just go then, Black said in offended tones.  
  
Take Remus with you, the Healer replied tersely as he completely encircled his patient with his arms. Snape managed to curl close enough to listen to Dr. James' heart beating slightly faster than usual. Dr. James watched the two wizards retreat to the couch before he calmed down and returned his full attention to his patient.  
  
After a few minutes of quiet Barnes regained his inner peace and once more began to soothe Snape with his healing energy. Another handful of minutes and his patient slipped softly into sleep clutching both his Healer and his book.  
  
  
  
  



	14. Chapter 14: The Last Blocks

Title: When Harry Left Severus   
  
rating: R for adult themes including male/male relationships.   
  
Chapter 14 - The Last Blocks  
by: Raven Dancer  
  
disclaimer: All characters belong to J.K. Rowling except for the Drs. Barnes, Daniel Murphy and Beryl. I receive no monetary compensation for these works.  
  
  


****~****  


  
Bill Weasley gingerly pushed open the door to the Headmaster's study. He'd been with his brother reading quietly when the security chief, Murphy, had come in to speak with Ron. He listened as the wizard explained they needed Ron to identify the three wizards they'd caught. One was definitely Harry's lover.  
  
Plans were quickly made to apparate to the Ministry and from there port key to Vachel's home. Bill could tell his brother was extremely nervous but he couldn't offer to go with him. First, Bill didn't have the strength to apparate and secondly he knew he'd get violently ill if he used a port key. When he came to Hogwarts with his mother it had taken a full day just to get over the nausea.  
  
Dumbledore seemed to know all this without having spoken with Bill and offered to go with Ron. He explained he should check in with the Minister briefly and going on to France would enable him to get a feel for Vachel himself. Ron gratefully accepted the Headmaster's offer.  
  
Which left Bill alone. Professor McGonagall suggested he stay with his mother. So the oldest Weasley managed to move down to Harry's small suite to find a chair.   
  
He walked into a minor crisis. His mother was comforting a sobbing Harry while Jeffrey Barnes was rummaging through his medical satchel. Bill quietly sat down to watch the unfolding drama.  
  
Bill? Why are you here? the younger Barnes inquired as he poured out some bilious green liquid into a tea mug.  
  
Professor McGonagall suggested I stay with you while Ron goes  
with Officer Murphy, Bill began. He suddenly had two tear-stained green eyes staring at him. The poor cursebreaker ground to a halt. He couldn't tell Harry they'd gone to identify his lover!  
  
I think you'd be best off upstairs with my Da, Jeffrey determined quite quickly.   
  
And so here he was quietly creeping through the door into the Headmaster's office. A quick glance about the room revealed the sleeping Healer and Snape. On the far couch were Lupin and Black talking softly. Bill moved around and sat in one of the arm chairs near the couch.  
  
Hello Bill, Lupin greeted the wizard with a small smile. Weasley returned the smile and greeting.   
  
Severus is napping but if we talk softly Dr. James won't hex  
us, Black said teasingly. His mate bopped him on the arm.  
  
You haven't endeared us to Dr. James at all you fool, Lupin scolded.  
  
Is Severus doing better? I heard from mom he had a slight  
set-back, Bill inquired. Lupin glanced at the animagus.  
  
Yes, although that's a rather mild assessment, Lupin murmured.  
  
Sev had a full breakdown Bill. Just totally collapsed. He hasn't  
been doing well although I think he's had a bit of a breakthrough today, Black quietly explained Murphy's visit. Bill listened quietly.  
  
You know, when I first was released to Mom after my accident  
I couldn't be in any room smaller than our living room. Even the   
kitchen made me break out in a sweat, Bill related.   
Mom kept spelling the walls to look like the outdoors. We   
celebrated the first time I was able to shower without running out   
screaming.  
  
Lupin looked sympathetically at the cursebreaker.   
  
How long did it take you to be able to be indoors comfortably? he asked.  
  
I've been home a month. I'm generally ok but the hallways here  
give me trouble, he admitted.  
  
Then it must be have been hard coming up here, Black remarked gently. Bill nodded with a slight shudder.  
  
At least the Headmaster's room is large and open. Once I got in  
here I felt better nearly immediately, Weasley said.  
  
Say, why are you up here? We don't mind, but I thought you   
were staying with Ron, Lupin asked.  
  
Ron has gone with Officer Murphy and the Headmaster to identify  
Vachel and two other wizards, Bill whispered, not knowing if Snape was really asleep or not.  
There is some confusion of identities; between several  
glamourie spells and polyjuice on the premises the Ministry wants  
to be sure who is who. Ron offered to go.  
  
How is Harry doing? Black suddenly asked. He'd not been down to see his godson since they'd pulled Snape out of the closet. He was suddenly hit with a wave of concern and guilt.  
  
I think it's been really hard for him. Jeffrey has removed three of  
the blocks. The first was bad enough but the second was   
devastating. He realized that Vachel's friends caused him to write  
some scathing letters to Severus, Bill reported. The third block   
was just removed this morning. I think there's just one left. I'm  
not sure what is bothering him more: causing Severus so much   
pain or the fact he was trapped by these wizards. Black rubbed his hands over his face.  
  
gods, I need to go see Harry! He's my family and I haven't been  
supportive at all. I was so concerned over Severus' injuries and  
so mad at Harry because of what he did. Poor kid didn't have any  
control over the situation, Black lamented.  
  
That's the other thing that's bother Harry so much. He was   
very aware of some of the harassment of Severus and he went  
along with it. As it escalated it seems Vachel's friends selectively   
blocked some memories of the harsher activities, Bill reported.   
  
But they were using potions that left him very vulnerable to   
manipulation, Lupin protested.  
  
Yes, but Harry doesn't see it that way. He thinks he could have  
fought it better than he did. Jeffrey and Mom are working with  
him to sort out his feelings, Bill explained. Black looked at his mate.  
  
I'm going down to see Harry, Black said firmly.  
  
Yes, you need to go now Siri, Lupin affirmed without hesitation. Transforming into his dog-form, Black immediately trotted to the door, opened it and left.  
  
Are you sure that's wise? Bill asked. Lupin smiled.  
  
Yes. Like when your mother was there for Ron. Harry needs  
to know his godfather still loves him after all the hell he's been  
through. I know that Sirius is not happy about what has happened,  
but I also know he will be there for Harry, the werewolf explained. Bill nodded in agreement.  
  
  
  
loped downstairs through the castle. Although he'd been cleared of the murder convictions and could move about freely in his wizard form Black found it much easier to move quickly as a dog. It was between classes and there were many students hurrying about in the halls. Snatches of tense and panicked conversations indicated it was finals week. He glided through the sea of legs then came to an empty hallway where there were no classrooms, just guest and staff quarters. With a paw and a nudge he let himself into his godson's rooms.  
  
He was greeted by the sight of Harry refusing a mug from the Healer.   
  
I don't want to calm down Barnes! I am angry and I want to  
stay angry! I want to be in control of myself, Harry spat out. He suddenly froze as the large black dog pushed into the room.  
  
Harry whispered, hardly daring to believe his godfather would come near him. The animagus moved across the room and gave a few swipes with his tongue to clean away the leftover tears blotching his godson's face. Keeping close he transformed and had his arms around Harry before anyone could say another word.  
  
Harry, I am sure whatever Jeffrey is offering you will only help  
you calm down and not take away your control, Black said.  
Although I quite understand not wanting to take a potion at  
this point. The animagus held the stiff body closer.  
  
I know you're afraid of being ensnared again, Molly said as she came closer and put her hands on the young man's back, rubbing gently. Surrounded by two adults he trusted completely Harry finally began to calm down.   
  
Jeffrey Barnes sat quietly watching the triad. Harry had been more than a difficult patient for the Healer. Just working through the denial and anger was bad enough. That Harry had hurt his close friend made it worse. He knew that he was a professional, had taken an oath to heal the sick, but Jeffrey knew this young man would be referred to a colleague soon.  
  
May I have Harry's potion? Black asked softly as he reached towards the Healer. Molly had managed to explain the beneficial properties of the mixture and with Black's support Harry agreed to take the potion. The mug was passed over and soon he sipped down the calming tonic.  
  
Setting the empty mug aside the witch maneuvered the tired wizard to the couch and soon he was sitting leaning against his godfather.  
  
I didn't think you'd come Sirius, Harry admitted. The potion had calmed him down and he was merely a little sad now.   
  
You're my family, Harry, I could never stay away from you! Black told him.  
  
But I, I was such an ass! Harry spluttered as a few tears formed. Jeffrey had inched closer and was now sitting on the low coffee table by the couch.  
  
Harry, you were under several potions not to mention hexes to  
control your actions... the Healer began.  
  
  
But not at first! That's what I remembered after you removed   
the very first block. I was thrilled to be out and meeting all  
sorts of new people. I, I was very flattered with all the attention  
I was given. It seemed that everyone knew who I was, Harry explained, his voice tight.  
I wrote the first letters that you showed me, Sirius. Then I wrote  
the next couple with Andy dictating to me. I think I was under   
the potions' control for those. But worse, I was the one who   
suggested the polyjuice because I didn't feel like going back to  
the Manor to get my things. Iris brewed the potion and Andy   
disguised himself as me. I was upset when he returned and   
started bragging how he'd treated Severus. I think that's when  
they began to block some of my memories.  
  
They couldn't have you leaving, Black said, especially when  
they wanted to get Severus for some reason.  
  
Andy and Iris went to Durmstrang, Harry said. I think their  
parents were Voldemort supporters. Harry rubbed his temples, the ever-present headache spiked. Jeffrey carefully touched the youth's forehead.  
  
That last block is causing you the pain, Harry. I will remove it  
now. Let Sirius and Molly hold you, the Healer directed. He reached out and tugged on the block, a small spell used to keep the young man from accessing that part of his brain.   
  
The relief was profound; Harry sagged against his godfather with a shuddering sigh.  
  
Oh merlin, that feels so good, he muttered. After a moment Harry stiffened but neither witch nor wizard let him go.  
  
Their parents were death eaters. Iris' mother is in Azkaban but  
the other three, Andy's parents and her father, were given the  
dementor's kiss and died soon after, Harry remembered the conversation.  
They blamed Severus for it; for having exposed them and then  
killing Voldemort.  
  
Didn't they hate you as well? Molly asked.  
  
I don't think so. Vachel loves me, at least I think he does. The  
others are childhood friends. They knew Severus had been a  
traitor and that he delivered the death blow to Voldemort, Harry said shakily.  
  
When Vachel no longer cares for you I'm sure their attitudes will  
change, Black said darkly.  
  
No, Vachel loves me. He and I are going to exchange vows, Harry said weakly. He was beginning to wonder if Vachel really loved him.  
  
I want to scan you, Harry. Then I want you to rest for a few  
hours and let yourself assimilate all those memories that have  
been blocked, Jeffrey held out his hand to his patient. Harry looked at the Healer.  
  
Can Sirius stay with me? he asked in a very small voice. Black immediately hugged him tighter.  
  
Of course I can stay with you, Harry, the animagus soothed.  
  
Good, then I can go and see Dr. James and Severus, Jeffrey said with a quick smile. He pulled Harry up and pulled him over to the bed, Black in tow. Harry looked at the Healer questioningly.  
  
How is Severus? he asked. Jeffrey considered his answer.  
  
Better. Physically anyway, the Healer said.  
  
Better all around. Officer Murphy brought him his insurance   
papers. Severus can rebuild or buy new. Plus he gave Severus  
a couple books to start up his library again. That seemed to be  
more important to Sev than the monies, Sirius explained.   
  
Poor Severus! Harry lamented. I should have never left him.  
  
No, Harry, don't think that way. You needed to get out on your  
own. Those people would have had their revenge some other  
way if they hadn't ensnared you, Molly said quietly. Harry chose not to reply and instead lie down so that Jeffrey could scan him once more.  
  
No more blocks. I think after you rest you should have a good  
lunch and a walk around the gardens with your godfather, Jeffrey prescribed. His patient yawned deeply and nodded.  
  
'k. Nap, eat, walk, Harry sleepily listed the plan.  
  
I'll be up in Albus' rooms if you need me, Sirius, he whispered to Black. Molly joined the Healer as he left the room.


	15. Chapter 15: Trusting

Title: When Harry Left Severus  
  
rating: R for adult themes including male/male relationships.   
  
Chapter 15 - Trusting  
by: Raven Dancer  
  
disclaimer: All characters belong to J.K. Rowling except for the Drs. Barnes, Daniel Murphy and Beryl. I receive no monetary compensation for these works. Although it is a pretty good method of psychological release...  
  
  


***************~***************  


  
Dr. James Barnes hummed happily as he reviewed the day. His patient had slept, really slept without a nightmare, for a solid four hours. Then he'd managed to hold down a thick high-protein shake. And best, Snape had a long soak in the tub while Lupin read to him from his new Holmes' book. It was heartening to see the Potions Master once more aware of his surroundings.  
  
While Snape had soaked the Healer had a planning session with his son. Physically his patient was doing better, although he still needed more time for the soft tissue damage to heal. Even with their energy feeds the bruises remained.   
  
Damn the bastards.  
  
Dr. James shook the thought aside. No reason to get negative! Jeffrey wanted to start working through the attack in a few days. For the time being he suggested, and James concurred, that Snape needed to rest and be treated gently. Which meant he needed his friends to help him get better.   
  
So Lupin had helped him bathe and had spent some quiet time near the fire just soaking up the heat and talking softly. It was fortunate to have Lupin's help because Jeffrey had been called back to Hogsmeade to the clinic and Dr. James had worked with Ron Weasley and Dumbledore when they returned.  
  
The trip to France had been successful: Ron had been able to identify all three people in the house. Once that had been accomplished the French Wizarding Security Force had allowed their British colleagues to do a more thorough search of Vachel's home. Not much more had been found, but there were enough laws broken for veritaserum to be used once the prisoners were transferred to Britain for questioning.  
  
Dumbledore was furious. Vachel had been very quiet but Andy laughed in the Headmaster's face taking delight in taunting the older wizard. Couldn't protect his precious traitor, could he?   
  
Dr. James had to use two different soothing potions just to get Dumbledore to stop snarling.  
  
Ron was easier to work with but required more energy. The quick trip over, the realization that he'd been drugged and knowing he'd had a part, albeit small, in the tormenting of Snape drained the young wizard of all his strength. With Molly's and Bill's help they brought Ron back to his room to rest and heal.   
  
After seeing the Weasleys back safe and sound Dr. James had returned to the Headmaster's office to find Lupin wrapped around a very silent and confused Snape. Dumbledore was growling again but the Healer could not quite figure out what was actually going on. In any event the Potions Master was overwhelmed and needed less stimulation from either man. Gathering up his patient he sent the other two away.  
  
Severus, is that your stomach grumbling? Dr. James murmured as he pulsed Snape. He didn't receive an answer.  
  
Severus? What's wrong? the Healer asked, deciding on a direct approach. He wondered if the now trembling wizard would speak to him or would simply slip further away.  
  
I, I don't understand why Remus is... Snape began, electing to nuzzle closer into Dr. James' robes seeking comfort.  
  
Remus is, the Healer repeated... Then he understood.  
Remus is being affectionate and Albus is not happy about  
that is he? Snape's quivering continued so Barnes sent in a stronger, longer stream of energy as he murmured a soothing charm.  
  
Remie has Sirius. But he says they both love me. I don't  
understand, Snape finally articulated. He pulled back and looked up at the Healer, eyes dilated wide from the energy pulse.  
  
Remus loves you, Severus. You were together over 12  
years and when you parted Remus did not know he could  
stay with you, Barnes said quietly. With a sigh Snape once more snuggled into the comfort and warmth.  
  
Well, whether he had a choice or not he's back with Sirius  
again, the Potions Master said with finality.  
  
Dr. James pulled his patient closer as he continued to treat him.  
There are no hard and fast rules here. Remus loves you  
very much. Sirius has come to care for you in ways he admits  
surprise him. I think that, if you're willing, they'd like to   
bring you into their lives in a more intimate, and permanent,  
way.  
  
For a long moment there was no response and Barnes wondered if his patient had fallen asleep. Then the previously vocal stomach growled again. Snape took a long deep breath as he considered his options.  
  
the Healer queried. But his patient simply was not interested in answering. So Barnes stood, levitating Snape, and moved them to the table. Dobby happily bounced off to make dinner for his master.  
  
The elf quickly set out a fragrant meal: baked chicken, green beans with herbs, hot buttered bread and tinned peaches. Snape had been studiously avoiding any hint of being aware of his environment, but now he was sorely tempted. He couldn't help but note, through barely opened eyes, the food before him. Harder yet to ignore when a forkful of chicken was waved under his nose before being pushed into his passive mouth.   
  
*ooooooh, so good,* he sighed to himself, now chewing.  
  
Dr. James continued, tucking bites of baked chicken and fresh vegetables into the silent Potions Master. After a few bites Snape wanted some of the peaches, even looked longingly at the fruit, but the Healer avoided them. Finally Snape picked up his own fork and speared a tasty slice.   
  
Snape continued to feed himself when it became apparent Dr. James was only going to feed him green beans.  
  
I like Dobby's cooking, Barnes remarked as he filled his fork with the buttery beans.   
  
Dobby likes to use spices, Snape said very quietly.  
  
Mmmmhmmm, I think he used dill and onions on the green  
beans, the Healer said.  
  
Snape murmured. Rosemary and a little oregano  
on the chicken.  
  
Tinned peaches, smiled Barnes watching another succulent piece of fruit disappear into his patient.  
  
Always tinned peaches, Snape smiled a very small smile. They continued discussing Dobby's cooking. It pleased the Healer to see his patient coming out of his self-imposed silence. Snape did not want to discuss Lupin or Black or Harry or the manor or anything to do with his life. But Dobby's cooking was just fine.   
  
When plates were finally emptied and forks abandoned dessert came up. A warmth of cinnamon filled the air and both wizards breathed in deeply.  
  
Rice pudding, Snape said happily. He sat expectantly waiting for a dish.  
  
Why don't you serve us? I think there are enough dishes  
for Albus, Remus and Sirius, too, Dr. James suggested lightly, wanting to see if Snape were ready for more people. He was rewarded with a slight nod as the Potions Master reached for the bowls. Pulling the tea tray closer the Healer poured out five cups.  
  
Barnes called, if you gentlemen would like some  
tea and dessert...? He didn't have to finish the question as all three wizards rose together. They did manage to walk slowly to the table not wanting to disturb or frighten their ill friend.   
  
Black reached the table first and gently ran his hand across Snape's back as he passed. The Potions Master shivered, leaning towards Dr. James. The Healer simply dropped his arm over his patient's shoulder making a silent declaration of hands off. Lupin and Dumbledore accepted cups of tea as they sat down followed by a share of the pudding.   
  
This is delicious, Dr. James said as he savored his first bite. He teased a second spoonful under Snape's nose.  
  
I can eat my own, the Potions Master nearly sneered, but his lip didn't quite twist up. Barnes simply ate the offered spoonful himself.  
  
Yes, you can, the Healer responded. Taking a small vial from his inner pocket Barnes removed the lid and poured it into his patient's tea. Snape ate a large spoon of pudding then reached for his tea not even bothering to sniff at the potion. He sipped carefully.  
  
Are you staying the night James? Dumbledore asked quietly trying not to watch the potion taking affect. It bothered him that Snape's eyes were beginning to dilate, affecting a sleepy, trusting glaze. Another potion to keep him calm and very vulnerable.  
  
No, I am going home for the night. I'll just tuck Severus  
into bed, the Healer explained.  
Snape looked at Barnes and smiled contentedly.   
  
Bedtime, child, Dr. James said and led Snape off to the bedroom.  
  
Black and Lupin's bedroom Dumbledore was quick to note. The Headmaster's glare pinned both men in their respective chairs.  
  
You won't... the Headmaster positively growled.  
  
We would never take advantage of Severus! Lupin declared quickly.  
  
Albus, we both love Severus, Black said quietly. All three decided to sip tea, although perhaps Dumbledore considered gnawing on the cup itself.   
  
He's been through too much, Albus tried a different tact but still the voice was strained.  
  
I know, Albus. And I put him through some of it, Black responded.  
I promise I will only help him sleep comfortably tonight.  
  
They continued to sip tea. Barnes returned and looked over the three wizards. The dynamics were rather stressed. Instead of allowing anyone to question his decisions he pulled a potion out of his satchel and handed it to Black.  
  
I chose your bed only because he'll sleep better being   
protected on both sides, Dr. James said with a serious tone.  
If he has a nightmare try to talk him back to sleep. If he  
becomes too upset give him the dreamless sleep potion.  
  
How long does he have to be drugged? Dumbledore asked.  
  
Until Jeffrey and I decide he's ready to deal with his losses Albus, Barnes said patiently.  
You have trusted us all these years, you'll just have to   
trust us now. The Headmaster sighed.  
  
I do trust you. It's just he's so vulnerable, so open to any  
suggestion. I worry, the older wizard admitted.  
  
I know Albus, Barnes replied gently, putting his hand on the wizard's shoulder.  
I know. But he's safe here. No one is going to harm him or  
coerce him into doing anything but sleep.   
  
Then the Healer turned his considerable attention to the younger pair, hand still on Dumbledore's shoulder.  
  
If Severus needs that dreamless sleep potion bring him  
to Albus first. Once he has that he won't be going anywhere  
for at least six hours, Barnes instructed them. They nodded in agreement.  
  
Splendid. Good night gentlemen, I will be back in the   
late morning, the Healer said and moved towards the door.  
  
What about when he wakes? Lupin asked quickly.  
  
Try to get some breakfast into him and let him alone. If he  
wants to nap, that's fine. The calming potion will last until  
the early afternoon, Dr. James waited a moment then slipped out the door.


	16. Chapter 16: Nightmares

Title: When Harry Left Severus  
  
rating: R for adult themes including male/male relationships.   
  
Chapter 16 - Nightmares  
by: Raven Dancer  
  
disclaimer: All characters belong to J.K. Rowling except for the Drs. Barnes, Daniel Murphy and Beryl. I receive no monetary compensation for these works. Although it is a pretty good method of psychological release...  
  
  


****************~****************  


  
They weathered the first nightmare in fine style. Soft voices, gently touches, a warm sheltered place. The whimpers diminished and the spasming body resettled into sleep. Both men watched the Potions Master sink back down in the dim light.  
  
There, that's much better, Black gave Snape's hair a final stroke.   
  
Yes, much, Lupin sighed.  
  
At least he's easier to handle than Harry was, the animagus remarked as he settled down on his pillow once more. Lupin perked up a bit.  
  
I never had a chance to ask you how the day went with  
Harry, Lupin prompted his spouse. He watched Black grimace at the memory.  
  
I had to keep reminding myself he's still suffering from the  
residuals, Black muttered.  
I will certainly be glad once Jeffrey has worked with him   
and sorted out some of his confusion. Now Lupin sighed.  
  
I don't think Jeffrey's going to work with Harry much longer, the werewolf replied. Black rose back up on his elbows.  
  
What? Why can't Jeffrey work with Harry? He asked sharply, leaning slightly towards his mate. He was hampered by the sleeping body of the Potions master.  
  
He said he doesn't feel comfortable working with Harry. He  
feels angry because Severus was hurt, Lupin explained carefully, noting the stress in Black's voice.  
  
But it wasn't Harry's fault! the animagus returned. Lupin shrugged.  
  
No, it wasn't but Jeffrey's only human. He associates Harry  
with the injuries and suffering Sev's experienced. At least  
he's honest, the werewolf replied. Neither noticed the slight grimace on the sleeping man's face.  
  
But it wasn't Harry's fault, Black repeated as though this was the important factor.   
It was that bastard Vachel and his friends!  
  
I know Siri! But you have to admit it wouldn't do Harry  
any good if Jeffrey's not willing or uncomfortable, Lupin tried to reach over and stroke his mate's shoulder. Black momentarily stiffened which caused another slight muscle twitching in Snape. Then Black relaxed into the touch.  
  
You're right, I know you're right. I just didn't like the idea  
that Jeffrey associates Harry with the attack on Severus.  
He feels very guilty about Sev getting beaten so bad, the animagus continued.  
  
As the two men talked about Harry, Jeffrey and the horrible situation that landed the two together in the Healer's realm they didn't notice their sleeping companion's reactions to them. Key words slipped into Snape's mind, twisting into his dreams. They reverberated as he began to panic.  
  
The masked wizards shattered his lounge before turning on him, slamming him into the wall. At first he was in his own home, but it dissolved in a wall of fire. Instead of the masked wizards Snape suddenly found himself prostrate before Voldemort; surrounded by evil laughter and taunts.   
  
*Traitor!*  
  
*Turncoat!*  
  
*Death is too good for the likes of you!*  
  
Snape twisted on the ground as he was battered from one side to the other, never knowing where the next blow was coming from. The scene shifted from Voldemort's sitting room to the graveyard to his own Morning Room.   
  
*Disgusting piece of filth!*  
  
*Pervert!*  
  
*We'll fix you so you can't fuck anyone else!*  
  
The blows landed harder and harder when he suddenly jerked upright in bed shrieking.  
  
Lupin immediately yelled as he grasp his ex-lover. Snape pulled sharply away from him and slammed into Black.  
  
NO! NO! I'M NOT! DON'T! he screamed trying desparatly to get out of the bed. Through pure fear and adrenaline he moved over the animagus and fell hard to the floor. Still in motion he began to crawl as fast as he could to the door.  
  
Lupin had his wand out and slammed the door shut preventing Snape from escaping that route. He then cast impervious charms over the windows in case the terrified man tried to go through the glass.  
  
Black was out of the bed calling to the Potions Master trying to get him to wake up or at least recognize where he was. Helpless, he watched Snape claw at the door trying to get out.  
  
Severus, Severus! It's all right! You're safe! You're in  
Albus' rooms at Hogwarts. It's just Remie and Sirius, Black spoke urgently but did not try to touch the wizard. Lupin was now out of bed next to him wringing his hands.  
  
We have to stop him Siri, he's going to hurt himself if we   
don't, Lupin said. Black nodded.  
  
Look, he's starting to wear down a bit, he said and they inched closer. Snape was now on his knees huddled against the door, lips moving as he tried to spell the door opened.  
  
Severus, love, it's ok! It's me, Remie! Oh, Sev, it's going  
to be just fine, Lupin soothed. He dropped to his knees as he came even closer to the Potions Master. Snape's breath tore out in gasps as he tried to control himself. Eyes tried to focus through tears.  
  
Snape's pathetic whimper was barely audible.  
  
Severus, it's going to be fine. You're safe. Siri and Remie  
are right here, love, do you see me? Lupin kept talking gently and watched as black eyes finally found his in recognition.  
  
the longing in his voice hurt. Lupin was finally close enough to touch.  
  
Severus? I want to hold you. It's Remie and Sirius, we just  
want to help you, Lupin said as his hand brushed over Snape's shoulder. There was a flinch, but Snape managed to stay in place as both of his companions drew next to him. The werewolf opened his arms and the exhausted wizard fell into the embrace.  
  
Snape twisted into his friend's body trying to get as close as possible as the first sobs broke. Black came from behind and soon the distraught man was sandwiched in between.   
  
Severus, you're safe. It will be all right, Black tried to soothe but the sobbing continued even with all their soft words and gentle hands.   
  
Do you want to go see Albus? Lupin asked desperately grabbing at straws. For the first time Snape reacted, nodding just a little.  
  
Then you'll have to calm down and be good, Black suggested. Snape drew in long shuddering breaths trying to stifle his emotional outburst wanted nothing more than to go to Dumbledore. Lupin rocked slowly as the Potions Master gained some control. They sat huddled together for a few minutes until no more tears fell and Snape's breathing evened out.  
  
There you go Severus, much better. Let's get you back  
to bed, Lupin suggested thinking they'd be able to simply put the drowsy wizard to bed. Pulling his head off the werewolf's shoulder hurt, sad eyes blinked back threatening tears.  
  
y-you said I c-could go to Albus, Snape said as his hard-won composure crumbled. He covered his face to hide his distress.  
  
You can, Severus! I just thought you'd be ok and we  
wouldn't have to wake him this late, Lupin explained. If possible Snape curled into a tighter ball as guilt piled on top of his despair. If the wizard had been upset before, this was worse. He was shutting down just as he had with the healers several days before.  
  
Dr. James is going to kill us! Black hissed as he tried to convince Snape to let them hold and comfort him.  
  
Let's just get him to Albus, Lupin decided.   
  
n-no, don't w-wake th-the... Snape begged. He didn't want to upset Dumbledore. Black and Lupin stared at each other as the same thought hit both.  
  
The potion, he's reacting to the potion, Black realized. Lupin nodded then turned his attention back to Snape.  
  
Severus? Sev? I think Albus wants to see you, Lupin told the shivering wizard.   
  
Yes, Severus. I'm sure Albus would like to see you, Black picked up the assurance.  
  
Come with us and will have a quick wash-up and go to the   
loo. Then we'll all go see Albus, Lupin suggested.   
  
Slowly the miserable ball relaxed slightly and two tear-filled dark eyes glistening in the low light.  
  
Good. Let Remie and I help you Sev. I'll bet we can find  
something cool to drink when we get to Albus' room, Black offered, remembering the sleeping draught the Healer left. With many assurances and much cajoling Snape was cleaned up and used the loo. A fresh sleepshirt was pulled out and with a little more convincing he was redressed. Finally they carefully helped him into the Headmaster's bedroom.  
  
Dumbledore heard the door open and slowly sat up. He could hear sniffling and then the calm voice of Lupin assuring someone that it was all right. The Headmaster waved on a light and watched as the werewolf led a reluctant Snape across the room. Black was quick to follow with a cup in his hand.  
  
See, Severus? You didn't wake Albus. He was waiting  
for you, Lupin coaxed the shaky wizard closer. Dumbledore wasn't sure what was going on but he swung his legs out of bed and smiled encouragingly at the Potions Master.   
  
Severus? What's wrong? the Headmaster yawned. To his dismay Snape tried to back out.  
  
N-nothing. I-I... S-sorry, the Potions Master eked out and tried to bolt out of the room.  
  
Severus, Albus _wants you here_, Black said, his voice lilting over the words.   
  
*Wants you here?* Dumbledore thought a moment and then the tumblers clicked into place.  
  
Come here, Severus, I wanted to see you, the Headmaster said as warmly as he could. Snape stopped struggling and eyed the older wizard suspiciously.  
  
Look, Severus, here's a cup of cool juice. Come sit on the  
bed by Albus and you can have a nice long sip, Black stood next to the seated Headmaster and held up the cup. With more tugging Lupin finally managed to get Snape across the room and onto the bed.  
  
I'm glad you came to me, Severus, Dumbledore smiled.  
  
Have some juice, Sev, it tastes very good, Black handed the cup to the Headmaster who in turn coaxed Snape closer to him. Noting how hard the Potions Master was shaking he decided to hold the cup and let the exhausted wizard guide it to his lips.  
  
Just sip it slowly, child, Dumbledore encouraged. Snape's nose wrinkled.  
  
Tastes funny, he muttered, but continued to drink.   
  
It's a little blackberry juice, Sev, Black explained.  
  
Needs more sugar, the Potions Master replied as his eyes began to blink sleepily.  
  
Well, we'll call Dobby a little later and have him fix  
it sweeter for you, Lupin promised. The cup was moved away and they watched Snape fight the heavy pull of potioned sleep.  
  
he whimpered looking at his mentor.  
  
Then lie down and sleep with me child. I will keep you   
very safe, Dumbledore assured him.  
  
Snape agreed. He let Black and Lupin pull back the covers and levitate him into the middle of the bed. Eyes slipped closed as his head snuggled into a pillow. All three wizards waited a few minutes making sure the Potions Master was deeply asleep.  
  
Do I want to know? Dumbledore asked finally. He turned to face the two wizards.  
  
He had a horrendous nightmare and we forgot about the   
potion Dr. James had given him earlier. We'd calmed him   
down by promising to bring him here to you, Black began.  
  
Then I tried to put him back to bed because he was so  
sleepy and he fell apart again, Lupin confessed.  
I'm so sorry, Albus. We didn't want to wake you but   
Severus was very upset.  
  
We didn't help matters by suggesting we shouldn't wake  
you. Merlin, he was so scared! Black blurted out.   
  
Those drugs Dr. James used are very strong, Dumbledore said.  
That's why he stayed with Severus to regulate all the  
conversations. That's why I was upset when James put  
Severus in your bed.  
  
I understand better now, Lupin admitted. The person   
taking the drugs is susceptible to both words and intonation.  
  
At the higher doses. At lower doses you can do what  
Vachel did: create a functioning slave, Black pointed out. Both Lupin and Dumbledore agreed.  
  
Well, it's four in the morning and I for one want a few more  
hours of sleep, the Headmaster yawned.  
  
That sleeping draught will keep Sev asleep at least six  
hours, Black said,  
so Remus and I will go back to our room for now.  
  
Good. You can check back in around 8 and we'll see how  
things are going, Dumbledore said as he climbed back under the covers. In his sleep Snape began to curl closer. The Headmaster simply let the ill wizard nestle into his side.  
  
Night Albus, Black and Lupin said softly.  
  
Night gentlemen, came the reply.


	17. Chapter 17: Of Pans and Fire

Title: When Harry Left Severus  
  
rating: R for adult themes including male/male relationships.   
  
Chapter 17 - Of Pans and Fire  
by: Raven Dancer  
  
disclaimer: All characters belong to J.K. Rowling except for the Drs. Barnes, Daniel Murphy and Beryl. I receive no monetary compensation for these works. I also wonder if anyone really pays attention to the disclaimer at all...  
  
  


*****************~*****************  


Harry pushed his empty plate away and pulled his cup of hot tea in front of him. His companions, Hermione and Mrs. Weasley, continued their conversation on some muggle author named Steele leaving him to his thoughts.  
  
*Merlin I'm tired!* the young wizard thought to himself as he selected a sugared bisquit to dip into his tea. He was very glad Dr. Barnes had left; the Healer was abrupt at times and somewhat cool towards Harry. Of course Harry didn't like to admit he himself was angry and was very sharp with the Healer himself.  
  
Barnes and he had spoken for nearly two hours that afternoon. They'd discussed Harry's betrayal by his fiancé. He still had trouble accepting that Vachel had anything to do with ensnaring him. The Healer had offered him copies of the initial interviews but to Harry these were inconclusive. Oh, Andy and Iris, they'd been very forthcoming in their desires to use Harry to get to Snape. But not Vachel. He'd said very little except that he'd supported his friends in wanting to get rid of Snape once and for all.  
  
Setting that entire conversation aside Barnes had attempted to talk about Harry's relationship with Snape. How did Harry feel now that the potions and blocks had been removed? Frankly, Harry didn't know how he felt about Snape anymore. He knew he'd loved the wizard but the intense desires had diminished and disappeared once he was out on his own.   
  
In fact, he did feel a bit angry at Snape for keeping him shut away for nearly a year. Harry'd missed so much being hidden from the world and the accolades he thought he so richly deserved. For gods sakes he'd destroyed Voldemort and had pointed that out rather defensively to Barnes.  
  
Barnes had the audacity to remind him the Potions Master had done the actual destruction. That Snape had risen above his abilities to protect the young wizard when the dark lord advanced on them. Harry had stood behind the wizard and fed him energy when the final curses were thrown. Then kept Snape alive until the medi-wizards arrived.   
  
This little known fact thrown back at him marked the decided down turn in their session. Yes, Snape was the hero and the history book would note that. But Harry was the one who'd received the praise and news coverage. For someone who'd been thrown in a closet and treated like dirt for years it was an overwhelming experience. One he enjoyed greatly and strove to keep experiencing. It wasn't as if Snape had minded. He'd been decidedly quiet about the entire event and ensuing minor hoopla St. Mungo's had allowed.  
  
Harry realized that Vachel and his cronies had been the ones to exploit this need: throwing parties and dragging him to popular wizard bars and resorts. They were the ones who sent word ahead that the famous Harry Potter was coming and that measures should be taken to assure the proper atmosphere for a hero. They had fed his ego and encouraged this need for more attention.  
  
Barnes then pointed out that Snape had been sheltering him until the fervor had died down enough to allow Harry a more normal life. It may have been selfish, it may even have been wrong, but Snape cared deeply for Harry, had protected him as best he could. When Dumbledore asked him to watch over Harry a little while longer he had.   
  
*Cared deeply* Harry snorted to himself. He'd LOVED the Potions Master. And Snape had LOVED Harry, he'd said as much on several occasions. _Loved him_.  
  
With that troubling thought Harry took another sip of tea and forced his attention back to the two witches chatting nearby.  
  
  
  
  
Jeffrey Barnes felt he'd gone from the fry pan and into the fire. He stood in the Headmaster's offices watching a conversation completely deteriorate into open warfare. It started with all concerned agreeing that the Potions Master needed to heal another day before discussing the manor and the attack. Then Lupin had smiled at Black and made a comment about comforting. Which had been mostly misinterpreted by the Headmaster.   
  
Which led to this ridiculous situation: Lupin, Black and Dumbledore in opposing corners yelling. Barnes was in the fourth corner rolling his eyes wondering if binding the lot of them would be an ethical no-no.   
  
Into said situation stumbled the Potions Master. He curiously glanced around the room.  
  
I don't suppose I want to know what's going on? Snape asked no one in particular. Truth be told he'd heard quite a bit of the argument through the door as he lie on the bed. He was rather touched by Dumbledore's over-protective stance and rather _interested_ in both Black's and Lupin's declarations of love and concern.  
  
But the anger had bothered him and in the end Snape decided to simply come out and stop the three from doing any more verbal damage. Moving through the room he went directly to the Healer for support and a neutral corner.   
  
Jeffrey was surprised when Snape willingly came to him and accepted a hug. His father must have been doing some good work to have the intensely private wizard seek out physical contact.  
  
Why didn't you stun them? Snape whispered into the Healer's ear. Barnes snorted and held tighter as he poured in a warmth of healing energy.  
  
I was weighing the ethical implications when you came in, the Healer replied as he tugged his patient to the couch. He hadn't scanned Snape for two days and wondered how he was healing.  
  
Dr. James said I was better, Snape offered, suddenly reluctant at this uninvited invasion.   
  
Yes, he told me. He also mentioned you were healing a  
bit slower than normal for you. Just going to nose about, Barnes explained as he snugged his patient closer, hands stroking down his back. With a sigh Snape relaxed into the Healer's concern.  
  
Across the room the three principals glared at one another while tracking the movements of their ill friend. Once settled on the couch they quickly declared a truce and went to sit near the Healer.   
  
Jeffrey noted several areas of damage that needed attention. He also noted the fine tremor was much better. Shifting slightly he managed to pull Snape up onto his lap and rocked him shamelessly. He was rewarded by a raised eyebrow.  
  
If you dare start to sing... Snape growled. With a laugh Jeffrey moved his hand down his patient's torso feeding in specific energy and charms. The warmth and relief filled Snape and he curled into the Healer without another complaint.  
  
  
  
How is Severus doing? Dumbledore asked in subdued tones. His child had now cuddled quite willingly into the young Healer's arms drawing rather concerned looks from all three attentive wizards. Barnes smirked.  
  
Seems to be asleep. Mostly, the Healer replied snugging his patient closer. Snape sighed and accepted the affection. Once either Healer suffused him with their energy he simply melted into them. It was better than anything he could remember. Well, almost anything as his mind recalled Lupin.   
  
the Headmaster growled a bit. Pesky Healer! Barnes stifled a snicker.  
  
ahem, well, he's physically healing a little slower than we'd  
like to see. The damage to his groin is much more extensive   
than we first believed, Barnes moved his hand to scan Snape's lower back and pursed his lips. Some more energy fed into the spot.  
emotionally he's bearing up much better than I was   
expecting given how much sleeping draughts and soothing  
potions he's been given the past three days. Black shifted uncomfortably.  
  
He had a very bad night. He managed to have a series  
of progressively worse nightmares even with the potion  
Dr. James gave him, the animagus explained. Jeffrey raised a curious eyebrow.  
  
We managed to get him to Albus and gave him the sleeping  
draught. He was very upset, Lupin added. Again the appraising look.  
  
He slept until nearly eleven when your father stopped in, Dumbledore reported.   
  
Jeffrey knew all this but he wanted the three warring factions to band together and convince him they'd done all they could to make Snape comfortable. It was amazing how three men who all wanted the same thing could disagreed on the methods to achieve it.  
  
You've all done a great job looking after Sev, the young Healer smiled.  
As long as you don't hex one another... All three wizards shifted uncomfortably.  
  
I just don't want Severus to be hurt anymore, Dumbledore managed.  
  
None of us want Sev to be hurt again, Lupin said in a quiet voice.  
  
I appreciate that, Snape suddenly said, but it isn't   
realistic. Turning his head he looked at the animagus first than glanced at Lupin and the Headmaster.   
  
That's true, the Healer murmured. We can't shelter  
Severus from his life.  
  
Well, not shelter from, but more support you Sev. You  
have had a lot of crap thrown at you all at once, Black spoke out as he shifted back into his chair.  
Just going out to the manor is going to be hard. Snape absolutely froze, causing Jeffrey to shift his weight back against him.  
  
Just thinking about my h-home is hard, Snape managed as he sank into the Healer's warmth. The animagus mentally kicked himself and earned a glare from his mate.   
  
I know it's hard child, Dumbledore murmured. But you  
have so much still. There was a muffled laugh from the Potions Master.   
  
Like m-my health! gods how... Snape started then stopped. The room sank into deathly silence. This was certainly taking a huge downturn and Jeffrey's mind turned to the potions sitting just out of reach.  
  
Sev? Severus! It will all work out, you'll be fine, Barnes tried. Tried and was rewarded with increased trembling and a derisive snort.  
  
It's going to work out whether you think so or not, Dumbledore asserted. The Headmaster stood and sat next to Jeffrey. With a paternal growl he pulled Snape onto his lap and completely enfolded him in a hug.  
  
For a brief moment the Potions Master snarled, but only a brief moment. He then simply rested against his mentor and struggled to slow his breathing. No matter what else happened Snape did trust Dumbledore completely. If Albus said it would be all right, then it would be. Eventually.  
  
  
  
Jeffrey decided to stay the night tucking Snape into bed between himself and the Headmaster _without_ any potions.   
  
If you're going to have bad dreams, Severus, we'll simply  
wake you. The potions didn't really help much last night  
and actually hurt you more, Barnes explained as he gathered his patient against his body.  
  
But I might thrash and hit you or Albus, Snape said softly as he tried to get comfortable. Barnes had to struggle not to laugh. Although Snape had gotten out of bed the night before he was not a threat by any reckoning.   
  
Don't worry Sev, we'll be just fine, the Healer murmured running a soothing warmth over the Potions Master's back. He muttered a sleeping charm sending Snape into much needed sleep.  
  



	18. Chapter 18: Breakthrough?

Title: When Harry Left Severus  
  
rating: R for adult themes including male/male relationships.   
  
Chapter 18 - Breakthrough?  
by: Raven Dancer  
  
disclaimer: All characters belong to J.K. Rowling except for the Drs. Barnes, Daniel Murphy and Beryl. I receive no monetary compensation for these works.   
  
Warning: male/male smooching ahead.  
  


******************~******************  


  
Black pushed wearily against the door to Dumbledore's offices. He'd spent a long morning with his godson. Damned long. Harry was still ambivalent in his feelings towards Snape. Black was getting a little more than angry with the young man.  
  
So he'd left Harry with Hagrid and Lupin. The half-giant had recently acquired several new creatures including a pair of rosy boas. They'd been very agitated, unusual for the normally placid creatures, and Harry was quickly involved in trying to soothe them. Lupin offered to stay for awhile and encouraged his mate to go rest.  
  
The Animagus was tired. He'd had a difficult time sleeping the night before (blaming it on the coffee Lupin had suggested then not help drink) and the morning NOT arguing with Harry had not helped matters at all. He closed the door and noticed Jeffrey packing up his satchel.  
  
Wonderful! I was hoping you or Remus would come back, the Healer smiled.  
I'm off to the clinic. I've just managed to get Severus to  
fall asleep again without any potions. Do you mind sitting  
with him in case he has a bad dream? Black sighed and looked towards the couch.  
  
I don't mind; I was thinking of a bit of a nap myself, the animagus replied.  
  
Then just slide up next to Sev. He does sleep best with  
a warm body next to him. Albus is down sorting out some  
problems with a student prank so it'll just be you for awhile, Barnes explained.  
  
Really? A prank? I really should offer to teach an elective  
on that, Black smirked.  
  
You should probably push for a full professorship; from   
what I've heard you were a master, Barnes retorted, and not necessarily in a pleasant tone. Black had the decency to blush slightly.   
  
Barnes muttered. I have worked with Severus for  
years and your pranks were well discussed. I'm just relieved  
that you two have really buried the hatchet.  
  
Well, Remus certainly helped us both. And I have been lucky  
enough to really get to know Severus this past year. He's  
a very... _interesting_ man, Black managed. The tone and choice of word caused Barnes to smirk.  
  
Rather enticing, eh? Barnes teased and Black's blush deepened. The Healer patted his shoulder.  
  
He's a complex man, Sirius. More than deserving of love  
and respect. You need to help him accept what's being  
offered to him, Jeffrey suggested.  
  
You think he's ready for... encouragement? Black fumbled about looking for the right terminology.  
  
I think you need to tell him privately how you feel about this  
relationship Remus wants. The relationship _you_ want. And if  
you do a bit more than telling'... well... showing' some   
affection wouldn't be remiss, either, Barnes picked up his satchel, which had been shrunk, and tucked it in his pocket.  
  
But I have held him... Black began.  
  
Yes, yes, and kissed him when he was asleep or just waking  
up so he's not quite sure of the intent, Barnes jumped in.  
You need to leave no doubt in his mind. Once Severus   
really knows where he stands with you I think the difficulties  
with Albus' over-protection will clear up. Black just shook his head, rubbing his face in disbelief.  
  
Take a nap, Sirius. Rest, Barnes suggested as he went to the door.  
Oh, there's a couple soothing potions on the table. Nothing  
too strong but just in case. I plan to tell my Da we're cutting  
back on the potions. I think Severus is more than capable of  
working through his problems if we give him the chance.  
  
Right. Although I'll probably take one myself the way I'm   
feeling, the animagus mumbled.  
  
Mmmm? Well, if you really need one use the diazepam. It's  
a muggle product but it works quite well to calm frazzled  
nerves without the ensnaring properties. One tablet should  
do you, Barnes said.  
The powder in the envelop is the doxipen-based stuff that  
leaves Severus rather vulnerable. But it works well at   
stopping his depressive hysteria.  
  
I'm more frazzled than anything else, but I'll try the nap first, Black replied.   
  
Sleep well, Sirius, Barnes said and left the office. Black glanced over at the couch. It had been widened but not enough for two. Slide in? Not possible. But the lounge was wide enough especially if Snape were arranged carefully. Using his wand he levitated the sleeping wizard and after lying down on the lounge Snape was lowered down.  
  
Black sighed as he pulled the blanket over them both. He relaxed into the warmth of his sleeping companion.  
  
  
  
Snape woke slowly. He was wrapped snugly against a long lean body. Which was snoring.  
  
Loudly!  
  
Moving carefully the Potions Master was able to nudge his companion and disrupt the noise. Black rumbled and turned carrying Snape with him. He found himself snugged securely under the animagus' chin pillowed against his shoulder.  
  
Sighing Snape struggled slightly getting his arm untangled from the blanket. Finally free he pulled back enough to look at the sleeping man.   
  
Sirius Black was still handsome, the long years in prison and fighting in the trenches under Dumbledore only added to his beauty. Even his hair was lovely and Snape reached up carefully to brush a few strands off his lax face. Soft. Not snarled and greasy as his own was.   
  
Black was also relatively scar-free; there had been opportunities to see the muscular back and somewhat hairy chest at the manor fresh from a swim or stumbling in search of a hot cuppa first thing in the morning. The animagus was not a morning person by any stretch of the imagination!  
  
Snape couldn't blame Lupin for wanting to go back to his mate so readily. There was no comparison: Snape's own too-thin torso was liberally covered with scars. Lashings and beatings from his death eater days and even back to his childhood left many marks. His face had been spared only so there would be no embarrassing questions.  
  
Nothing there to hold anyone's affections. Especially topped with his less than acceptable background. Snape had come to accept he was a good man, an honorable man, from years of counseling with Jeffrey. Having Albus Dumbledore's love and protection certainly reinforced that. But outside of a very small circle of friends most people saw the tattoo and the malicious whispers followed him. Snape had been a superb role-player during all those years and even the death of Voldemort at his own hands did not clear him in the public's eyes.  
  
So there was no way that Lupin or Black would ever look at him for any reason except perhaps pity.   
  
Severus? What's wrong? Your eyes... you look so sad, Black said softly breaking into the Potions Master's depression. Snape startled and stared at his very awake companion.  
  
N-nothing Sirius. Nothing important, the ill wizard managed to mumble. He felt a soft hand running up and down his back as Black tugged him closer.  
  
I think it is important Sev. You can tell me, Black encouraged. Snape moved weakly against the strong body.  
  
Just, just thinking how lucky you and Remus are, Snape blurted out. Black looked at the slight blush on his companion's face. At the melancholy flourishing in his eyes. The animagus was at a loss for words.  
  
So he kissed Snape. A rather chaste thing, gently pressing his lips against the surprised squeak of his companion. Then he carefully shifted his lips, opening slightly to better taste the startled Potions Master.  
  
At first stiff, Snape slowly relaxed into the animagus' welcoming body. Sensing acceptance Black began to place a row of small kisses around his mouth before attempting another full lip lock. The squeaks of surprise were replaced by a interested hum.   
  
Fingers came into play. The animagus kneaded the Potions Master's shoulders as he rolled pulling Snape across his torso. No longer passive Snape's hands moved up into the soft hair that had drawn his attention earlier. Lightly entangling his fingers in the silkiness he moved closer still into the wonderful kiss.  
  
I think, Black said pausing from kissing the armful of Potions Master,  
I think Remie and I just got luckier. At the mention of his ex-lover's name Snape went still then tried to push back, fear and shame painted on his face.  
  
S-s-sorry Sirius. I... was as far as Snape got when his mouth was recaptured and penetrated with short thrusts of a warm tongue. With a moan the Potions Master gave into the animagus. After a few moments of slowly cataloguing his companion's mouth Black pulled back.  
  
Severus, Remus and I really do love you. Love... You... Black punctuated the two words with soft kisses to Snape's astonished face.  
  
But you two are mates, Snape managed to gasp as eager lips explored his sensitive brows.  
  
Yes, we committed to each other a year before James  
and Lily died and I ended up in Azkaban, Black agreed as his hands moved slowly up and down Snape's back encouraging him to stay close.  
But you and Remus were together over twelve years dear  
one. Twelve years you took care of my Remus and he took   
care of you, the animagus continued.  
  
I love Remus, Snape admitted under the sensual barrage. Black's roving lips traced along his jaw up to his ear and began moving against the sensitive skin just behind it.  
  
This elicited a long moan which was very encouraging to say the least for Black.  
  
Remus loves you Severus. Very... Much... Black murmured as he discovered another extremely sensitive spot on Snape's neck.  
He loves you as much as he loves me.   
  
Snape gasped as teeth gently came into play nibbling along his neck. His body began to quiver. Black pulled back and looked into the depthless black eyes.  
  
We want you to be with us, Black said. Snape's moist eyes blinked back tears. No words came but the Potions Master rested his head against the animagus' chest and accepted the comfort offered.   
  
  
  
Dumbledore watched Black rock the ill wizard back to sleep, promising to care and protect Snape. As for love, that would go along at a pace comfortable for the Potions Master. Feeling incredibly safe and wanted the ill wizard sighed and began to doze. Neither had noted the Headmaster sitting silently on the couch. The shielding charm had been helpful in that regard!   
  
The older wizard had listened, held himself back when Black first kissed Snape. Finally smiled when his child had rested again secure in the animagus' arms. Perhaps Jeffrey was right; Lupin and Black did love Snape.   
  
Dumbledore knew Snape loved Lupin. He had a sneaky little suspicion Snape might just care about Black, too. The Headmaster suddenly felt a great weight lift off his shoulders he didn't know he'd been carrying. With a distracted wave he ended the charm and stood up.  
  
*Uh oh, this is not going to be good* Black thought to himself as the older wizard suddenly appeared in front of him. Cool blue eyes slowly traveled over the two men nestled together on the lounge.  
  
Dumbledore asked quietly.  
  
Appears to be, Black hedged. The Headmaster nodded and simply _walked away_ leaving the animagus in confusion.   
  
That's it?! Black suddenly called out halting Dumbledore in his tracks.  
  
a carefully tooled query. Black's temper reared up to compensate for his fear.  
  
You stood there and watched me snog with Severus  
and you don't say a bloody thing! the animagus snapped.   
  
Should I say something? Dumbledore turned, his eyes sharp, boring into Black's.   
  
No, you really shouldn't Albus, Snape's thin voice cut through the tension and caused both wizards to startle. The Potions Master gave Black a light kiss on his cheek and slowly pushed up gaining his feet unsteadily.  
  
But you can help me to the loo, Snape continued holding a hand out to his mentor. With alacrity Dumbledore was at his child's side supporting him. Black stood and eased his arm around the Potions Master's waist. Together they took care of their friend.  
  
  
  
  
Hey! Remus! Dr. James Barnes called out across the field. He'd spotted the wizard with a group of students who were trudging slowly towards the castle. A friendly drifted back to him accompanied with a broad wave of an arm. Continuing down the path the Healer watched the wizard turn to another adult in the group before running gracefully to join him.  
  
Dr. James, Lupin nodded with a smile as he matched the Healer's pace.  
I wasn't expecting you this evening.   
  
I had a house call. Actually a farm call, Dr. James smiled.  
I thought I'd stop by to see my favorite patient before  
heading home. Where were you off to?  
  
Oh, I spent some time with Hagrid. He has some new  
animals. Then I joined his afternoon class on a little trip  
to the edge of the forest to gather some moss for a stag  
that he's nursing back to health, Lupin replied. They walked together for a moment in silence before several students crossed their paths.   
  
Mr. Lupin? Is Harry Potter going to come down to dinner  
tonight? a student asked rather out of breath.   
  
I don't know. He was down with Professor Hagrid at lunch, Lupin began to reply.  
  
Oh, yes, we saw him when we came out! But he went into  
the hut before we could talk with him, another student added.  
  
He's rather shy, Lupin started to explain but was met with delighted laughs.  
  
Harry Potter shy? That's not what my uncle said! declared a sixth year Gryffindor.  
He gave me a picture of Potter in France at this village pub.  
Said he was shaking everybody's hands and chatted the   
whole time. Lupin just shrugged.  
  
I don't know if he's coming down. Best get on and wash   
up for dinner yourselves! the werewolf encouraged and stopped in by the door with the Healer. They waited until all the students had filed in and disappeared down the hall. Barnes glanced at his companion.  
  
So, should I ask how your time with Harry went? the Healer asked tentatively. Lupin snorted.  
  
Oh, it was fine. Harry's less paranoid since the potions wore  
off. He's going to the Ministry to see Vachel's questioning   
and arraignment on various charges tomorrow, Lupin explained. Barnes' eyebrow raised.  
  
he pressed. Lupin pretended to look confused by the prompt for a moment then broke down.  
  
And he's trying to decide if he loves Vachel or Severus, the wizard huffed.   
  
Harry thinks he loves Severus? Dr. James asked sharply.  
  
Harry doesn't know what he thinks. He is rather mixed-up   
at the moment, Lupin reported as he moved through the door. Barnes followed and was soon walking next to him down the long dim hallway.  
  
Has Harry been up to see Severus? the Healer asked lightly.  
  
Lupin said sharply, then softer, No. Jeffrey doesn't   
want him near Severus yet. Probably won't let them get  
together until he has time to talk with Severus about all that's  
happened. James nodded in agreement.  
  
Yes, you're right. I certainly don't see any reason to let  
Harry speak with Severus. Harry needs to figure out Vachel  
first, the Healer replied. I don't want him anywhere near  
Severus for now! They had come to the Headmaster's passage and were soon on the upward spiral.  
  
Jeffrey shooed us all out this morning. He spent the night   
but I thought you were suppose to come for the day! Lupin lightly complained.  
  
Well, Jeffrey wanted to ascertain how Severus was doing  
emotionally. No need for both of us to be here, Barnes explained. Lupin sighed.  
  
Grand. After the nightmares and arguing I'm sure he's less than happy with us! the werewolf grumbled.  
  
Severus had nightmares, plural, even with the potions I gave  
him? Dr. James asked. He received a strong affirmative.   
Jeffrey's not going to be happy with ME then. I have been  
very insistent Severus take those potions and he's been  
nearly equally insistent Severus should not. If the nightmares  
bled through then the dosage will either be doubled or   
eliminated totally. If Jeffrey has his way they'll be eliminated.  
  
Maybe he's still here, Lupin said as he pushed on the door into the Headmaster's office. Glancing about they saw Dumbledore pouring out tea at the table. Black was hovering near the bedroom door seemingly watching someone beyond. Together they moved towards the animagus.  
  
So, is Jeffrey still here? Barnes asked.  
  
No, left hours ago. Just waiting on Mr. "I-don't-need-any-  
help" to get a hairbrush, Black grumbled.   
  
Impatient mutt, retorted the Potions Master as he emerged from the bedroom, brush in hand, his long hair was going every which way. As Snape pushed past Black, a sneer plastered on his face, he looked up and saw Lupin. The sneer vanished instantly and a shy smile crept over his lips.  
  
Hi Remie, came a much softer voice. Barnes was immediately curious about the change of demeanor. Lupin simply grinned and raised his hand to pat his friend on the back. The Potions Master slipped under the arm and leaned slightly against the startled man.  
  
+hug him!+ Black whispered sharply, snapping Lupin from his surprise. Quickly he gathered Snape into his arms and held tight. He could feel the tremors, a constant reminder of the Potions Master's weakened condition. Lupin gently kissed his forehead.  
  
Hi love, Lupin murmured and was suddenly looking into Snape's dark eyes. He could see some fear and hesitancy but also longing. Longing? Lupin raised an eyebrow in query.  
  
Missed you, came the tentative voice. Lupin lowered his eyebrow trying to figure out what was wrong, what he was missing. Snape's tongue darted out to wet his lower lip before closing his eyes. Finally he sighed and rested his head against Lupin's shoulder.  
  
Black rolled his eyes in exasperation. Dumb fool just missed his chance to kiss Snape. Dr. James smirked and quelled his urge to snicker.  
  
Well, Severus, let me have a scan and then we'll get your  
hair brushed out, Barnes smiled broadly and held his hand out to his patient. With a final look of pure desire at Lupin, Snape huffed in frustration and accepted the Healer's lead. Pausing, the werewolf looked at his mate in confusion.  
  
You should have kissed him silly! Black growled crossly.  
I snogged with him and survived Albus and you chickened  
out! Unable to pursue the conversation, especially with Dumbledore standing so near with a knowing smirk, Lupin simply excused himself and hid in the loo to regroup.


	19. Chapter 19: Confession and Confusion

Title: When Harry Left Severus  
  
rating: R for adult themes including male/male relationships.   
  
Chapter 19 Confessions and Confusion  
by: Raven Dancer   
  
disclaimer: All characters belong to J.K. Rowling except for the Drs. Barnes, Daniel Murphy and Beryl. I receive no monetary compensation for these works. Although it is a pretty good method of psychological release...  
  


*******************~*******************  


  
Please state your full name, Officer Taylor said.  
  
Vachel D'Usati, the young french wizard recited stoically.  
  
Mr. D'Usati, you are to be given veritaserum and questioned  
in regards to the assault on Severus Snape and the   
destruction of Snape Manor, the officer stated as he set a small cup of juice in front of him. Vachel picked up the cup and drained it immediately then set it down and turned all his attention to the officer across from him.   
  
Harry pushed back into his chair between Jeffrey and Sirius. Dumbledore was in the room with the prisoner beyond the glass sitting silently next to Daniel Murphy. Taylor referred to a parchment and began questioning Vachel.  
  
For a moment Harry heard nothing, only watched lips moved. He wondered if a silencing charm had been cast over the glass then realized he could hear everything. Suddenly a warm hand patted his shoulder as Sirius' arm settled over the back of his chair.  
  
Black asked quietly. Harry nodded and settled back, head leaning against his Godfather's arm.  
  
How did you come to know Mr. Snape? Taylor was moving down his list slowly. Vachel answers were brief.  
  
He is my fiancee's ex-lover, Vachel replied. Murphy looked up.  
  
Who is your fiancé? the head of security asked.  
  
Harry Potter. We are to be bonded on the winter solstice, Vachel was compelled to answer. Taylor resumed control.  
  
Did you go out to Mr. Snape's manor? he asked.  
  
Vachel retorted. Taylor raised an eyebrow. Perhaps he needed a higher dose? The French wizard had remarkable control.  
  
When did you go to the manor? Dates and time of day, the officer questioned.  
  
The first time with Ben in late May, I do not recall the date.  
It was in the afternoon. Snape was alone. We picked up  
some of Harry's things and tested the wards to see if they  
had been changed. Ben had taken polyjuice and acted the  
part of Harry, Vachel replied. The next time was June the   
second in the early evening.  
  
Who went with you? Who followed you? Taylor was having to be much more specific than he anticipated. A small bead of sweat gathered on the young French wizard's brow.  
  
Harry went with me. Andy, Iris, Ben and Vince followed.  
They waited by the windows of Snape's room, Vachel ground out. Fighting the potion was impossible and he was about to give up the struggle.  
  
Please state their full names for the records, Taylor pursued.  
  
Harry Potter, Andrew Rauch, Iris Rene Hallen, Benjamin Adelle and Vincent Crabbe, the wizard reported.  
  
Vincent Crabbe? Harry bolted upright. I never saw Crabbe  
out at Vachel's!  
  
Perhaps he disguised himself, Jeffrey suggested. They  
certainly found enough polyjuice in the house.  
  
Crabbe's father was killed during the last battle, Harry recalled.  
  
Albus killed him during the final battle. There was a line  
of death eaters between us and you, Black explained.   
  
I remember. Severus was called separately when I faced  
Voldemort. He'd been exposed and Voldemort was going  
to torture him before killing me, Harry remembered the complete feeling of devastation knowing his lover was about to die. He turned back to the questioning.  
  
...met in a small coffee shop outside of Lyon, Vachel ground out.  
  
Was this part of the plan?   
  
the young wizard was now sweating freely as Taylor carefully scanned his notes. Harry leaned forward; he remembered that very first day. Vachel had been so vibrant and made him feel very alive.   
  
What was the plan regarding Snape before Harry Potter? Murphy asked suddenly without consulting Taylor.  
  
They had been searching for ways to get into Snape Manor.  
Vincent knew where the manor was but the wards were too  
strong, too complicated. They had been lying in wait just in  
case they could sneak in, Vachel replied more easily. Dumbledore leaned over and carefully wrote out a message for Murphy who in turn shared it with Taylor.  
  
You say . What was your involvement at the time? Taylor asked. Vachel sipped nervously at a glass of water.  
  
I had opened my home to my friends. I was not involved  
with their plans at that time, he replied.  
  
Murphy pursued.  
  
I did not know this batard Snape at the time. Only that  
he was the one who killed my friends' leader. He killed  
Voldemort and my friends' families were decimated, Vachel unexpectantly launched into a longer speech.  
My friends, they lost everything! You sons of bitches took  
their homes, their monies, their belongings! You took and  
took and left them nothing! Their parents thrown into your  
prison and executed by those _things_ that suck out the life,  
the soul! Uncles and aunts met the same fate or fled from  
your gloating vengeance. Where were these children   
suppose to go? There was nothing left! NOTHING! You   
turned them out to the streets.   
  
For a moment the three interrogators were stunned. But Dumbledore regrouped first.  
  
I cannot speak for Rauch, Adelle or Hallen, but Vincent   
Crabbe was offered room and board and a chance to further   
his studies in London, the Headmaster said flatly. Vachel stared in disbelief.  
  
There were no offers. Iris and Andrew came to me, my   
oldest friends. They had nothing left. Vincent met Iris  
before the persecutions, Vachel said with the fervor of a believer. Murphy touched Dumbledore requesting his silence.  
  
So the plot to kill Severus Snape did not include Harry in  
the beginning, Murphy redirected the questioning.  
  
It did not. It wasn't until after I invited Harry back to stay   
with me that Iris recognized him. The lightening bolt, Vachel described the scar in the air.   
She recognized him at once. I did not. I only thought him  
attractive. Harry was very interesting. I didn't know he was  
important!  
  
But you went along with your friends new plans, Taylor pressed.  
  
I wanted to help my friends. They were so much in pain, so  
sad. Harry did not seem to like Snape either, at least he did  
not profess to love him. I saw no problem using Harry's   
knowledge of the manor to gain access. Andrew and Iris,  
they were very good at asking questions. Harry told us so  
much about everything. When he started to hesitate I would  
ask. When he wouldn't answer even me, then they gave  
him potions. I do not know the name, not like this truth dope  
you have forced on me! The veritaserum was in full force coursing through the young wizard compelling him to talk. He chattered without any more attempt to control himself.  
  
Harry told us so much without the potions. I think he hates  
that evil man! Why else would he be so willing to tell about  
his wards? Vachel threw out. Dumbledore glared past the French wizard at the glass wall. Why indeed? A second jab from Murphy kept him from voicing his question.  
  
You and your friends learned as much about the wards   
on the manor, Taylor said firmly.  
  
I went with Ben in late May. We tested a few wards. The  
fool never changed them, Vachel spat out.  
  
He had no reason to, Harry whispered to no one at all. Sirius flinched but Jeffrey took the young man's hand and gently squeezed his support.   
  
Voldemort was dead, the Healer stated quietly.  
  
And he trusted me. Why did he trust me? Severus never  
trusted anyone! Harry groaned. Barnes wanted to jerk his hand back. Only his training kept him still. Damn brat still wanted to blame everyone else for his part in the attack! The great Harry Potter could do no wrong!  
  
And that was the problem: Harry needed to believe he was fully good and had no darkness in him. He had not come to understand the grays that filled each person. Oh yes, this young man was going to be referred to a new counselor! Someone who didn't have to tamp down the desire to slap him.  
  
Severus loved you Harry. You loved him. Why wouldn't he  
trust you? Black asked trying to keep the anger from his voice.  
  
He should have changed his wards! Harry growled defensively.  
  
You shouldn't have shared such private information, Black snapped back. Harry's eyes grew wide.  
  
I was under their control, Harry choked out. Black took a deep breath getting ready to retort when Barnes stepped in.  
  
Now is not the time for this discussion, the Healer said firmly, glaring at the animagus. Harry was not ready for this and he would not push his patient. Personal feelings aside Harry did not deserve to be attacked. There were too many issues being dragged up and he could tell the young wizard was shutting down.   
We are here to listen to testimony. Barnes gently eased some calming energy into Harry.   
  
Black stared a long moment at the Healer before releasing his breath. Then he took another lungful of air and settled back next to his godson. He purposefully dropped his arm over Harry's shoulder and gave him a small squeeze of apology. With a sigh the youth rested his head against his godfather's shoulder.  
  
...chained him to the wall. I heard Harry's godfather yelling  
in the hallway. Andy told me to go and they would take care   
of Snape, Vachel explained.  
  
What does take care of Snape mean exactly? Taylor pressed.  
  
I had been told it meant beating him up a bit then destroying  
his home, Vachel said cooly. I did not know until later that  
they'd hoped to kill Snape. This drew disbelieving looks from his interrogators.  
  
But he was chained to the wall! What did you think was  
going to happen? Murphy asked somewhat taken aback.  
  
The agreement going in was they were going to drag him   
out into the garden. Vincent had scoped out the area and  
they were going to put Snape somewhere beyond the   
fountain, Vachel said.  
  
So you didn't know they tried to murder Snape, Taylor pushed one more time.  
  
I did not know they tried. They knew I was completely  
against killing him. I was angry when they told me. Harry,  
he became very angry. They obliterated the knowledge from  
him, the wizard explained.  
  
  
  
THEY DID WHAT!?! Harry rose out of his chair. Beyond the window the questioning continued as the shielding charms did their job.  
  
Harry, he can't hear you, Black pulled at his godson trying to return him to his seat.  
  
WHAT ELSE DID YOU TAKE AWAY FROM ME! Harry lunged towards the view wall. It was only the concerted efforts of both Barnes and Black that kept the youth from hitting the barrier. Not that it would have mattered to the people in the next room.  
  
Ssshh, calm down Harry, Black soothed as Barnes pulsed him with calming energy.   
  
I HATE YOU! Harry screamed at his fiancé. Snatches of questions and answers moved around them proving the young wizard being questioned did not hear him.   
  
...come forward because I have no chance. No matter  
what happened I will be sent to that prison of yours and  
sucked dry by your pets, Vachel spat out sullenly.  
  
There is a big difference between aiding the destruction of  
the manor and attempted murder, Murphy pointed out.  
  
Mr. D'Usati, do you have anything else to add at this time? Taylor asked formally, his list of questions exhausted.  
  
he answered quickly. But what is going to happen to  
me and my friends?  
  
You will be arraigned shortly on being an accomplice to the  
destruction of the manor and attack on Snape. Your friends  
will have the added charge of attempted murder, Murphy said. Vachel gave a curt nod of understanding.  
  
Your lawyer will be brought in to see you in a private room.  
You may also send messages out to two people at that   
time. Officer Taylor will bring you back to your holding cell, Murphy explained. At that Vachel stood followed by Taylor and the security chief. Dumbledore remained seated, his fingers steepled. He carefully watched the man, child to him, shuffle to the door. One question, just one more question would put a lot of the pain to rest for Harry.  
  
Do you love Harry? Dumbledore asked causing Vachel to freeze in the doorway. Harry froze too, caught in the headlights of the question.  
  
Yes, I love Harry, Vachel said softly.  
  
The answer even surprised the usually omniscient Headmaster. And it certainly did not put the pain to rest.  
  
  
  
It was an exhausted group that floo'd back to Hogwarts that evening. Black and Barnes quietly deliberated if they wanted food or drink more. Harry slunk next to the Headmaster not adding to the conversation. The Headmaster's rooms were dim causing most of the group to wonder where Lupin and Snape were.  
  
It's just dinner time in the great hall, Dumbledore muttered as he waved open curtains letting in the late sun. The light was greeted with a low hiss from the couch. Turning all four could see Lupin squinting his eyes against the light while Snape slept.  
  
So that's where you got to, Barnes said lightly, crossing the room. Black noted that although the Healer quickly started to scan the Potions Master he also had put himself in a defensive position. The Animagus moved next to his Godson.  
  
Let's go eat Harry, he gently pushed on the younger wizard's back. But Harry did not move, merely stood looking at the sleeping wizard.  
  
He's, he's so thin, Harry said in a worried voice. Black now tugged on him.  
  
He has always been thin. Let's let him sleep. Maybe Remus  
will join us? Black asked hopefully. He could use a good hug from his mate just about now. Lupin was in fact moving off the couch so that the Healer could take over.  
  
I'll wash up and be right down, the werewolf said quietly as he stretched his back.   
  
We need to wash too, Harry said still staring at his ex-lover.   
  
Then let's go down to the staff loo near the hall. There  
is more room there, Black suggested. Still Harry stared, feeling very confused.  
  
Is he sleeping all right? Severus always had the worst nightmares, the young wizard said not moving.  
  
Harry, he's doing quite well. He does have some trouble  
with nightmares so when we can get him to rest we like to let   
him sleep, Barnes said in a low tone. Snape was shifting slightly under his scan.  
  
I could sit with him, Harry whispered.  
  
No, he's fine. Let's just go to dinner, Black suggested. He was supported by Lupin who came in front of Harry and broke his eye contact with Snape's sleeping figure. The lethargy lifted and they were able to shuffle him out the door and down stairs.  
  
Barnes smoothed back stray strands of hair. He was pleased to see that someone had taken the time to brush out the Potions Master's tangles. He looked better just for that.  
  
How is Severus? Dumbledore broke into his musings.  
  
Oh, sorry! I was drifting wasn't I? Barnes quirked a quick grin.  
He seems to be fine, actually. Must have had a good day.  
  
Of course I had a good day. You were out of my hair! Snape grumbled as he moved beneath the Healer's inquisitive hands. Dumbledore came closer.  
  
Hi Severus! Miss me? the Headmaster teased. He was rewarded with a distasteful sneer.  
  
Snape snorted with disdain.  
  
You are feeling better aren't you child? Dumbledore gushed quite happily. Snape sported a grimace for another moment then his face dissolved into a small, shy smile.  
  
Missed you Albus, the Potions Master murmured. He was rewarded with a light kiss to his forehead and a caress.   
  
Did you have a good day Severus? Barnes asked as he assisted his patient is sitting up.  
  
mmhmmm. Except that Remus insisted we go for a walk, Snape answered as he leaned against the Healer for a moment. Both Barnes and Dumbledore stifled grins.  
  
Good. Da and I felt a little more exercise would help you  
sleep better, the Healer explained as he finished his scan.  
  
I certainly did nap without waking. Until you started   
prodding, Snape groused. Barnes just smirked.  
  
After we eat you can walk me down to Minerva's office.  
I need to see what happened here today, Dumbledore smiled at the grimace.  
  
She'll probably gush about seeing me on the stairs earlier.  
Disgusting display of emotions, Snape muttered.   
  
Then it'll will be good news all-round, the Headmaster enthused as he helped his friend up off the couch. He didn't try to quell his smile: Snape was grousing!   



	20. Chapter 20: Awakenings

Title: When Harry Left Severus  
  
rating: R for adult themes including male/male relationships.   
  
Chapter 20 Awakenings  
by: Raven Dancer  
  
disclaimer: All characters belong to J.K. Rowling except for the Drs. Barnes, Daniel Murphy and Beryl. I receive no monetary compensation for these works.   
  


********************~********************  


  
  
He woke, eyes flying open taking in the room. gods, it had to be the Headmaster's office, on the lounge, in the middle of the day! Snape struggled to slow his breathing, quell the groans that welled up from his very excited body.  
  
That certainly was NOT a nightmare. The warm stickiness that spread over his stomach soaking into his sleepshirt was not sweat. He was 43 years old and he had a wet dream! His face burned in embarrassment.  
  
Feeling better Severus? Dr. James' cheerful voice caused Snape to freeze. Then he jerked the covers over his head. Maybe if he were very quiet they'd all think he was asleep.  
  
Severus? I know you're awake, the Healer chided him.  
  
I'm, I'm feeling ill, Snape managed to eke out.  
  
Mmmhmmm, ill. Then let me scan you... Barnes began.   
  
No, no, I just need to get to the loo! Snape insisted still a bit breathless.  
  
Severus, I know you didn't have a nightmare... the Healer said gently.  
  
Yeah, _everyone_ knows, Snape lamented. It really was too much and he pulled the cover tighter over his face as he twisted into a smaller ball.  
  
No, not _everyone_ knows. Your entourage' has left for the   
afternoon. It's just you and me, Barnes carefully touched the rigid back and rubbed softly.  
  
Just you? Snape queried in a small voice.  
  
Just me, Dr. James answered. The Potions Master considered the implications.  
  
That's still one too many! snapped the hiding wizard. Barnes chuckled.  
  
It's a natural function Severus! Happens to everyone! the Healer carefully began to scan.  
  
To a teenager. I haven't had a wet dream in years! the Potions Master sounded a bit pathetic.  
  
Sorry. I think they're lots of fun, Barnes said patiently as he tugged at the blanket. Snape snorted indignantly.  
You need to come out sometime. I will not laugh. I am  
barely smiling!   
  
Snape huffed. The Healer grinned mischievously and sent in a strong steam of energy. Given his patient's post-coital state the fading feelings of bliss were suddenly intensified.  
  
  
moaned the Potions Master twitching under the Healer's ministrations. Blankets were released and soon Snape was untangled. He lie on the on the lounge looking more relaxed and a bit debauched.  
  
You should be glad it is me and not Jeffrey, Dr. James smirked.   
  
You... can't imagine... how glad... I am... Snape panted as the renewed sensations began to dissipate. Barnes had ceased the flow and was scanning his patient intently.   
  
You systems are healing albeit slowly. You can NOT engage  
in active sex but a few more dreams would be good... the Healer reported shamelessly.  
  
I was wrong. I wish Jeffrey was here instead, Snape glared. Of course, given his current state it was rather cute.  
  
Jeffrey would want to know exactly what you dreamed   
about. In detail, the Healer pointed out indifferently. His patient's glare immediately shifted back to a slight blush. Barnes had to fight not to smirk.  
  
Why is this happening at all? the Potions Master asked miserably. Dr. James stood and helped his patient to his feet.  
  
Your body is healing. You have been thinking about your  
ability to have sex? Barnes countered with a question. Snape sighed as he allowed himself to be propelled towards the washroom.  
  
Yes. I've been thinking, the Potions Master admitted.  
  
Sirius and Remus seem to be encouraging you to think  
about certain things, too? again the gentle question in response. This drew another sigh.  
  
Remie and Siri have been very... _encouraging_, Snape whispered.  
  
They've been quite encouraging. So you have a wet  
dream. It's a normal reaction Severus. No reason to be  
embarrassed, Barnes explained as he had his patient sit on the closed loo. He proceeded to run water in the tub. Snape looked reticent.  
  
Can't I shower? the Potions Master asked desperately wanting his privacy.  
  
No. You are too shaky on your feet and you know it! Barnes said firmly. He tested the temperature then added some potions sitting on the counter. Soothing herbal aromas filled the room. Finally he nudged Snape up and began to carefully strip the sticky clothing off. He looked surreptitiously at the residue. It was a bit dark and was flecked with black specks. He wanted to test some, see if there was any lasting damage to the sperm, so he non-chalantly wiped the bulk of it off Snape's stomach on the sleep shirt and tossed it on the sink counter. A quick stasis charm protected it for later.  
  
With support Snape stepped into the warm water. A rolled towel was placed behind his neck as he was encouraged to stretch out to soak. He seemed to be more relaxed, but his next question belied that apparent ease.  
  
What if I have another one? What if I wake up, um, up? I  
don't know if I could handle waking next to Remus or Sirius, Snape sounded fairly panicked.  
gods, what if I wake up next to ALBUS?! Dr. James reached for the washcloth and handed it to the upset wizard.  
  
If you wake up with an erection you can simply tent your  
robes or dressing gown and slip into the loo, Barnes said patiently.  
You were a teenager once, weren't you? And at a boarding  
school sleeping in a dorm. The Healer drizzled soap over the unused washcloth.  
  
Just come into the loo and take a nice warm bath. You can  
use the soap and cloth to _encourage_ things, Barnes said lightly, without too much of a smile. He noted with nearly professional detachment that Snape blushed everywhere visible.  
  
oh bloody hell, Snape slipped down into the tub nearly submersing his head.  
  
Be glad Jeffrey not here, the Healer smirked. He'd  
try to demonstrate proper technique. The Potions Master looked properly horrified.  
  
Proper? Proper! What did Jeffrey major in at university? Snape sputtered. Dr. James chuckled.  
  
Jeffrey has always been one to do things properly. Must  
be from his mother's side, The Healer smiled warmed with memory. Shaking his head slightly he focused back on his patient.  
Scrub. Unless you'd like some help?   
  
With a growl Snape set to washing himself. Barnes set a bottle of shampoo on the ledge before moving to straighten' the dirty robe on the counter. With a quick conjuring charm a sample was slipped into a pocket. The clothing was tossed in the corner for the elves and Snape was no more the wiser.   
  
*Yes, he should be glad Jeffy isn't here!* the Healer snorted to himself as he returned to sit on the loo. Using his wand he drew up water and brought it over his patient's hair.  
  
Barnes said and waited until Snape was ready. Water streamed down soaking his hair. The Healer watched soap suds form as Snape worked the shampoo through. More water was drawn up and hovered over the Potions Master. Tilting his head back he nodded and rinsed the first round.  
  
The soaping process was repeated and then a more thorough rinse. The tub was drained then Barnes continued to sluice his patient off.  
  
Do you want to soak awhile? he asked courteously.  
  
No, I think I'm relaxed enough! Snape retorted. So much so that Barnes needed to levitate him out of the tub and wrap him in a large bath sheet. Snape grumbled and pulled the towel around him tighter.  
  
I can take care of myself, he hissed.  
  
Of course you can, Barnes replied as he began drying him off with a separate towel, pulling his wet hair back. A second stumble and the Healer simply gathered him up and helped him into the bedroom. Snape growled but allowed him to continue. He soon found himself face-down on the bed while strong hands ran lotion over the length of his back and legs.  
  
You're doing much better, Severus, Barnes spoke softly as he worked.  
  
I feel better, Snape admitted. Except when I think about  
the manor and all. The Healer nudged him over on his back and continued to work in the lotion.  
  
Well, the manor and all' is enough to break a person. I am  
very pleased you are working through your losses, Barnes said calmly. Snape did not tense up nor did he look as though he'd cry.   
  
I did break, the Potions Master said very, very softly. Barnes smiled warmly and urged him to sit up on the side of the bed.  
  
No, you were overwhelmed and still are a little. But you are  
not broken Severus, the Healer said gently.  
You are very much on the mend and in control for the most  
part. A clean robe was secured as well as a pair of warm, and thick, flannel shorts.  
  
Need to keep that lower torso warm, Barnes said with a straight face. Snape glared at him.   
I am your Healer and I insist. If anyone asks why you're   
wearing them you can tell them that.  
  
Standing, Snape took the shorts and pulled them on without any comment. He then grumbled as Barnes tugged the robe over his head and made sure it was settled on correctly. The Potions Master sat back on the edge of the bed and looked up at the Healer.  
  
You really like doing all this don't you, Snape muttered; his dark eyes searching the brown warmth of Barnes' eyes.  
  
Of course. And I do care a great deal for you, obstinate  
wizard! Let's go see if Dobby is willing to bring up some  
tea. I skipped lunch, the Healer smiled and held out a hand to his patient. Snape stared at the proffered hand a moment before grasping it.  
  
I.. I am glad you care for me, he looked back up.  
You always treat me kindly and.. and... Barnes pulled him up on his feet and into a hug.  
  
I know, Severus. I know, the Healer said quietly.  
  
Thank you Dr. James. Thank you... Snape said with more emotion than he would have liked but could not control. Barnes held him tight letting him take comfort.  
  
  
  
  
Dumbledore returned to his rooms after trying unsuccessfully to avoid both Black and Jeffrey Barnes. The Headmaster's little blunder at the questioning yesterday was causing some problems for both wizards; and more for Harry. He had honestly expected the French wizard to deny his love. The quiet declaration of love had been a real shock.  
  
Tossing his outer cloak on the partially burned clothes rack he stretched his back and yawned.  
  
Long afternoon Albus? Snape's friendly voice drifted over from the table where he sat with Dr. James. Dumbledore sighed in relief. Here, at least, he'd be able to relax.  
  
Oh, yes. I think a cup of that tea would do nicely about  
now, the older wizard said crossing the room. He seated himself next to Snape who poured out a cup of earl gray.  
  
Dobby's been experimenting with all things lemon, Albus.  
I'm sure you'll enjoy some of these shortbread bisquits, Dr. James said pushing the plate closer to the tired Headmaster.  
  
You certainly won't like this custard, Snape murmured as he lifted a slightly shaking spoonful to his mouth with a contented sigh. Dumbledore regarded him with an arched eyebrow.  
  
Oh, really? he asked with an inquiring tone, but reached for a bisquit instead. He'd swiped Snape's dessert on a few occasions but not this time.   
  
Oh my, Dumbledore moaned decadently as he began chewing the shortbread. It was indeed lemon and sweet. Two of his favorite things.   
  
I told you his eyes would roll up, Snape remarked to Barnes. The Healer reached into a hidden pocket an drew out a small handful of coins. Selecting a shiny sickle he tossed it to the Potions Master.  
  
You bet on my reaction?? Dumbledore sputtered indignantly, crumbs flew out onto the table and on his companions. With a sigh the Healer took a golden galleon and pushed that over to the chortling Snape.  
  
the Potions Master smirked as he set the coins next to his custard dish. The Headmaster still was aghast at the two wizards. He sipped some tea and then reached for Snape's custard. Taking a bite he watched the Healer for reaction.  
  
Didn't bet on my stealing the custard? Dumbledore asked pointedly.  
  
That really would be a sucker bet, Barnes replied with a snort. Snape started to tremble then covered his face.  
  
Are you ok, child? the Headmaster turned quickly, concern painting his voice.  
  
oh, fine, the Potions Master squeaked out. A snicker broke out but was quickly quelled as Snape took several deep breaths. Barnes grinned as he patted his patient soothingly.  
  
Just a little excited, eh? Barnes murmured with smirk. Snape's face went blank before a light blush crept up on his cheeks.  
  
I am not a little excited', he drawled disdainfully.  
  
I suppose not, Barnes replied. More tea?  
  
Snape replied holding out his cup. Dumbledore was curious but not enough to ask any questions. He'd had enough questions for the time being! They settled back into their chairs and nibbled at their sweets.  
  
I think I'll go out to the manor this weekend, Snape said casually. Dumbledore nearly spewed his tea this time but managed to swallow and sit up straight staring at his friend.  
Dr. James and I talked about it.  
  
Does Jeffrey know? Dumbledore asked and received two sheepish glances.  
  
No, I haven't spoken specifically with Jeffy about it, Barnes said.  
  
Your Jeffy' is not too keen on surprises of late James.  
If I were you I'd clear it with him first, the Headmaster remarked a little too offhand.   
  
I have noticed that my Jeffy has a bit of a problem with  
not being consulted, Barnes agreed amicably as he sipped at his tea.  
  
  
+damn straight+ Dumbledore whispered to himself.  
  
I also know where he sleeps. And I pay the house elf... Barnes lifted a corner of his lip in a delighted sneer.   
  
But it was mine, I want to go see what's left! Snape suddenly burst in. Healer and Headmaster glanced at one another making a quick pax.  
  
It is your manor, Severus, and you can go see what's left, Dr. James said carefully.   
  
I mean, I might just curl up and implode, but, but... Snape drew in a sharp breath. Dumbledore reached over and removed the fresh cup of hot tea out of his hands as the Healer put a soothing hand on Snape's shoulder.  
  
Severus! Take a deep breath. Good... Another... I told  
you I would take you out to the manor site. Albus will go  
with us. Just to look. Then after a few more days we can  
go back and start looking at the areas the searchers have  
marked for you, Barnes explained.  
  
Yes, child. They found several warded areas. We know   
that Sirius' papers survived in the safe you let him use.  
I'm sure there are a few more things to find, Dumbledore added. He watched Snape anxiously to see how he'd process the information. The Potions Master finally leaned against the Healer.  
  
Sorry. I know there's precious little left. I know what those  
bombing-hexes can do to even stone. I even know I'm going  
to fall apart when I see it, Snape said sadly.  
But I have to go. I have to see. Then I can get through  
this nightmare.  
  
We know, Severus. We understand. Albus and I will see  
you through. Jeffery, Remus and Sirius will too, Barnes said as he pull his patient under his arm. Still emotionally fragile.   
  
After a long moment Snape moved back although the Healer kept a hand on his shoulder. Dumbledore patted his friend's knee in encouragement and set the tea cup down in front of him. Tucking a few stray strands of hair behind his ear Snape then rubbed at eyes that had threatened to tear. Finally he retrieved his tea cup and shakily sipped.  
  
It really will be all right child, the Headmaster promised once more.


	21. Chapter 21: Transitions

Title: When Harry Left Severus  
  
rating: R for adult themes including male/male relationships.   
  
Chapter 21 Transitions   
by: Raven Dancer  
  
disclaimer: All characters belong to J.K. Rowling except for the Drs. Barnes, Daniel Murphy and Beryl. I receive no monetary compensation for these works.   
  


*********************~*********************  


  
  
Harry woke with the same headache he went to sleep with, throbbing behind his left eye. He supposed that should be a relief since it used to always throb right behind his scar. Variety was the spice of life and all. He hadn't mentioned it to Dr. Barnes or his Godfather.  
  
The pain had given him something to focus on, kept him from thinking about Vachel. He pushed up, sitting on the edge of the bed.  
  
Now it just hurt.   
  
Good morning, Harry. Have some tea? Bill Weasley said brightly. Harry irritably considered the fact all the Weasleys were bright first thing in the morning. He pressed the heel of his hand against his eye.  
  
Bill asked as he set his cup down and moved toward the bed.  
  
Headache. Had it last night but I thought it'd go away, Harry admitted.  
  
Dr. Barnes left some pain potions. Remember he said that  
you would get headaches as you worked through your   
regained memories, the elder Weasley reminded the wizard. He plucked a packet from the dresser and brought it to Harry, dumping it into a glass of water was poured from the carafe on the bedside table.  
  
What is that? Harry asked suspiciously. He took the packet and read the ingredients.   
I recognize most of this, but what's ibuprofen?  
  
I don't know. I used a packet the day before yesterday.  
I went for a walk with Severus and Remus and developed a   
headache after trudging through those halls, Bill shivered at the memory.  
  
How was Severus? Harry asked suddenly. He accepted the foaming glass and sniffed.  
  
Stiff. Tired. But Remus still made him walk down to the   
staff lounge. McGonagall and Hooch were there... Bill was interrupted.  
  
Why was he out if he were so tired? Harry pressed.  
  
I think he's been having problems with nightmares.   
Something about the potions not working or he was breaking  
through them. So Dr. James felt he should get some light  
exercise, Bill explained. Drink it Harry, it won't bite!  
  
With a glare worthy of the Potions Master he drained the cup in one long pull. Blinking in surprise his gaze softened.  
  
Wow, that tasted good! Harry exclaimed.  
  
Yeah. Smells bland but it tastes like an orange squash, Bill agreed. Harry shook his head slightly.  
  
Headache's gone, again the surprise.  
  
Well, Dr. Jeffrey uses some different blends than Pomfrey  
does. Plus he and his father keep current. I always felt  
that Poppy is a bit of a traditionalist. Use the potions that  
always work, Bill observed. Harry stood and stretched.  
  
Is it breakfast time? Harry asked glancing at the window.  
  
Yep. Get ready and you can walk me down, Bill said with a slight shudder.   
  
The Great Hall had been quiet. Most of the students had trained home earlier in the week and the few still here were assisting various professors clean rooms for the summer holiday. Dumbledore had been conspicuously absent but Harry decided even the Headmaster had the right to sleep in sometimes.  
  
Harry was a bit disheartened to see Jeffrey Barnes enter the hall with a strange witch at his side. He'd had a difficult session with the young Healer the day previous, the big contributing factor of his headache. Barnes had pushed him to discuss his feelings about Vachel. Hard. But he kept stifling any attempt to discuss the young man's feeling about Snape.  
  
It's Dr. Mir! Bill said happily. He waved at the witch and received and answering wave and smile.  
  
She's my therapist. She's been helping me deal with the  
cave-in, Weasley explained to Harry. The two Healers sat  
down across from them.  
  
Good morning, Jeffrey said brightly. He received a less than enthusiastic response from his patient.  
  
Hullo Bill! I see you're doing much better, Mir said warmly. Then she turned to his companion.  
A pleasure to meet you, Mr. Potter, the witch extended her hand and shook his.  
  
Good morning. Dr. Mir? Harry responded.  
  
Yes, Antonia Mir. Jeffrey thought you and I might talk, she said with a disarming smile. Harry felt curious.  
  
he glanced at Jeffrey.  
  
Harry, you and I aren't doing very well as doctor and   
patient. I thought you might feel better with a different  
therapist, Jeffrey explained.   
  
*Yes, much better,* thought Harry.   
  
I suppose, he said aloud, trying to be indifferent.  
  
After you've finished perhaps we can take a walk. I've  
heard something about a giant squid from Bill, Mir offered.  
  
The squid? Harry glanced at Bill wondering how their conversations about a cave-in ever extended to the squid.  
Sure, it might even be out.   
  
  
  
Dumbledore was not actually sleeping in; he was inspecting the owlery. Filch needed to clean it out now that the student owls were gone for the summer. He thought he'd go check a few classrooms next. Maybe the astronomy tower, too. Yes, he could easily keep busy most of the day.  
  
He told himself he was not hiding, not avoiding Barnes and Black. Especially not trying to keep out of Harry Potter's sight.   
  
Never. Albus Dumbledore did not hide!  
  
Although he did believe in judicious retreats. Hence the unscheduled tour of the castle. Snape was in good hands at the moment; Dr. James was due to visit. He scratched the head of a sleepy barn owl before moving out the door. Onto the next tower!  
  
  
  
Snape was still shaky from his morning wake-up when the three men finally untangled and went into the washroom. He had more help than he could possibly desire in the bath, though, and wondered how his companions managed showering without hurting themselves. He'd taken the tub but that didn't exclude him from the washing .  
  
He'd been shaky; now he was thoroughly boneless. Lupin and Black tucked him into robes and guided him out to the breakfast table under the watchful eye of Dr. James. He noted his patient seemed weaker than the day before. Dobby poured out tea and passed cups around.  
  
You look quite... relaxed, Severus. Did you sleep well? the Healer asked pointedly as tea passed over Black's lips. The resultant spew across the table delighted him. The Potions Master gave Barnes a big, happy smile.  
  
The Healer's mouth dropped. Snape looked like the cat who'd been into the cream.  
  
Barnes faintly prompted.  
  
I slept very well, Dr. James. And the wake-up was quite  
invigorating, Snape said, tooling his face back into the impassive mask they'd seen since he'd learned about his home. Although a slight flush spread on his cheeks.  
  
Although I think the bath was a bit over-blown, he concluded as he sipped his tea.   
  
Lupin spewed.  
  
You demonstrated the ability to swallow earlier, Snape drawled. A delighted sneer graced his face as all three of his companions blushed.   
  
You are so, so, Black sputtered.  
  
So Severus, Barnes concluded with a grin. He patted Snape's shoulder.  
Good to see the humor coming back.  
  
Breakfast came up. The Healer kept a close eye on Snape, not liking the fine tremor that had reappeared. He glanced several times at Black and Lupin, but both wizards studiously avoided his eye. Soon they were engaged in hot cereal and fruit, toast and bacon, omelets and danish.   
  
Ah, I enjoy Dobby's creativity, Black sighed as he sampled an omelet filled with a variety of sautéed veggies.  
  
He is a wonderful cook, Lupin agreed. He looked over at Snape as he was stifling a yawn. Perhaps they'd gone a little overboard. He once more avoided Barnes' piercing gaze.  
  
Need a nap? Black teased a bit uneasily. He was rewarded with a glare from the Healer (which he ignored best he could) and a sneer from Snape.  
  
I am going to read. Not nap. R-E-A-D, Snape replied haughtily. He pushed up started towards the lounge. A stumble had the Healer at his side immediately. He helped the Potions Master lie down and began scanning him.  
  
I'm fine, Dr. James. I'm just tired, the Potions Master murmured.   
  
I can see that Severus. Your body is quite worn out, Barnes looked questioningly at his patient.  
  
I, uh, I... Snape fumbled for the words. Barnes knelt down on the rug close to his patient so that the couldn't hear them.  
  
You had a dream? Barnes asked suspiciously.  
  
No, woke up hard and Siri and Remus took care of it, Snape blushed furiously.  
  
  
I thought you were sleeping in Albus' bed, the Healer pressed.  
  
I was. Albus got up early for some reason. When I woke  
up I was in their bed, Snape confessed. Barnes quickly pieced together events and realized his patient's exhaustion had nothing to do with Snape's choices.   
  
So they were just being the Healer smiled gently, stopping the inquisition. He accio'd his satchel and poke inside selecting several potions. Snape watched as these were combined in a mug.   
  
They love me. Me! Snape whispered with a slight unbelieving tremor in his voice.  
  
Yes, Remus and Siri love you very much. They just need to  
slow down and let you gain back your strength, the Healer replied kindly. Soon Barnes slipped his arm under his patient and helped him sit up.  
  
I thought I was off the anti-depressants, Snape muttered eyeing the cup suspiciously.  
  
Yes, you are. This is sunlast and some strengthening  
potions. You need a bit of a boost, Dr. James said holding the cup to the wizard's lips. The tell-tale smell of a rainy spring day wafted up and Snape inhaled deeply.  
  
Always smells wonderful, he said then began to sip the potion. Barnes encouraged him to finish the entire brew. It tasted good, too, and Snape's tongue darted out to clean his lips.  
  
Now I think you will nap instead of read Severus, the Healer said as his patient blinked sleepily. Setting the cup aside Barnes carefully lowered Snape, pulling up a warm blanket. He placed his hand on Snape's forehead.  
  
Barnes whispered the charm and watch as the Potions Master slipped into sleep. Then he stood up to take care of two distinct problems. He turned and faced Lupin and Black.  
  
Gentlemen? We need to talk, Dr. James growled soft and deadly at the two cowering wizards.   



	22. Chapter 22: Outcast

Title: When Harry Left Severus  
  
rating: R for adult themes including male/male relationships.   
  
Chapter 22 - Outcasts  
by: Raven Dancer  
  
disclaimer: All characters belong to J.K. Rowling except for the Drs. Barnes, Daniel Murphy and Beryl. I receive no monetary compensation for these works.   
  


**********************~**********************  


  
Harry walked back into the castle deep in thought. In one short walk around the lake Dr. Mir had given him more to think about AND made him feel completely secure talking with her. He'd been very pleased to agree to meeting with her again the next afternoon.  
  
Moving past the Great Hall Harry looked towards the stairs up to Dumbledore's office. Mir had been puzzled why he hadn't been up to see Snape. Certainly the Potions Master may have some issues dealing with seeing Harry again, between the beating and the destruction. But those issues couldn't begin to be resolved until the two got together.  
  
Hmmmm. Vachel had declared his love for Harry, but it was a possessive, controlling love. Severus had said he loved Harry, too. But he sent Harry away, encouraged him to see the world and make new friends.  
  
Snape loved Harry.  
  
The young wizard now stared up the stairs considering his chances. If he could just get to Snape, tell him how wrong he'd been running off with Vachel. Then they could pick up their relationship, build it together.  
  
The notion of returning to Snape, whom Harry was sure missed him a great deal, took hold. Yes, he needed to go straight upstairs and take his rightful place with his love!   
  
Harry purposefully walked up the stairs and soon was facing the gargoyle wondering what the password was. Guessing was going to take some time. Mentally he began composing a list of sweets.  
  
Cherry Truffles... Lemon Drops... Lion Bars... Harry shot out a few random favorites. He was thinking of his next go-round when suddenly the gargoyle swung out. He quickly hid behind it and watched the older Healer leave the opening.   
  
With a quick dive the young wizard was passed the gargoyle and at the base of the stairway. During the ride up he began thinking of ways to get to Snape. He quickly cast aside any notion of being polite and asking permission as he was certain that wouldn't work at all! All those surrounding the Potions Master continually deflected any requests to see him.   
  
No, the direct approach was best. Push into the room and locate the older wizard immediately. The door came up rather suddenly but Harry squared his shoulders and walked in.  
  
To an empty office. He glanced around the room and noticed someone was resting on the couch. Quietly moving across the room he made out the peaceful countenance of Severus.   
  
This was not one of the scenarios he'd thought about! Alone and asleep!! Carefully Harry sat down on the edge of the coffee table and just watched the older man sleep.   
  
Where were his protectors? Harry reached out and stroked loose hair back, fingers tracing eyebrows... nose... lips... Snape's face animated.  
  
*My Severus!* Harry sighed. *MINE!* He knelt next to the waking man and kissed him soundly on the lips. Lips moved against his and he began to probe gently with his tongue. They were just warming into a good snog when Snape slit open his eyes.  
  
the Potions Master exclaimed, pulling back out of the kiss.  
Where's Dr. James? Confused the young wizard tried moving towards his lover.  
  
Left. We're all alone, Harry attempted to reinvestigate the kiss. Snape pushed up and moved down the couch.  
  
Harry, what are you doing? Snape asked gently.  
  
I am trying to kiss you, fool, Harry snapped. He plopped down on the couch next to the older wizard.  
  
Snape pursued.  
  
Because I love you and you love me, Harry explained.  
  
the Potions Master stood slowly and walked carefully to the window.  
Harry, I do love you, but not as a lover.   
  
How do you know? I've been gone for months! Harry retorted somewhat angry. How could the man be so sure?!  
  
I know. You know, too, if you would stop to think about it, Snape said calmly. Harry stood up and strode over to the wizard, standing toe to toe.  
  
I _LOVE _YOU! the younger wizard proclaimed as he threw his arms around the Potions Master.  
  
again the gentle tone. Hands cupped his face and forced him to look up into the deep black eyes.  
  
I love you, also. But not as my mate, Snape said firmly. He ineffectively tried to pry Harry off.  
  
You do love me! You are my mate! Harry said raggedly. He pushed against the Potions Master trying to pull him tighter. Unbalanced Snape went over, falling hard onto the ground. Harry landed partially on the man's side and immediately scrambled on top.  
  
I will make you love me! Harry hissed, pulling out his wand. Snape's eyes bore into his, full of sadness. Harry raised his wand higher and jerked it slightly.  
  
IMPER... IMP... Imp... he faltered on the last, his eyes were still locked with Snape's, now filled with fear. The older wizard was pale, and tried to shield his face from the threatened curse..  
  
gods, Severus, I'm sorry, sorry... Harry burst into tears and threw his wand aside. He was immediately fell against the older wizard sobbing. Snape was shaking but attempted to comfort him.  
  
Hands were on them drawing them apart. Harry found himself drawn up to a new set of arms. He realized it was Dr. Mir.  
  
Hullo Harry, she said soothingly. I met up with Jeffrey  
before I left and decided I may have made a poor suggestion.  
  
Not poor, Snape managed. Jeffrey had sat down on the floor next to his patient and had pulled him up to lean against him.  
  
Sssshh, Severus. You're safe. Just rest, Barnes said as he scanned for any problems. With a sigh Snape curled against the Healer.  
  
I should have handled that better, the Potions Master murmured. He was still trembling uncontrollably.  
  
I'm so sorry, Harry cried. He clung to the witch.  
  
It will be ok, Harry. You just need to give yourself some  
time to heal and think through all that's happened, Mir said as she brought him to the couch. Tissue materialized.  
  
How can it be ok? I nearly cast an imperio curse! I was   
going to d-do the same thing to Severus as Vachel did to   
me! Harry spat out clearly disgusted with himself.  
  
But you didn't Harry. You stopped yourself, Mir said simply. Harry turned slightly so he could see Snape. The older wizard was tucked tightly against the concerned Healer, eyes closed.   
  
Look what I did to him! He's shaking! The only person who  
loved me and now he hates me, Harry said with a hysteric edge. Snape's eyes opened and stared directly into the young wizard's wet green ones.  
  
I do not hate you, Harry. The curse frightened me, I have  
been under its effects before. But I do not hate you. I am  
only sorry I cannot give you the love you want, Snape shivered as Barnes completely encircle him, arms and legs wrapped tightly as energy was fed in.   
  
ssshh, Severus. I need you to relax. Harry will be fine. Dr.  
Mir is simply the best, Jeffrey murmured mostly to his patient as he upped the energy flow. The fall and fear had drained Snape and he wanted the wizard to rest. He didn't have to wait long; the Potions Master sniffed and buried his face in the Healer's shoulder.  
  
Let's get you down to your rooms, Harry. You need to rest  
for awhile, Mir said. On one hand it had been a mistake to suggest Harry see his ex-lover. On the other hand the confrontation cleared the way for some meaningful dialog and healing for the young man.   
  
We'll send for your Godfather? Or your friend Hermione? the witch suggested.  
  
Is Mrs. Weasley still here? Harry asked as he sniffed, trying to stop crying. Dr. Mir looked over at Jeffrey.  
  
Yes, she is here. I'm sure one of the house elves would be  
happy to find her, Barnes said as he eased Snape into a deeper energy feed.  
  
Let's go Harry. We'll find an elf on the way, Mir stood and held out her hand. Harry looked for a long moment at Snape considering. Then the moment past and he shifted his eyes to his new Healer. Taking her hand he stood and allowed her to lead him out of the room.  
  
  
  
Lupin and Black climbed the stairs up to the astronomy tower. They'd fled the Headmaster's rooms as soon as they could.   
  
I've never been so embarrassed! the werewolf muttered.  
  
Geeze, you'd think we'd deliberately hurt Severus, Black added. There was movement near the door to the tower and Dumbledore appeared.  
  
What did you do to Severus?! the Headmaster asked, startling both men.  
  
Nothing! Well, nothing mean or bad! Sirius quickly answered.  
  
Lupin blushed. Dumbledore's frown deepened.  
  
So, you took advantage of him... Before he was well enough  
and ready to make a decision, the older wizard said sternly.  
  
We didn't take advantage' of Severus. You know that we  
love him and he loves us! Black growled. Dumbledore glared briefly then sighed.  
  
I know you do; but he must be very tired if Dr. James is  
upset with you, Albus pointed out.  
  
Severus was so content this morning, Lupin said with a quiet smile.  
  
He certainly did not fight us Albus; we did not force him! Black pointed out.  
No one would ever say Severus would docilely comply if  
he didn't want to.  
  
Yes, Severus is very good about expressing his opinions,  
isn't he? the Headmaster rolled his eyes and opened the tower door. The wind lifted this hair and stirred his robes.  
Come on, we'll be safe out here.  
  
Lupin glanced at his mate in askance. Black shrugged and walked outside. The three men stood in silence for a time looking over the school grounds. It was a warm day and the cool wind was inviting.  
  
Looks as if between the three of us we've got the doctors  
upset, Lupin offered with a remorseful grin. Albus snorted.  
  
Oh, yes, we've made a complete job of it. I'm sure we're  
personas non grata! the Headmaster decided.  
  
Dr. James said we should make ourselves scarce for a few  
hours, Black admitted. He perched on the stone battlement while the headmaster sat on the nearby bench. Lupin chose to lean against the wall between them.  
  
Well, we could all commiserate on how we've mucked up, the werewolf said, but perhaps we should plan our trip to the manor tomorrow. This was agreed to and they began to discuss their trip.  
  
  



	23. Chapter 23: Home

Title: When Harry Left Severus  
  
rating: R for adult themes including male/male relationships.   
  
Chapter 23  
by: Raven Dancer  
  
disclaimer: All characters belong to J.K. Rowling except for the Drs. Barnes, Daniel Murphy and Beryl. I receive no monetary compensation for these works.   
  


***********************~***********************  


  
  
Severus Snape glanced around the table. Albus, both healers, and both lovers were helping themselves to breakfast. Today he was going out to his manor.   
  
With too many people!  
  
He'd argued unsuccessfully with Jeffrey and Albus to limit the group. Snape had only wanted Albus and James to go with him. But Jeffrey insisted as his counselor he go along. Then both Lupin and Black had professed their undying support and desire to be with him. Officer Murphy would be meeting them at the manor site.  
  
It was too much. Too many people to satisfy that he was all right. Too many people wanting to hold him if he fell. Jeffrey and Albus in full protection mode, Remus and Sirius wanting to be his emotional shield.   
  
Snape knew it was going to be emotionally devastating to see his ancestral home destroyed. Jeffrey had discussed that with him to distraction in hopes to reduce the shock. Those four wizards would do anything to lessen his pain.   
  
But Snape needed his pain. Needed to purge himself of the bad memories and dreams. He knew once he got through this day his life would fall back into its paths. He glanced at the sympathetic look coming from Black.  
  
If they'd allow him his pain. Snape doubted it greatly.   
  
a gentle voice called to him. He looked up reluctantly expecting to see pity and concern. But most of his retinue were plotting and planning in quiet whispers. His eyes met Dr. James'. No pity there, rather a mischievous twinkle.  
  
We have over an hour before we're suppose to meet  
Daniel. Why don't we go for a short walk while these  
gentlemen get organized... James suggested.  
  
Snape nearly refused thinking James would just try placating him until it was time to go. Something about the twinkle in his eye, the almost-smirk on his lips, didn't bespeak consoling.   
  
Yes, Severus, why don't you go with James for a bit?   
Jeffrey and I have some things to discuss, Dumbledore encouraged. There was something in Albus' benign gaze that seemed a bit _off_ too. With a sigh the Potions Master stood and meekly followed the Healer out of the room.  
  
They moved quietly through the halls down past the Great Hall. It was quiet now, students gone for the summer. Soon they were standing in the courtyard bathed in sunlight. Used to being told what he could and could not do Snape stayed just behind the Healer's left shoulder.  
  
Albus sent me an owl last night, Barnes said as he drew his patient next to him, arm around Snape's back.  
  
He didn't use that muggle computer of his? Snape asked as he moved closer to the safety of the Healer.  
  
He knows Jeffrey checks the clinic's computer, the older man said.  
He told me about your request, to go to the manor with  
a much smaller group. Snape stood seemingly searching the shadows along the edges of the courtyard.  
  
Snape sighed. Not bloody going to happen.  
  
It seems to me it's a reasonable request, James murmured as he pulled something out from a pocket.  
In fact, Albus endorsed the request whole-heartedly. A handkerchief was produced.  
  
You and Albus agree. It's the other three who do not, Snape replied quietly wondering what the kerchief was for. James flipped it back and forth until a thin leather pouch was exposed.  
  
Albus regrets he cannot come along. He's detained with  
some guests in the office... James said kindly proffering the small brown pouch. The Potions Master stared for a moment before accepting it.   
We'll just run along now. Albus will come with the others  
in a while.  
  
Thank you, Snape breathed deeply, still leaning against his Healer. He closed his eyes as the familiar tug pulled him away.   
  
The air around him changed. Still warm with a hint of a breeze. Snape stayed carefully nestled against Barnes allowing his nose and ears to gather information first. It smelled of damp charred wood, the acrid odor rose to meet them. There was still a drone of bugs in the background.  
  
It's gone, isn't it? The wind plays on and there are no  
eddies or swirls around the edges... Snape began mournfully.  
  
It is gone, Severus. Come, Dr. James encouraged. He shifted his patient against his side bringing him to face the ruins.  
Just look Severus, just look.  
  
Snape slowly opened his eyes, blinking as he began to take in the scene in front of him.   
  
It was a shambles. Worse than a shambles. Walls were in heaps of charred timbers. Skeletal remains of supports leaning haphazardly against them. Trembling Snape took small steps around the perimeter of the ruin.  
  
This was the morning room, he whispered, hand outstretched towards the melted glass.  
I loved the sun when it came through.   
  
A butterfly, unconcerned with the trials of man, floated around them in a graceful dance. Briefly the potions master's eyes were drawn from the wreckage and followed its path. Barnes stayed close, his arm linked around his patient's. Snape continued his slow walk.  
  
My li... library, he looked at the torched walls of stone. The hot fire had scorched every binding.   
  
Some books survived Severus. They will need rebinding, Dr. James pointed out. He nudged Snape on not wanting to make a foray into the rubble just yet.   
  
I thought... Snape began.  
  
We thought more had been lost, between the fire and the  
muggle and magical fire teams. I'm glad we were wrong, he tugged on the man.  
  
I forget how powerful those spells are, Snape said quietly a few steps later.  
I never cast one but I've seen the results many years ago.  
  
Barnes agreed. They had reached the bedrooms at the end of the wing. A tear has trailed down the recovering wizard's face.  
  
I hated this place, Snape said more calmly than Barnes felt possible.  
Father was a tyrant and mother, well mother viewed me as  
her own whipping boy. I never wanted to come here once I  
went to Hogwarts. The Healer waited patiently for him to continue. They turned to stroll into the gardens.  
  
I wanted to sell the place when they died, Snape continued as he headed towards a bench.  
Well, I wanted to destroy it. But Albus wouldn't let me  
and then I became involved with Voldemort. Never got   
around to either. They sat together on the concrete and Barnes made sure they were close, his hand clasping Snape's.   
  
More tears fell as the black eyes slowly traveled over the wreckage.  
  
But you came to live there... Dr. James prompted gently. Snape remained silent for long minutes before resting his head against the older wizard. The Healer shifted his arm over his patient's shoulder.  
  
For all the bad memories, it was still my home. After more  
than twenty years those memories dwindled. I am a Snape.  
This is where generations of Snapes lived and died. It   
defined who I am, the Potions Master sniffled.  
  
Another butterfly wheeled around the seated figures coming to rest on a nearby flower.   
  
I used to love capturing butterflies in the garden, Snape murmured.   
Catch them and let them go. So delicate, so beautiful.  
  
Why did you let them go? Barnes asked.  
  
Because I could. Because I was never... let... go, Snape said with slow realization. He lifted his head and sat upright. Barnes dropped his arm and waited.  
  
Let go. He could finally let go. His parents were dead. Voldemort was dead. The family mansion destroyed. This was never where he belonged, never home. In his mind Albus' warm smile and kind eyes pulled at him. Home... He recalled Remus' breath against his neck as they slept nestled together. Home... Sirius' arms as they held him close. Home... Dobby's annoying cheerfulness. Home.. Jeffrey's teasing and concern. Home... And this man beside him, Dr. James. Home...  
  
A set of footsteps approached them crunching on the gravel path.   
  
It is only Daniel, Barnes told Snape. The head of security quietly stood next to them.   
  
Good afternoon Officer Murphy, the Potions Master said very quietly.  
  
Good afternoon Professor Snape, Murphy responded in kind.  
Are you ready for your guests? They waited as the wizard considered the question. Snape finally pushed up off the bench and looked towards the officer.  
  
Actually Daniel, I would rather go home, Snape said.  
  
  
~Finis~


End file.
